Instant Husband
by Rhaide AND Souichirou-chan
Summary: To stop her untimely engagement with a ham boy, Kagura must find her Husband! Who do you think he is? For OkiKagu fans!Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama..
1. Chapter 1

Greetings to all Okikagu fans there!haha...actually, i'm not the one who write this fic..maybe i have some of my ideas here and the plot is from me but there is an inspired person who writes this.. .i have a special friend in Facebook who really loves this two violent persons in Gintama! Thanks Jure-chan! Here's your masterpiece!

Chapter I

It was yet another normal day in the Yorozuya. Kagura was eating her sukonbu while lying with her tummy on the couch, Shinpachi cleaning their house while listening to Otsuu's songs, Sadaharu with his daily routine of biting Gin's head and Gin-chan sitting in front of the television with his eyes glued on the weather forecaster Ketsuno Ana while sipping his strawberry milk without noticing that blood is flowing down from his head.

It was supposed to be a peaceful day, not until…

*ding dong*

But no one cared, they just ignored it.

*ding dong* *ding dong*

Kagura lifted her head and faced Shinpachi, "Oi, Megane, someone's outside. Check it." she commanded.

"Stop calling me Megane! And I'm busy here why don't you try doing what you asked me?" Shinpachi answered.

Then she looked at Gin, "Gin-chan, someone's there. Check it."

No response, so she tried calling him again, "Oi, are you still alive?"

"Just leave it be." Finally Sadaharu took off his fangs from him, "It's just some salesman who couldn't sell well, trying to deceive us with his smile and say some flowery words to force us to buy his goods."

"Fine, then Sadaharu, let's open it." Kagura said.

"Arf!" the dog replied as if obeying her command. So the both of them hurried into the door.

*ding dong* *ding dong* *ding dong*

She opened the door. A fat guy appeared in front of her, carrying an umbrella with pale complexion.

"Ah! Kagur-" the guy said.

*bite* the man's head can no longer be seen. It was already inside Sadaharu's mouth and blood continuously flow from his head that it has reached the floor.

"Kagura-chan, who was i-?" Shinapachi asked, and saw what happened,"KAGURA? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

She looked back at him, "Ah. Shinpachi, get me a shovel." She said, with an innocent face as if she's not doing anything bad.

Shinpachi started panicking, he went to the door, "Oi Kagura! Tell Sadaharu to get off him!" But Sadaharu just deepen his bite, "Aaaaaaah! Sadaharu stop it!"

"Che. Fine, Sadaharu stop it." Kagura said, and just as he was told he took off his fangs from the guy's head.

"Hahaha…..*trembling voice*" his skin was so pale and his face was so bloody, "Heeeee…lloooo."

Inside the Yorozuya…

"Hai, here's the tea." Shinpachi said, while giving the tea to him

"Thank you." He said.

The guy sat on their couch while Gin and Kagura were sitting across him. They were just staring at him, like they've been trying to figure out something about it.

"Eh?" Gin suddenly said then pointed that guy, "Could you be that ham's twin?"

(Remember that episode about the shabu shabu? The fat girl there that Gin was calling ham.)

"Oi! That's too rude!" Shinpachi said

"H-ham?" the guy asked in confusion.

"Ahhh!" Kagura said while lightly tapping her fist on her palm like she just figured out something, "So that's why Sadaharu attacked you! He must've been hungry!"

"Kagura, you should apologize for what you've done a while ago." Shinpachi said.

Gin was holding his chin, "Men, who should've thought they would be elaborating that homo side character's family background." Then he pointed him again, "You should be grateful even if this is just a fanfic there are still some who would write about you."

"I bet he's just another homo side character in this story or worse an extra." Kagura said, "Who would like a ham to be a main character in a story, this is not a cooking anime oi."

"Stop it you two, please." Shinpachi plead, with a bit anger in his voice.

*anger mark* "Oi! Just to tell you I-" the guy said who was already pissed with the two

"Maa, maa….We're so sorry for what happened. Please calm down." –Shinpachi said to stop him.

"Who the hell are you? Bacon? Huh? Ham II?" Gin said.

"Gin-san! He could be our customer! Please stop that ham joke already!" –Shinpachi said then faced the guy, "Well, now that you mention it, who are you? And what's your business here?"

"Uhhh…Actually I am….." it was in a very low tone, with sincere voice.

"You are?"-shinpachi.

Then he stood up so proudly, and placed his hands on his waist. *boing* his tummy bounced with his extreme movements, then he pointed Kagura, "I AM YOUR FIANCE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" then he looked up and laughed out loud, *boing boing* "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!HOOORA, amazed? Huh? amazed that I am a main character in this story? HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ehhhh?" –shinpachi's jaw dropped.

Kagura faced Gin, "Gin-chan, I don't want to marry a bouncing ham."

Gin held her shoulders, "Isn't that great Kagura, you will be able to eat ham your whole life. looking at him, he attracts all the ham in this world." he was holding up his laughter, "You fit each other, don't worry."

"But he's full of fats, and fats have too much cholesterol."

Shinpachi's hands were trembling while holding his glasses, "M-may I ask how that happened?" he was also holding up his laughter.

"I just gave Umibouzu some hair thickener and he agreed right away." The ha— err..the guy said.

"Oi Gin-chan, do something about it. I don't want to be tied up with this extra-looking character." Kagura plead.

"Okay, okay…." Then he stood up and faced the so-called fiancé, "Oi, Bacon!"

"Hey, my name's Yuuichi!" the ha—guy said.

"Heh? He has a name?" Kagura said.

"I AM a main character here!"

Kagura just looked at the opposite direction with droopy eyes and said, "Che. "

"You can't marry this girl, it's because I am her Father-in-Law!" Gin shouted.

"Eh?" –Shinpachi

"Ehhh…I don't want a stingy father-in-law." Kagura complained.

"Shut up and just go with the flow." Gin whispered to her, then faced him again, "She's already married okay? So take back that hair thickener from his baldy father and get the hell out of here!"

"Hah! Then where is her husband?" Yuuichi asked, "This guy?" and he pointed Shinpachi.

"Oi! I will never marry a pair of glasses! " Kagura defended,

"Hey that hurts my feelings!" Shinpachi shouted.

"Wait, who's your husband?" Gin whispered to Kagura.

"Just say some random names! " Kagura replied.

"Then, Zura!"

"He's just interested in penguin looking ducks, or duck looking penguins!"

"Uhhhh…..Madao!"

"I don't want to live in card boards! And wear shades my whole life!"

"Yamazaki?"

"Just let him live with his Anpan!"

"Kondou!"

"I don't want to be a zoo keeper!"

"Hijikata!"

"I prefer ketchup!"

"Then…Hmmmmm" he looked up and remembered something,"Ah!" he exclaimed, then he quickly got something from his pocket. It was a picture of Sougo and Kagura ala Miyaka and Tamahome. He showed it to him.

BG music: anata ga te mitsumeteru psssst…that's from Slam D*** itooshi hito no tame ni ima na in da dekiru ka na

"The prince of Planet Sadist and first captain of Shinsengumi, SOUGO OKITA!" he shouted.

"Oi, where did you get that?" Kagura asked he was surprised and pissed with that picture.

"Some OkiKagu fans out there." he replied.

"Che…those pesky fans asking for fan services, don't fantasize too much…Oi, not everything can be as you pleased!" said she as while looking somewhere as if there was a camera there, then shouted"I don't want to be a masochist! Anyone but that guy!"

"Shhhh….we have no choice okay?" Gin told her.

"Hey, I liked that anime when I was a kid…The eternal love of Tamahome and Miyaka, then those scenes that are not for ki—De, that's just fan art! Show me a concrete proof! Introduce that guy to the Yato clan!"

"W-what are you say-?" Kagura shouted but Gin had covered her mouth.

"Yes, yes…we will do that." Gin told him.

He took off his hands from Kagura's mouth, "I'd rather die than ask a favor from that guy!" she shouted.

"Then, I will wait for him in our planet. Hah!" said he, *boing* "Good bye for now." Then went out of their house.

"Gin-san, I don't think Okita-san would easily agree with what you want him to do." Shinpachi interrupted.

"Eh? you're still here?" Gin said,

"Of course I am here! I've been here all the time" then he looked at Kagura, "So what will we do Kagura-chan?"

"I hate that sadist! He's my rival so there's no way I would ask him something like that!" she said

"Then what do you prefer, a ham or a sadist?" Gin asked.

"A….sadist." she said with low voice that obviously sounded she was shy to say it.

END OF THE CHAPTER


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

In the Shinsengumi head quarters….

They were all sitting, with Kondou and Hijikata, who was smoking, facing the Yorozuya, Yamazaki was also there sitting behind Kondou. it was like a serious conversation was happening. Everyone was silent just the noise of the cicadas can be heard.

"So, that's it." Gin concluded.

"'So that's it' my ass! You haven't explained anything!" Hijikata shouted, he was so angry that he stood up and even broke his cigarette "You just barged in here and said 'Hai…we'll be taking your Sadist captain to the planet of Yatos' " he even mimicked how Gin said it, while without noticing he was coming closer to Gin.

"There are things in this world that should just remain hidden, revealing it may be painful..Like that mayonnaise, you didn't know they use vomit to make it sour. They use blender until the food thrown up will never be noticed. But the factory was too poor that they had to use that blender over and over again." Gin explained.

Kagura, Shinpachi, Yamazaki and Kondou looked like they were about to throw up with what Gin was saying.

"SHUT UP! I know that! Mayorin's vomit are clean and delicious! And they don't use blender! I saw it on the commercial! they even have a river of mayonnaise there!"

"T-toushi" Kondou interrupted, "I thought you had given up on that fantasy, you already went to the factory, right?"

HIjikata pouted,"I know, I know. Cheee….."

"Heh *teasing smile*….The Demon Vice Commander had such fantasies? Pft! Yay! Yay! Let's go to mayo land! Let's meet Mayo there and play with the mayo people!"

"SHUT UP!" and he collared Gin, "At least I'm not some sugar freak!"

"What the hell? At least sugar is edible! It stimulates your brain and gives you energy when you are weak!"

"Gin-chan, you and that mayo freak really fit each other." Kagura interrupted with an innocent looking face.

"SHUT THE HELL UP! I don't want to be the subject for those fujoshi's forbidden fantasies!"*looks at the camera*" Oi, you fan girls! Stop writing or drawing doujins and fanfics about the two of us! Just make KetsunoXGin fanfics and doujins! Okay? "

"Gin-san, we're getting off the topic." Shinpachi reminded him.

Then he calmed down and sat again, *ehem* "Where were we?"

Hijikata has also calmed down already, he lit up another cigarette, and blew a smoke form it, "You should at least state a reason why you are going to take him away."

"Well, it's for this little girl's sake. She's in trouble and only Souichirou-"

"Gin-san, it's Sougo." Shinpachi told him.

"Only that Sadist can save her."

"Ojou-chan, let us hear your problem." Kondou said.

She was fidgety, she couldn't look straight in anyone's eyes, "My father arranged an engagement that even I didn't know of, for me and I don't know that guy…..So….s-so…I-i-I want him to pretend as my h-h-h-h-h-husband."

Hijikata grinned, "Well, we can't decide for him, maybe you should personally ask him."

"Where is he?" Kagura asked.

"In his room." Zaki interrupted.

"Then I'll go there alone."

"Ohhh?" all of them were surprised with what she just said, coz they're arch rivals it's normal if she said something hateful about Sougo.

And so, Kagura stood up and started walking towards the room of Sougo.

"Men, it's so nice to be young." Hijikata said.

The formed a small circle, "Oi, what if something happened between the two of them in that room?" Gin suddenly asked.

*shock!* *lightning strike*

Kagura had already entered his room. She was surprised how clean it was compared to her room (or rather cabinet). She slowly went inside the room to search easily. She finally saw him; he was lying on his futon wearing his eye mask and with his bazooka near him. He looked like a child who couldn't even hurt a bug. He was sleeping deeply, so Kagura sat beside his futon. He silently watched him and examined him.

Heh….i didn't know he could look this cute….

*poke* *poke* she started poking his cheeks, it felt so soft and smooth like a baby's.

"Oi sadist, wake up!" she whispered.

The same stance as a while ago, no reaction at all.

*poke poke poke* "Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

She tried repeating and repeating it again, but he really wouldn't move an inch and that triggered Kagura's anger, she went closer to his ears and started whispering, "O-KI-RO! (WA-K-E UP!) " she emphasized every syllable she just said.

"Wake up you sad-!"

But Sougo had already grabbed her arm, and before she knew it she was already facing him. She was lying beside Sougo, his grip was too firm so she couldn't escape. Their faces were too close that they would almost kiss. She could even feel his breath, and for some reason she suddenly locked her vision on his lips as if there's some weird impulse that made her crave for them. Every breath he took, she would crave for it more. She just closed her eyes coz she couldn't take the scenery that she's seeing.

"Oh, China."

He had woken up; she opened her eyes and saw his eye mask was already on top of his head. It was not covering his eyes anymore.

Suddenly, she realized that she was in an embarrassing situation and with her reflexes; she had already knocked him down. She held his waist and bent her back so that his head would hit the floor in a very painful manner.

Back to the adults….

They were still forming a circle, like they were having a baseball strategy meeting.

"Oi, oi they're taking too long. You don't think they….." Gin said, worried with the situation.

"No, no, no, no." Shinpachi rapidly say like he was already rapping accompanied by shaking his hand in a rapid motion, "That's tooooo impossible, Kagura would not go ahead of me. hahahaha. "

"But this is Sougo we're talking about, he's a sadist. Sadists are aggressive." Hijikata said.

"Maa, maa…you worry too hard. They're both still kids, they wouldn't do indecent things that they still have no knowledge of."

"But Kagura's been watching lots of programs in tv these days, one time I caught her watching Junj** Roman****. " Gin said.

"Ie, Gin-san that's on a different level." -Shinpachi

"But I don't think Okita-san would do that, he wouldn't even look at Kagura-san as a girl." –zaki

"He may be lolicon. It has been a fad these days." –Gin

"Gin-chan! Shinpachi!" Kagura shouted.

They all looked at her; she was panting, she couldn't catch her breath she was even using her shoulders to breath; she was sweating so hard even her clothes had gone wet; her face looked so flushed, her clothes were loosen up a bit; her hair was disheveled, one of her whatchacall it is almost falling down.

(KAGURA!) *lightning strike* *thunder* *SHOCKED* they all thought.

"Uhhh…." Gin started, his voice was already shaking, "K-k-kagura-chan? What happened to you?"

*deep breath*

She couldn't utter a word.

"K-k-kagura-chan, did you run away from him?" Shinpachi asked.

"Did he do something to you? That you looked like that?" –Zaki

"Ojou-chan, please forgive him! He was just taken in by the temptation! He didn't know what he was doing!" –Kondou

"Don't worry, the Shinsengumi will take responsibility if ever something happens." –Hijikata

*deep breath* *gulp* "Arrre? What are you talking about?" Kagura asked them, dumbfounded by their weird behaviors.

And that's when they saw her holding something, it was Sougo. She held him like some doll she was playing with and got bored already. And on her other hand was a big bag; even the bazooka can be seen in it.

"Let's get going, I have already packed his things." Kagura said.

She started walking, and when she passed by Hijikata, a look of pity was given to him, and uttered, "It's a miracle that you are still alive today, I won't be surprised if you'll be killed one of these days."

"Huh?" Hijikata said, confused with her.

Flashback

Kagura just let Sougo lay down on his futon, while she was packing his things. She hurriedly dug up his closet to get clothes.

"Even his boxers has 'S' on it." she said.

And while on it, she saw a medium sized dubious looking box, when she opened it, a note was there saying, "Plans for my dream to come true", she tried reading what's inside it and…..(sound effects: a girl's screeching scream BG: bone denoting death) the real identity of that box was, plans for Hijikata's assassination. She tried searching in other cabinets and saw lots of deadly weapons, voodoo dolls, torn Hijikata's picture, lots of bottles of mayonnaise, tobacco sauce and many more nightmarish things.

End of flashback


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay! Due to reviewer's demand….we had an urge to update the next chapter as early as we can…Good thing my buddy (Jure-chan) Rhaide was in full spirit in writing this..haha…Together with my ideas, we combined our powers in creating the next chapter…Hope you like this!Enjoy…**

**-Souichirou-chan**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Gintama**

Sougo was having his nightmares, he was dreaming about being abducted in his weakest state by his arch rival, Kagura together with Gin and Shinpachi but with the consent of his superiors, then brought to a space ship being tied up and tortured to take a trip on the Planet of Yato. Yeah, it was all a dream, just a dream that when he wakes up he would just be lying comfortably on his futon and continue with his normal life of enjoying the endless attempts of killing Hijikata.

He opened his eyes….

And the first thing he saw was a guy with a mustache wearing having a pale complexion, wearing a thick cloak and a hat covering his baldness. That guy was holding his chin, like thinking about something or examining him. He was so close to his face. Just how unpleasant it is for him to see an old man with "thinning" hair (or so he says) the moment he woke up.

"Pappy, here's my husband." Kagura said, who was lifting Sougo by holding him on his armpits like a stray cat.

"Hmmmm…..He looks familiar." The guy said.

Sadly, reality…is not as kind as that. What you see, is what you have to believe.

_How the hell did I end up here? _Is what he was thinking that time. Little by little, fragments of memories began to come to his mind.

Finally, Sougo remembered everything.

Flashback…

With the help of Sakamoto, the Yorozuya were able to borrow a space ship and go to the Planet of Yato, and just as they promised, they would present Kagura's so-called husband to introduce him to the Yato clan. All throughout the travel, Sougo was asleep coz whenever he would be waking up or just open his eyes, they (Kagura and Gin) would gang him up and do whatever it is needed to put him into a deep, deep sleep (just use your imagination for the methods they were doing, note: sadistic imagination). His bazooka was confiscated by Gin, afraid of what punishment awaits them if that sadist has it. They arrived in their destination.

"Oi sadist!" *SLAP SLAP SLAP* she did it on the both sides of his cheeks with her Yato strength, it almost deteriorated his face, "Gin-chan! The sadist is not waking up! He may be dead."

"Gin-san, just what did you do to Okita-san?" Shinpachi asked, he saw Gin holding something that he was about to throw, bottles of empty sleeping pills."GIN-SAN! What the hell is that?"

Gin faced him with fear on his face, "I-i-it can't be helped, he's a sadist who knows what will he do to us. I just let him rest peacefully for a long time. Ahahahaha…*forced laugh*"

"Just how long is that rest you're talking about? GIN-SAN! What will we do if something happen to Okita-san? *points Sougo*just how will we explain it to the Shinsengumi? He would really REST IN PEACE at this rate!"

"Maa, maa he's a sadist. Sadists have long lives."

"Don't worry sadist! I will help you! I saw this on the tv last time. Sadaharu! Give him mouth to mouth!" Kagura ordered.

And so her loyal dog obeyed her and gave him a mouth to mouth, or more like mouth to head.

"KAGURA! You just made it worse!" Shinpachi shouted panicking already.

"Oi sadist, you alive already? " Kagura asked to Sougo even if it was too obvious how grave his situation was, "Not yet?" Kagura assumed.

Then she told Sadaharu to stop biting his hea- errr, that mouth to mouth she's saying. Finally, Sougo's face can be seen already and surprisingly, he opened his eyes.

"C-c-china?" he spoke with trembling voice.

"Oh! You're awake? Oi sadist, listen well… You will pretend to be my husband, okay? Just until Pappy agrees to stop that engagement, okay? Okay?" Kagura said, but Sougo was already too weak that he was alternatively closing and opening his eyes.

*slap slap slap slap* *punch in the stomach* she did it in rapid succession, while having an innocent face ignoring the wickedness she's doing to him "Oi, wake up! You are a chef , okay? And Gin's your dad, we live together in Yorozuya. Understand?" *shake shake shake*

No response at all, so she continuously shake him while holding his collar, "Oi, you understand, sadist?"

And so, treasuring his life, even at a snail's pace he began raising his right hand. It was trembling like hell, but with all his strength, he moved up his 3 fingers with his thumb and index forming a circle, which gestures "okay." And shortly after that, his gathered strength was gone. He lost consciousness again.

"Kagura, Let's hurry!" Gin shouted.

"What about this?" Kagura asked, pointing the lifeless Sougo.

"Just carry him!"

She carried him on her shoulders, just like a sack of rice or being abducted.

Shinpachi just raised the middle of his glasses, "Okita-san's sadistic image will deteriorate just because of this fanfic."

End of flashback

And, to the present…

_Next on my list would be danna after I kill that mayo freak, _Sougo thought.

"HAH!" *boing* "He doesn't even pass the look of a homo side character, what more of a leading man?" Yuuichi said who was beside Umibouzu._  
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"Ohhhhh…." Said Sougo, then he faced Kagura, "Could this *points Yuuichi* guy looking ham be that fiancé you're talking about?" he was just whispering.

"Eh? you were alive?" Kagura said,

"Don't worry, I wouldn't die until Hijikata-san's alive. so, he's your fiancé?"

"Yes."

He grinned, "Hah…Let me ride on your act." Said he, and after that, it was as if a different aura came to Sougo, he smiled at her and said, "Aren't you getting tired already, Kagura?"

it shocked them all, to think that Sougo never called her by her real name.

"Oi, Shinpachi! Is this for real? That sadist calling Kagura, Kagura? " Gin whispered to Shin, "Don't tell me Gintama would become a shoujo anime already?"

"I-i-i-impossible, even if those two have high ratings for their love team, C'mon Gin-san don't overact things. it's not like love would even exist on those two…" Shinpachi said.

But Kagura was blushing.

*jawdrop* -Shinpachi and Gin

"W-what are you saying Sadist!" Kagura said,

"You can let me go already." he said and she followed him.

Then he bowed in front of Umibouzo as a sign of respect, "Pleasure to meet you Otou-sama, I am Soug—Souichirou Okita, your daughter's husband."

"SHINPACHI! WHO THE HELL IS THAT GUY? Oi! Is this really the end of Gintama? Will it really become a heart fluttering, heart aching anime?" Gin said.

"C-c-c-calm down Gin!" Shinpachi replied with trembling fingers, "That's not Okita-san! That's a fictional character based on Sougo Okita created from the minds of this fanfic's authors!"

But it's the real Sougo Okita.

"Tell me honestly, how far have you gone with my daughter?" Umibouzu asked with fearful eyes that has an intent of killing Sougo, while pointing his umbrella on him.

"Don't worry Sir, I treasure your daughter like how I treasure my tobasc- life. We're still not in the right age to reach that level." Sougo replied.

"Sadist! What the hell are you saying?"

"Shhhh….I am supposed to be your husband, right? so I have to act like one." Sougo whispered to her.

"HAH! I will not fall for that! I know you've done it, you're married, right? and you're living together, right? I bet you were never able to control your hormones!" Yuuichi interrupted.

*points her umbrella*emitting some fearful, dark aura "Oi, you ham. If you still want to be a part of this fanfic, do your part as an extra, or else you will be our food for Christmas." Kagura threatened Yuuichi.

*raises his hands to surrender* he was almost crying in fear,"B-but I am a main character."

*yakuza like* she was already holding his collar,"Huh! you saying something?"

"No ma'am."

*spits* "Che."

And so, he just quietly stood there. Good thing Umibouzu was busy with Sougo that he didn't notice what wickedness her daughter was doing.

"Then how did the two of you meet each other?" Umibouzu asked them.

"Ehhhh….Let's see….She was a criminal coz she's an illegal alien so I arrested h-"

"Oi! You're supposed to be a chef!" Kagura told him

"Why a chef? Do you want me to be Cook*** Mas*** B*y? "

"Pappy will find out if he knew that you are from Shinsengumi!"

"Fine, fine."

"Wait…could you be that boy from Shinsengumi?" Umibouzu asked who was already near Sougo's face, well he was wearing shades and a cap so it was kinda hard to see his face.

"No Sir, I am a chef and I met this girl in Pantasia." Sougo replied.

"Oi! That's from Yakita** Jap**! And that's not a chef. He's a baker!" Kagura said.

"But I prefer Azuma Kazuma than Cooking Master Boy. " then he faced Umibouzu again, "I fill in your daughter's endless stomach with my cooking, Don't worry we are able to live peacefully like normal couples."

*look up* *look down*" You sure you're not that boy?" Umibouzu asked, "Then, how did you propose to my daughter?"

"Uhhhh…I just gave her a leash and she agreed to be my loyal pet." Sougo answered.

"That's not proposing! Tsk tsk, you really don't know anything about these things, proposing is about giving money and material things to your fiancé! That's what Gin-chan told me, when you get married, you should have money first before you agree!"

"Don't believe in everything that Gin-chan of yours say, you would become a useless person if you follow him. Proposing is all about getting the girl's obedience to follow you."

"Oi! I will never be a masochist just because of you!"

Umibouzu was already starting to doubt the two, "Are you sure you are married?"

"Of course we are!" they both shouted.

"Then prove it to me." he challenged the two.

"Like?" they both asked.

"Saying…"*change outfit; sailor uniform* (BG: sparkly and flowery just like in shoujo animes) *with his hands cutely covering his mouth* "Su-su-suki desu…*beautiful eyes* *blushing*"

"EH?SHINPACHI! Did that baldie just do that? Did he just try to be a cute young maiden on the spring of her youth?" Gin asked.

"G-gin-san,"said he, then raised his hand as if he doesn't want to hear it." please don't ask me, I just want to vomit." Shinpachi replied, with his hand holding his mouth.

*holds his mouth*"I think I also want to vomit."

*vomitting*

Back to Sougo and Kagura…

"Oi China, I think I want to take out everything I've eaten a while ago." Sougo said.

"* shocked*Pappy! H-h-h….*pointing her father* How could you change clothes so easily?" Kagura said.

"That's not the point here!" Sougo shouted.

"Ehhh….but it would be great if I can change clothes even if I don't get nude."

*Ehe-ehem* He changed back to his usual clothes, "If you are able to say it in front of me then I would accept you."

"Do we also have to make flowers appear in our back ground? " Sougo asked.

"Sadist, I'm not feeling well. I just absorbed what my Pappy did." Kagura said with paler complexion and weak looking face, and without a word she started vomiting.

There were lots of vomit, she even vomited on Sougo and her father. She just continued releasing what her mouth was hiding inside. It was like waterfalls that just continued to fall.

*bwehhh*"Now I also want to vomit." Sougo said.

Oi! The mosaics ! the mosaics! *patching up* (BG: a peaceful garden with a butterfly ) Please wait a moment.

Evening came…..

After those pools of vomits, Sougo just carried Kagura in his back to their room. The two of them were lying on the same bed, Kagura was sound asleep while Sougo just couldn't stop smiling by looking at her sleeping face.

_Control your hormones. Control. Control. Or else I will be killed by this girl's father. And the authors will get mad at me if this fanfic turns into rated 18._

He remembered something.

_Flashback…_

_When Sougo carried Kagura in their room, Umibouzu was also there. _

"_I'm entrusting her to you, kid. I may not know you well but having Kagura choose you means I can believe in you. I will tell Yuuichi to stop the engagement for the both of please, take care of her." Umibouzu told him._

"_That's good to hear, Otou-sama." Sougo replied._

"_Do you really love her?"_

_He just grinned, "Of course."_

_End of flashback.._

"Hoo…it's cold." He said, then took away the blanket from Kagura.

But she took it back.

And he took it away.

And so, it resulted to endless grabbing of the blanket. There was only one in that room, even though they were two there, though it can fit the two of them, they are both greedy and just wants to have the blanket by themselves.

Kagura got irritated so she stood up already and shouted, "Oi this is my house you sadist! So give me that blanket!" she even pointed her umbrella to him.

Sougo also stood up, while pointing his bazooka on Kagura, "I don't care! I am already cold so I will have this!"

"Hah! Then the first one to pull the trigger will get that blanket!"

He smirked, _I know. _He held her umbrella while putting down his bazooka, "Maa, maa let's not cause bloodsheds. So, how about this? We continue what we didn't finish a while ago?"

"Huh?" she asked.

"What your father wanted us to do to prove that we're married."

"Hah! Fine by me! "

And so, they both sat on their knees while on their bed. They were facing each other.

"Su-su—SUKONBU SUKI!" Kagura shouted.

"Hah! I know you couldn't do it!" Sougo teased Kagura.

"Hah! Then try it yourself! And make flowers appear!"

"Su….ki…SUKIYAKI!"

"HAHAHAHAHA! Hoora, now who's the coward?" then she continued, "Su-su-su-SUTEKI UNKO! (Wonderful dump)"

"What? Gonna dump, huh? can't control your bowels?"

"I'm not like Gori!"

"I'm telling you, I'm gonna win this." Said Sougo, then he started making flowers appear in his BG,"SUPERMAN!" and even raised his hand.

"What? Sadists can't even say good words? Or don't tell me that you're a pure and innocent guy that would say those words to the one you love? Or is it that you are embarrassed? Ohhh…the First Captain of Shinsengumi is being shy? HAHAHAHAHA…."

And without a word, he pointed his bazooka on Kagura.

"Hah! We should've settled it by this from the beginning!" she picked up her umbrella and aimed it to him, "Bring it on!"

Kagura readied her foot and kicked him, but he just dodged by rolling on the bed. She got pissed and used her right hand to punch him heavily, but then again he dodged. She was above Sougo, giving him consecutive punches but he just evades every attack given to him.

"Haha! Now I got you! " and with all her strength, she gave her supposed to be final punch to the sadist.

But he just caught her fist, she used her other hand to strike an attack to him, again he caught it.

"Konno yaro!" she shouted, she gathered strength to her head, and so she swung her head towards him,

*headbuuuutt-*

*smirk*

"Aishiteru, Kagura." he uttered.

*Doki!*

With that phrase, she stopped her attack. She was just frozen with her eyes widening.

_Eh? what's with that doki sound? Is this a shoujo anime? was I teleported to a shoujo anime? and what's with the flowers and sparkles that appeared in that sadist? _

He let go of her hands, and sat down on the bed.

"I told you I would win this match." He said, smiling for his victory, then he got his prize, the blanket, "So this belongs to me."

Kagura started blushing extremely. Her cheeks were red, and it felt so warm even with the coldness in that room. Her heart was beating so fast, and it was like there's a sensation in her body that eases her.

"Good night, China." He said and just lay down, with the blanket all over him.

She had no choice, she just copied the sadist and lay down on the bed facing the opposite direction of him. With the same condition as a while ago, she couldn't breathe well being too close with Sougo.

"China, look here." Sougo said.

"Heh?" and she faced him

He shared his blanket with Kagura. She reflexively moved closer to Sougo, that they could feel each other's warmth.

"D-don't misunderstand me, the blanket was just too small for us." Kagura explained.

"Becoming a tsundere are we? Heh...You can't China, even if your voice actress is the queen of tsunderes, that would be too out of your character."

(Rie Kugumiya is her voice actress same with Shana, Taiga, Luise and Nagi.)

"Urusai! Urusai! Urusai!"


	4. Chapter 4

Osu! Rhaide-chan here, first, *bows* I'm soooo sorry for slow updates! I'm always busy with my studies, from Monday-Saturday morning til evening, so I don't have enough time to write. Hmmmm….Should I already quit nursing? I think the fastest update I could give you is weekly. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

To all your reviews and to the readers, THANK YOU SOOO MUCH! It made me so happy that I almost cried. Seriously it's the first time that people were waiting for the next chapter of something I wrote so I feel kinda pressured.

By the way, I wanted to add this in Chapter 3 but Souichirou-chan had already published it, so maybe I should just put it here…(this is the part when Kagura was trying to wake up Sougo then he pitifully agreed to Kagura)

"_Sadist?" Kagura shook him, "Sadist?"(sad music started playing)_

_But he was not moving at all, tears bagan coming out from her eyes ,"Sou….sou…..SOUICHIROOOOO!"_

_(sad music paused)_

_*wakes up* "Sougo desu." *sleeps again*_

_(Sad music continued playing)_

_*stops* "Ah. Gin what do I do with this?"_

"_Just carry him!"_

Morning came….

It was just a normal morning; rains are still pouring endlessly, some were already awake but some were still sleeping, some have already started eating breakfast, and some are still doing their daily morning routine, yes…it was perfectly normal, just that…

There was a helicopter flying near Kagura and Sougo's room.

"KAGURA AND SOUICHIROU! I challenged you for a match!" the fat girl shouted, who had a mega phone on her hand while holding the ladder hanging on the helicopter.

It was too big for that house, that it almost lifted it with the strength of the wind produced by its elisi, and to think it was just about 3 meters above the ground because it can't life the girl higher than that.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"the girl continued, "If you are able to passed the 3 obstacles we give you, we will let you go..But if not, you will stay heeeer-"

*snore* *snore*

With that loud noise, Kagura and Sougo remained asleep. It didn't affect them even just a bit, they were still lying on their beds with annoying bubble in their noses and flowing rotten saliva in their mouths.

"What the-? WAAAAAAKE UP! And listen to what I'm saying! Look! I even prepared a cool entrance just to scare the two of you and show you who's the main character here! " the girl shouted who increased the volume of her mega phones.

She tried getting nearer the window of their room, "Waaaaake uuuuuu-ah?"

A bazooka and an umbrella were aimed to her face, and….BANG!

They just shot her continuously without thinking of the surroundings that they are destroying along with her.

"You're ruining my image heeeeere!" she shouted as the helicopter began to be destroyed.

"Oi Kagura, what was that?" Gin asked who barged into Kagura and Sougo's room due to the commotion.

"_T-t-that voice! That hair! C-could it be?" _*zooms in to Gin*_"M-my…_*sparkle*_ fated one!"_

*chills*" Oi, I think I just heard a disgusting monologue coming from that helicopter?" Gin said.

"_Ahhh…It felt like it was just yesterday when I first saw him…."_

Gin rushed to the window which was beside the bed, and looked outside, "Eh? Was it her? Did that monologue come from her? Oi author *looks at the camera*! Are you seriously destructing my main character position in this anime? Oi oi, listen to me! Don't get too full of yours-"

BOOM! And so, the helicopter exploded.

"_Yes, it was our fated meeting."_

_Flashback…_

_It was the time when Kagura, Sougo and Umibouzu together with the extra, Yuuchi, were busy talking with each other._

"_Blah, blah, blah! What the hell are they talking about? I'm the main character in this anime,where's my part?" Gin complained, who was with Shinpachi and they were behind those people who were busy talking._

"_Gin-san, you have to wait for your turn, and besides this is an OkiKagu fanfic it's normal for them to have more scenes than us." Shinpachi said to comfort Gin._

"_Shut up Megane! Just because you're used to be ignored with your lame character setting, I'm not in the same level as you!"_

"_I didn't want this character setting! And if you've got something to complain, tell that to the authors!"_

"_Hai, hai..I know, I know." Then he started picking his ear._

_*a new character appeared!* Yuuichi's older sister, Yachiko._

_She roamed her eyes to the place and saw Kagura,"Hah, is that the fiancé Yuuichi's been talking about? I'm a lot cuter than her, I even look more significant than her." then he looked at the back._

_*Gin picking his ears with lazy eyes*_

_Then a wind blew towards her, "W-what's with this creature? *zooming into Gin* That naturally permed white hair that looked like the clouds in the sky…..those eyes with the ideal horizontal eyelids,…..and t-that finger…*Gin takes out something from his ear*…I-I want to be picked by that finger!"_

_*Umibouzu's nauseating pose*_

"_EH?SHINPACHI! Did that baldie just do that? Did he just try to be a cute young maiden on the spring of her youth?" Gin asked._

"_G-gin-san,"said he, then raised his hand as if he doesn't want to hear it." please don't ask me, I just want to vomit." Shinpachi replied, with his hand holding his mouth. _

_*holds his mouth*"I think I also want to vomit."_

_*vomitting*_

"_Ahhhh..." the girl said dreamily, *zooming into Gin*, everything in her eyes were in slow motion, Gin's BG was so sparkly and colorful like it was the noblest thing he was doing. " W-what slimy vomit he has! And how shimmering it looks that it dazzled me! *vomit landing on the ground*My….What perfect angle his vomit landed! "_

_*mosaics shown*_

"_I-I didn't know he could produce mosaics! Ahhhh…This must be…..LOVE." she said, with a very big thumping heart (and of course it's sparkling) shown in her BG._

_End of flashback_

To the present…

Gin, Kagura and Sougo just stood there while the helicopter exploded.

"Oi, she's dead right? she died in that explosion? " Gin shouted who was panicking while scratching his hair "She was just some useless character who would appear in this scene only, right?"

Sougo and Kagura just pointed the door of their room, Gin followed the direction of their fingers.

"HAHAHAHA! I'm not yet dead!" Yachiko boasted while still carrying her mega phones.

Gin just froze with disgusted look in his face.

"Kagura and Souichirou, if you don't accept my challenge then you are automatically defeated and you will be forced to stay here forever! " *looks at Gin* _F-forever? I will be with this guy forever? _(Imagining: Gin and Yachiko running to a grassy field while laughing stupidly) _kyaaaah! Am I too obvious already? No can do, I must hide it from everyone._

*black empty eyes with unpleasant look* "Kagura." Gin held her shoulder, she faced him, "I will buy you a year…NO, a life time worth of sukonbu." Then he looked at Sougo and grasped his shoulder, "Souichiro"

Then Sougo faced him, "Sougo desu."

"Sachiko-kun, when we come back to Earth, we will kill Hijikata."

After that, he clutched on their shoulders firmly and moved closer to their faces, " Accept and win those matches. I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME FROM THIS HAM."

"Gin-chan, I want different flavors of sukonbu." Kagura replied.

"Danna, torture him first before killing him." Sougo answered.

"I get it, I get it. *forced laugh* Hahahaha….you agree right?" he started shaking the two desperately, "It's a deal, okay? You would do it, okay? Hahaha….*trembling voice*Don't worry Gin-chan will help you with all my heart. Hahaha."

"HAM! *pointing Yachiko* We accept your challenge!" Sougo and Kagura shouted with synchronization.

"Hah! Then the first contest would be….Cooking contest! You're a chef, right? Then this would be easy for you." Yachiko replied.

"Bring it on!" Sougo shouted.

"Then I will be waiting outside our family's residence." Yachiko said and left the room.

"Oi sadist, you sure about this?"Kagura asked,

"Don't worry, I always cook for Hijikata." Sougo replied.

"Souichirou-kun?"Gin asked in a sweet but worried tone, "That cooking you're saying, could it be like, having poison in it?"

"No."

Gin sighed in relief, "Well, you still have kindness in y-"

"Just potions with curses, then I would mix it in Hijikata's bottles of mayonnaise." He replied with the same innocent look in his face.

*frozen* _May Hijikata's soul rest in peace, in advance._

And so, to the contest….

The stage was huge, with a very big flat screen tv on the middle with the participants on both sides. Each has their own kitchen like setting with ingredients on the table. There were even cameramen and all those stuffs around them. A lot of people also came to watch them. The host was in the center of the stage.

"Good morning everyone!" the host cheerfully shouted, "Welcome to the First obstacle, the cooking contest!"

*crowd cheering* *whistle*

"Now, let me introduce our participants. On the right corner…." Right after he said that, a spot light lit on that area, "Our very own, Yuuichi-sama and Yachiko-sama."

*peeeweeeet!* *cheering* Yuuichia nd Yachiko just stood there full of confidence, while waving to the crowd

"Go Waka! Go Oujo! " one of the crowd shouted

"Beat the crap out of them!" another one shouted.

"Show them the wrath of hams!" extra 3 added.

"Hey who said that?" Yuuichi angrily asked.

"We love ham the most!" extra 4 said.

"Yeah!" it was extra 5

"Go haaam! Go haaaam!"

The crowd just continued with that cheer.

"And now, on the left corner…*spot light*"

BOOOOOOOO!

Almost everyone in the crowd was on Yuuichi's side so they just kept on jeering the two.

"You will never defeat our Waka and Oujo!" then extra 6

"You suck!" and extra 7

"Loosers!" and extra 8

BANG! BANG BANG BANG BANG!

A sudden rain of bullets hit the ground. It was Kagura who just took out her umbrella, good thing it didn't hit any person in the crowd.

*yakuza like* "What were you saying? Huh? huh?" she asked while emitting a strong and fearful aura with Sougo behind her carrying his bazooka and ready to fire it anytime.

*silence*

"Y-YAY!" then extra 9

"W-Whoooo! You're the best!" then extra 10

"You can do it!" then extra 11

"*sweat drop* T-the greatest, strongest and the invincible duo, Kagura and Souichirou!" the host said.

*peeeeeweeeet!* *crowd cheering*

Then Sougo took out a flag, with words saying 'Pantasia'. He was even wearing the Pantasia stood up proudly like he's boasting that flag.

A narrator suddenly talked…

_There's English bread, german bread, and French bread but Japan's bread…._

"Who the hell was that?" Kagura angrily asked who looked around while their BG was changing.

_Japan doesn't that _case_, there's no choice but to create it….. _

"Oi, was that the irritating narrator from Yakit*** Jap**?"

_this story is serious…._

"Oi! Don't take over someone else's fanfic!"

_Biographical ballad of a young boy who possesses solar hands…Souichiro Okita…_*zooms in to his hand which was shining*

"That's Azuma Kazuma, right? "

_who will create Japanese bread by and for Japan-_

BAAAAM!

Kagura kicked the annoying BG of Sougo, *looks at the camera*"Oi, you were the one talking right? you were that annoying narrator, right? Che. This guy just keeps repeating the plot in every episode of Yakit*** Jap**, it's too irritating. Oi! Get the hell out of here and go back to your anime!"

_Shut up! It's not like I want to repeat it! Those were the lines that they gave me! che. Be grateful that I became a guest here._

And so, the annoying narrator walked out while bringing those BG's used a while ago. Onto the real story….

"Sadist! Get serious! This is not a baking contest it's a COOKING contest, okay?" Kagura shouted at Sougo.

"Hai, hai….I get it." (change outfit: *TANAAAAN!*Cooking Master Boy)

"That Cooking Master Boy again? As if someone remembers that old anime already." Kagura said.

Sougo stood in the middle of the stage. He held his right arm, everyone was looking at him. Then after a while, he took off a piece of cloth from that arm he was holding and it flew to the air revealing what was hidden there.

A big 'S' tattoo.

*shocked*

"C-could it be-?" then extra 12

"H-he's-!" and extra 13

"That S shape snake in his arm? He's-" extra 14

It was actually a dragon.

"THE LONG LOST PRINCE OF PLANET SADIST!" everyone said, then bowed (together with the host) in front of Sougo.

"It really existed?" Kagura exclaimed.

*evil smirk*" Souichirou Okita commands you *shows Hijikata's picture*, kill this guy!" then a some kinda bird flew from his eyes to the crowd's.

"Yes! Your Highness!"

Sougo started laughing, while elegantly holding his whole face with his right hand which was resting on his left hand, "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

*anger mark *Kagura walked slowly towards Sougo.

"HAHAHA-!"

A kick has landed on his stomach. It was too strong that he collapsed. Kagura just dragged him like he was some mop on the floor.

*droopy eyes*"Get serious, you author, you just write and write without going to the real story. Che. Hopeless."

T-then, on to the real story….

After presenting the participants, they just stand by on their own posts.

"Now, let's introduce the judges!" the host said, "First! The richest, most influential and most famous person in the Yato Clan…*spot light*Mr. Yahiro! Let's give him a round of applause!"

*crowd cheering*

He just waved and sat on the judge's chair.

"Next comes the Mightiest warrior of the Yato Clan , the guy with the greatest thinning of hair! Umibouzu!"

He glared to the host that it gave him chills on the back and sat on his seat.

"And the last one is…"

Then someone came to the stage and whispered to the host.

"Ah….Eh…..The last judge had some circumstances so he couldn't go here. So I guess that's i-"

"WAIT!" "WAIT!"

_BG music: Akaku akaku akaku yurette yume no yume no_

Roses began to fall down from above which revealed the owner of those voices. Everyone looked back, and there they saw two annoying girly guys that sparkled who looked obviously for shounen ai stories, Kuran Kaname and Zero Kiryuu.

"We will be the judges." Kaname said.

"Just leave it to us." Zero added.

*author appeared and threw her working table on them*

"Hey you're the one who wanted this!" Kaname complained.

"Just to tell you, I hate Vamp*** Kni***!" *dark and evil aura spreading*

*gets back to her working place*

They were kicked out from that place, and the real judge came.

"I will be the judge!"

It was too loud that everyone's attention was focused on him. It was a guy with silver and elegant mask wearing white coat. He also had a long blond hair.

"I-is it okay?" the host asked the other judges and they all agreed., "T-then! Our last judge, Meister Kirisaki!"

And he just sat down on his seat.

"Now, let's go on to the contest!" the host said, "Here are the rules!"

The rules appeared to the big tv.

"No specific dish is given for the participants to cook, so it's all on you to decide your dish! Then, you will only be given an hour to finish cooking, if you go beyond that, you're disqualified! The ingredients to be used depend on you, so if you have some ingredient hidden there, you can use it freely! Understand?"

"Yes." All the participants answered in chorus.

"Now then, on my count, we will start…3…2…..1! Gooooo shooooot!"

"Psssst…that's from Beybl***." One of the staff whispered on him.

"Ready…..GO!"

**Gin: hey what's with this chapter? Where'd the story go, huh?**

**Rhaide: *BOWS* I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. **

**Shinpachi: I didn't even appear in this chapter.**

**Rhai: nah, expect that more to happen. *droopy eyes***

**Shin: Hey just because you were too caught up with your parodies you already forgot me?**

**Rhai: Che. I know, I know. So to all the readers, please forgive I promise not to make Souichirou-chan's brilliant ideas go to waste!**

**Zura: *sulking in the corner* I was on standby the whole time. *sob sob***

**Elizabeth: *placard says: Give us EXPOSURE!***

To all readers…..this is not the end of this chapter!…haha..

Souchirou-chan add a little skit for this Chap..yah…

Hope you like it…

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**EXTRA SKIT: Gintama's *what the heck!* Loveteams…**

Whatta day…Even the writer of this skit was pretty sure that all male characters of Gintama are on badmood today..Yes…How can it be?

*Flashback*

All of the male characters of Gintama were in a huge room. They seem have their *corporate meeting*..

"Attention everyone!" Gin said, as he grabbed the microphone from Shinpachi…"Since I'm the protagonist of this series, I was assigned to announced this important message from the director."

"And how important was that huh…?" Hijikita mumbled while lighting his cigarette..

"As important as your Mayo ass!" Gin replied.

"Hey! Have some respect to the great Mayorin!"

Gin just ignored the popping head of Hijikata and continue his speech..

"Apparently, I had received this letter from a pathetic guy who still haven't have a decent job..Unfortunately, he doesn't managed to be here.

**BG: Madao Hasegawa**

'Okay…enough with that background…the sunglasses man may be more depressed…"Gin added.

"Maa..maaa…Just tell the message…I'm a busy person, can't you see?" Now Sougo is already putting his eyemask for his another *siesta time*

"What if I sulk you to death? Just shut your mouth, sadist kid.."

"I'm not a kid…I'm 18"

"I bet you're only 16.." the voice of Zura was heard from nowhere..

*preparing a launch from his bazooka* "Now I'm really busy.."

"STOP THAT NONSENSE DIALOGUES! Gin, just ignore this stupid jerks!" Megane said.

"We are assigned to work on a host club." Gin said directly.

….

…

…

…

"Eh?" All of them have the same reaction.

"It was written here that we should work as a host for the female characters here in Gintama..They will be the one to choose which of us will be their host…yeah..kinda simple..I think we can…..WAIT ! female characters? No!"

BG: Saachan Sarutobi in her masochistic mode.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

So it happens just like that….

TO BE CONTINUED

-000000000000-000000000000

Sorry if we really like a cliffhanger..haha..don't worry…we will update it as soon as we can..haha…also Rhaide and I wants to hear your comments about our fic so reviews are highly appreciated…Arigatou..desu..

-Souichirou-chan


	5. Chapter 5

Kyaaaah! I already bought the wig I've been earning for so long! and I've already talked with the seamstress about my costume! Can't wait to see it! *dreamy and drooling*

Ehemm…..Uhhhh…..going to the real topic, I'm so sorry for the suuuper late update, coz seriously I got depressed with that negative review so I escaped reality by reading a Shoujo manga (Btw, its title is Charming Junkie so if you love shoujo mangas try reading it, it's seriously good makes you go 'KYAH KYAH'.). But well, I know that Chapter 4 is a real mess up that I'm afraid to read it again and it's my fault to waste Souchan's ideas. I'll make up for it this chapter! (I guess?)

"Ready….GO!"

As the host said that, both sides had already started their picked dishes. Everyone in the audience just watched their competition progress while the participants just continued and focused on what they were doing. They both looked so serious.

**Kagura and Sougo's side….**

Sougo was wearing a black cloak while holding a book; the atmosphere seems to be dark with lightning strikes, dark clouds, bats, crows and all those stuffs like it unleashes the evil thoughts of the two.

"Eye of the fallen emperor of Britannia." Sougo commanded while he gestured his hands for the item he was asking.

"Here." Kagura obediently gave the jar.

"Light green hair of an immortal ."

"Here."

"Tail of the cursed Gorilla.."

"Here"

Sougo began stirring clockwise and counter clockwise, Kagura just observed him keenly.

"Pipiru piru pi, pipiru pirupi." Sougo started chanting.

"What? Then you would transform like a mahou shoujo who can still finish the full version of the transformation even when they are about to be hit by the enemy?" Kagura said.

"Dokuro-chan is not a mahou shoujo, she's an angel."Sougo answered with his dead pan voice, "Just copy me to make this potion for absolute obedience more effective."

"Aye Sir!"

"Pipiru piru pi, pipiru pirupi."

"Pipiru piru pi, pipiru pirupi."

Meanwhile, in the audience's side….

"Gin-san, we should help those two already." SHinpachi said, and faced Gin, " Before they completely turn this fanfic into a horror genr-"

But Gin was not there, just Sadaharu biting a piece of Gin's hakama stained with blood with a note saying, (written in blood) 'I'll leave the rest to you.'

"S-SADAHARU? Did you eat Gin-san? You eat Gin-san, right?" he kept shaking Sadaharu, "Aaaah! Sadaharu! I know you love his head but don't eat him! Spit him right now! "

"Arf!" he barked, and pointed the judge's table, Zooming into Meister Kirisaki, he just gave a thumbs up to Shinpachi.

He stopped shaking him, "Eh? Don't tell me- HE COSPLAYED AS MASTER KIRISAKI?"

Back to the two…

They were flapping both their hands above their heads while swaying their hips side to side, still continuing their so-called chants.

"Ooh ooh ooh ahh ooh ahh….ooh ooh ooh ahh ooh ahh ahh" they were both singing.

"Ohhh, now I can be famous in YouT*** with this chocolate dansen!" Kagura said, while eagerly dancing.

Sougo stopped, "Ah. By the way, danna gave this to me." then showed a note.

"What is it?" Kagura asked.

They both opened it, the note says: 'how to make fried rice' with a P.S. '"Potions are not foods so don't try killing people, YOU LITTLE FREAKS!"

"Che." Sougo said, "Fine, fine. China, let's stop the potion thing and do this."

And in just a flash, the setting changed into a real kitchen. Just like how it was in the start. They started gathering the ingredients and putting them on the table.

"Okay, first…." Then he started reading the note he was holding, "China, you chop those green onions then beat the eggs."

"Aye Sir! "Kagura answered, "Ah! Let me fry the eggs, Anego taught me how."

"Anego? You mean that flat chest amazon that Kondou-san's been stalking?" Sougo asked, and she just nodded.

That's when he remembered the greatest nightmare(worse than Hijikata turning into a masochist) that he already buried deep within his mind, the first time he tasted Otae's dangerous looking dark matter that was supposed to be takoyaki.

_I'd rather see Kondou-san's naked body than eat that poison again._ He held Kagura's shoulders, and looked straight into her eyes, "China, just leave this to me. I will do it for you."

She was blushing a bit, "O-o-okay." She looked the other way because of the awkwardness of his stare.

They started cooking. Kagura was in charge of chopping and washing the ingredients while Sougo was responsible in the frying pan.

Chop, chop, chop. But the slices didn't go well, they were too small or too big; too thin or too thick.

Twist, twist, twist. But the stove will not produce even a speck of fire.

**Yuuichi and Yachiko's side….**

They saw their opponents having a difficulty while cooking. Yuuichi smirked and said, "Hahahaha! I told you !Our plan worked nee-san! Now, it's our victory!"

"We're just so great, my dear brother. They didn't know we changed their materials. Hahahaha! " Yachiko replied.

They continued cooking.

**Sougo and Kagura's side….**

They tried and tried but there were no improvements with their work. Now, they have already reached their irritation Max Level.

*ANGER MARK*

And at the same time, they both took out their weapons. Sougo's bazooka pointed on the stove, Kagura's umbrella pointed on the green onions.

"P-p-please don't use violence…" the host said.

With the same breath, the same angry look and synchronization they both shouted…

"YOU STUPID KNIFE!" –Kagura

"YOU DAMN STOVE!"-Sougo

"What the hell that two are doing…?" Shinpachi said to Sadaharu… but the white dog just look at him naively.

"Sadaharu! Stop pretending to be innocent always!, I know that a dog like you have some ideas inside there" he pointed to the forehead of Sadaharu… "So kindly share this to us…" Pathetically, he was waiting for a reply, but an unusual voice responded him.

" Isn't obvious? Their ruining their kitchen battlefield…" the girl sitting right before Shinpachi said to him. Surprised from that voice, Megane turned to look at her…

…..

….

The girl was just silently looking at the stage like she's not the one who says that a while ago. This girl seem to be different from the others…Ever since they arrived from the Yato area, all of the people they encounter have the same looks: pale skin, weird looks, Chinese dress, and of course, some are hams…But this girl, was wearing European style dress, knee length. Her long yellow hair was down up to her waist..and only ornamented by a plain green headband to support her hair accompanied by a small pearl earings on her ears….

In short…this girl was totally CUTE.

Shinpachi was still looking at her while having these thoughts… "Yes. I'm Shinpachi Shimura, 16 years old, and never had an official girlfriend. I admit that as the episodes are running, I have so many love interests from the series, but they all ended leaving me behind…And really, I still haven't this kind of feeling when I first met them…"

"But this girl…"

"This girl…"

…..

"Hey! Have you watched unrated American horror film last night?" his imagination was destroyed by an out of the topic question coming from her..

"Ehhhh? That's all he can mutter..

"You've been looking at me like I am three fing**…."

(Three finger was the mutated cannibal of the American Horror film, Wrong Turn 3)

"EHhhhhhhh?"

Mashiro just ignored Shinpachi's same reaction and prepared to leave….she grab her gigantic sword that startled the sunglasses boy..

"What the! How can a lady have a sword like that! That's 7 times bigger than the normal…!"

She turned again to him before she walked away, putting her sword at her back. "Next time you should watch with your parents and make sure it's day not night…Or better not watch it, I guess…."

When she's few meters away, she waved a hand to him saying…. "Nice meeting you, Chavez….. I have to watch the part 6 of S*w…gah! I've been waiting so long for that to be premiered in our cable channel…" then she lost from the sight of Shinpachi, who was still dumbstruck and confused..(Chavez is one of the characters of Wrong turn 3)

"Thr** fing**? S*w? Chavez?what's that? Food?"

"…this girl made my heart stops beating…..

Tension filled the air. Everyone was already panicking with the view of that life threatening action.

…..

…..

But nothing dangerous happened.

"Phew! Finally I can chop well." Kagura said with a knife attached in her umbrella and started chopping.

"At last, there's already fire." Sougo said after he lighted the stove with his bazooka.

_Eh? it was just a knife and a lighter? _ Everyone thought.

And with that, they continued what they were cooking. Kagura finished chopping the green onions and beating the eggs while Sougo worked on frying and mixing the ingredients. Everything was going on smoothly.

15 minutes left….

"We're done!" Yuuichi announced.

But the other party was still working on their dish. Yuuichi and Yachiko presented their food to the judges. They cooked a Japanese dish, Ramen.

First was Meister Kirisaki (aka Gin); he tasted the food. A ham came out from his mask with lame looking wings and beak that even children can do better than that; attached to it.

"Ohhh! It was a HAM-ming bird! Meister Kirisaki took out a baby HAM-ming bird!" the host commented.

"HAM-ming bird my ass! it's just a ham!" Yuuchi complained.

"Ham, ham, ham, ham."

A little voice came from it sounding like a bird, and obviously it was just Gin pretending to be whistling while hiding a fan to flap its wings.

"Awwwwwwwww…..how cute." everyone said.

And for some reason, it suddenly looked like a real bird, in their vision. Imagine a little bird with a ham body having cute and pitiful eyes.

"Awwwwww…He looked a lot like you Yuuichi when you were a child." Yachiko said.

"Eh? it was just a ham, right? " Yuuichi said.

Then to the next judges, they took a sip from it at the same time.

"Delicious." Umibouzu said.

"You can be the next Cupper Chef." Yahiro commented.

"What? That's all?" Yuuichi shouted.

"No exaggerated reactions like suddenly cosplaying Naruto then turning this place into Konoha?" Yachiko complained.

But the narrator just ignored them.

**Back to Sougo and Kagura….**

They have finished their fried rice so it was all ready to be served to the judges. Kagura held the tray and and started walking towards them.

"Wait, China."

But he was stopped by Sougo; she looked back to face him.

"What? You sadist? " she angrily asked.

He held her shoulders and stared at her with seriousness in his face.

"W-what?" Kagura said while blushing.

"Please let me put this special ingredient given by someone very important to me. That person is too precious to me that….I would trust this thing given to me to give us victory; by being a part of the dish we, both worked hard to finish. And you are as important as that person."

"W-why are you being serious right now?"

He went closer to her face, "Even if it's fake, I will do this for you….my wife."

Kagura blushed more intensely hearing the word 'wife' coming from the sadist. It somehow made her happy.

"F-f-f-fine. Do what you want." She said while not looking at his face, "W-what is it anyway?"

He searched something on his pocket and took it out. Kagura faced him to look at it.

"Tabasco sauce." He said with that sadistic look on his face.

Kagura laid the tray beside the stove and calmly lift the big table beside her.

"Rejected." She said. Her face became demonic together with black aura starting to spread around her while holding the table.

*BOOG!* and it landed on Sougo's body, *BOOG! BOOG! BOOG!* continuously; *L1+R1+down button*

Combo! *Δ+O+X+ +down button * And…..K.O!

Poor Sougo laid on the floor together with the tattered pieces of the table. He was like a corpse whose soul just came out from its body.

"Don't worry, Gin-chan said sadists have long lives." Kagura said looking as innocent as a child and picked up the tray.

With all his strength left, he raised his head and said, "B-but it's always the last one to present the food who wins the cooking showdown in animes."

"Ohh!" said Kagura while lightly tapping her fist on her palm, "It always happen in Yakit*** Jap**!"

She hurriedly held the back of Sougo's collar and dragged him like he was a dead guy that she would be burying while running and putting the sauce in their fried rice.

"Here's our dish!" Kagura shouted as she reached the judges' table and placed a bowl for each of them.

They opened the bowl at the same time.

*glowing*

They all looked amazed with the light (red light) it emits and tasted it altogether.

"C-could this be-?" the judges said.

After a couple of seconds….

The three judges turned red, their whole body was as crimson as an apple. They fell on their seats and began spinning to the ground back and forth like when you are rolling a maki. They were already breathing fire because of its too much spiciness.

Sougo and Kagura went closer to them.

"So, did we win?" Kagura asked and again, with that innocent looking face of a kid.

"They have exaggerated reaction just like in Cook*** Mas*** B*y, so that means we win." Sougo replied INNOCENTLY.

"Of course we will react exaggeratedly!" Meister Kirisaki (aka Gin) shouted who held his seat to support his body from standing; "What the hell did you put in here? Huh?"

"Tobasco sauce." They said in chorus while holding it like they were advertising that bottle. *thumbs up* ,"One bottle per bowl."

"You trying to kill us? Ugghh….I knew it, a violent girl and a sadist shouldn't really work together. Just why the hell did these two ranked 1st in Gintama pairings?"then he looked at the camera, "Are you all masochists, huh? I told you just make KetsunoXGin pairings!"

"I thought we would copy that Japan #55 of Azuma Kazuma, you know, that bread that brought them to heaven because of its deliciousness." Sougo said.

_They would really kill us. _"Look Kagura! " then he pointed Umibouzu lying on the ground while holding his butt, "Your father's already producing a pool of blood!"

*clap clap*"Naaaaamu! Pappy, I will never forget your baldness." Kagura said then looked at the sky with the image of his father there with his head sparkling.

"Why only the baldness?" Gin said.

"Wait, where's the other judge?" Sougo asked.

Kagura moved her index finger then Gin and Sougo followed the direction where it was pointed.

*ting!* There lied a grave that says: "Died from blood loss due to hemorrhoids." with flowers hanging on it. Yuuichi and Yachiko were also there crying beside it.

"I knew it, you were really just an extra character, Father." Yuuichi said.

"They should've given you more dialogues before you died." Yachiko added.

Then they stood up and walked towards the three who were watching them.

"These are my father's last words." Said Yuuichi and handed them a note while looking like he was still mourning.

Sougo and Kagura opened it.

"YOU LOSE!" it says.

Yuuchi and Yachiko started laughing out loud.

"HAHAHAHAHA! HOOORA?...You think you can win by just being the last one to present your food? Hah! This is a fanfic not an anime! HAHAHAHA! " Yuuichi boasted with his tummy bouncing again.

"Don't forget our deal! ALL of you will stay here FOREVER! HAHAHAHA!" Yachiko included, "W-where's that natural perm hair anyway?" she said while trying to be a main character in a shoujo manga.

That changed Gin's face into a disgusted one that he would almost barf.

"Don't get too proud yet, the battle has just begun." Sougo said.

" And besides, we would win the next match for sure." Kagura said.

"How can you say that? Huh!" Yuuichi asked.

"Because it's always a 1-1 score then a tie breaker round." Kagura answered.

The two of them looked back and started walking.

"By the way, where's Gin-chan?"Kagura asked.

"He cosplayed as Meister Kirisaki." Sougo answered.

*droopy eyes*"Hah. Thinking he could be the bishounen type of guy. He will lose his position as the main character if he continues this." She said while picking her ears.

Later that night…..

Kagura was outside their house. She was sitting under the tree near it while looking at the night sky filled with nothing but dark clouds and lightning. She was holding her umbrella to protect herself from the pouring rain.

It was the same scenery she sees even from her childhood. While looking perfect for an emo with that kind of scene, she heard footsteps from behind. She already knew who it was.

"Pappy, why did you agree with the engagement?" Kagura asked.

"I'm sorry, Kagura-chan." Umibouzu said while sitting beside his daughter.

"It's not just because of a hair thickener, right?" she asked while facing him.

"W-well…."He looked away from her, "It was not effective anyway…"

Kagura hugged her knees, "It was my stupid brother who ranked from 7th to 3rd in the latest popularity poll and was even higher than me though he just appeared in the series, right?"

He looked at her and she was surrounded by an unexplainable hatred while saying that.

"M-maa, maa…Kagura-chan, You're still the heroine of Gintama don't worry." Umibouzu said and that calmed her down, "Actually, he knows where your brother who ranked third though I appeared earlier than him but was not even on the top 30 of the popularity poll." *gloom*

"Pappy, Don't worry you're still famous for your baldness." Kagura said to cheer him up?

*sigh* "You miss him, right? Even though he ranked high-"

"Stop it Pappy, it doesn't sound funny anymore."

"O-okay…Ehemm….going to the real topic, I was just thinking about you when I decided that. I know that even though he's violent and he left us, you still love him."

"I'm not as perverted as Sora Kasugano from Yos*** no So** who has a brother complex." Kagura said while pouting.

"But he's still precious to you….to the both of us."

"But he doesn't love us." She said while hiding her face to her knees.

Umibouzu just stared at her, he knew that she's already crying silently but she just doesn't want to show it to him. He also knew how fragile she is when it comes to Kamui, her brother.

"Saa, Kagura-chan, let's go inside the house." He said then sat in front of her like he wanted her to ride on his back.

"Thanks Pappy." She said, then accepted his father's offer.

They started walking with Kagura holding the umbrella for the both of them. She was hugging her father tightly, just like the old days.

"By the way Kagura-chan, how did you know the anime Yos*** no So**?" Umibouzu asked her.

"Ah. That? I watched it weekly on tv before." She replied.

(Yosuga no Sora is a romantic/dramatic EROGE made into an anime. So basically, it's not for kids!)

Kagura stayed in their room after being carried by his father. She sat on the bed hugging a pillow while still thinking of their conversation a while ago. It was still bothering her; after all, it was his brother they were talking about.

_It's not like something as significant as that can happen in a mere fanfic like this. _

She began rolling on the bed with the pillow still with her.

_But well, it's still a fanfic who knows what the authors are thinking. They might be too full of themselves that they will even make it happen._

She rolled on the other side.

_Ugggh….why am I even bothered by my brother? He doesn't even care a damn thing about us! Families are nothing for him._

And to the other side.

_It's not like I wanted to see him, I just want to beat the crap out of him for what happened in Yoshiwara. _

Bits of memories flashed on her mind, though they were faint, her bond with her brother is still precious for her. She stopped rolling and hugged the pillow tighter and without her noticing it, she was already crying like a child.

_I wish that sadist will not see me like this. _

The door opened.

"China?"

She quickly rose from her bed and accidentally took off the pillow from her face. She shouldn't have done that coz the person who just came in was none other than, Sougo Okita.

*tilts his head*"You crying?" he asked.

She came back from her position a while ago, "No I'm not." She murmured.

He closed the door and sat beside the bed.

"Trying to be a tsundere again? I told you it doesn't fit your character setting." He said.

"Shut up and leave me alone!" she shouted though it was not that loud because of the pillow in her face.

He held her pillow and took it off from her face.

"Wow. You look like a girl who was just dumped by her boyfriend" he said in a dead pan tone.

"It's because of the rain, moron" She said not looking at him.

"Heh? So it rains even inside your house?"

"I was out a while ago!"

"Oh? Then why's your dress not wet at all?"

"I protected it with my umbrella!"

"And only your face got wet?"

"Shut up!" she lift her hand to punch her.

*catch* "Tell me, what's the problem?" he asked her going nearer her face.

"None of your business, it's not like you would understand my feelings." She said.

He smirked, "It's your brother, right? The one who ranked 3rd from the last popularity contest which was even higher than me though I was 2nd before?"

Just like Kagura, an indescribable aura of hatred surrounded him and it was even greater than Kagura's.

She faced him,"H-how did you know?"

"That he's the 3rd?"

*droopy eyes*" How did you know about my brother? Hah. It's too obvious that you're bitter coz of him." Kagura said.

"As if you're not, well, your father told me."

"You won't understand what I'm feeling right now! You don't even have a sibling!" Kagura shouted at him with teary eyes.

"I understand it so well."he said with a painful smile carved in his lips." The feeling of being left alone by the one most important to you; and when you feel that gap between the two of you like you don't matter to her anymore. I know how much it hurts, how much hatred it gives me towards the person that she replaced with me. "

"Y-you have a sister?" she asked.

"Didn't you watch episode 86-87?"

"W-well, I-I'm the heroine you know, I don't have time to watch episodes without my appearance." Then she hugged her pillow again, "Where is she right now?"

"She's dead. She died in front of me* saying, "I'm proud of you to be little brother" But I have to accept it, even though she's not here anymore, I'm still happy that she existed and I was able to make her happy." He faced her, "And you, China *points Kagura*, Don't worry too much about it, I'm sure he will come back to you. And besides, he has sister complex, I'm sure of that coz I'm also like that."

"Be serious, you sadist. This is supposed to be the serious part of this fanfic."

"Fine, fine. I know how important he is to you, but right now what we have to think about is how to defeat those ham siblings to break off your engagement, okay?"then he smiled at her," And don't worry, there are still lots of people who treasure you so much like your father, danna, Sadaharu, Megane and..."

He glanced at her, "M-"

But he was already hugged by Kagura.

"C-china?" he said.

"Shut up you sadist!" she said, and began crying on his chest.

He smiled at her, "On a second thought, tsundere character fits you." And hugged her back, wrapping his hands around her neck just like she was some fragile jar that he should really hold dear.

But she just continued crying, while he just caressed her hair; lightly combing it with his fingers. Then he loosened his grip from her and held her chin tenderly to raise it, they were both looking at each other's eyes, it was a magical moment like they wish for it to last forever and suddenly their lips got nearer and nearer and…

*looks at the camera* "Ops! End of Fan Service!" they both said while raising both their hands signifying 'Stop'.

Midnight….

Sougo awakened from his sleep.

"Now then, let's get to the real job." He said then began walking.

Everyone was already asleep at that time but he purposely awake to go to certain place. Did they really believe that he was just idiot like that? Why he had to pretend to be a "cute and loving" husband and spend his time there instead of attempting to kill Hijikata?

Two weeks before the ham incident, the Shinsengumi was alarmed be the current cases of importing illegal drugs and weapons to Edo..According to the report, the syndicate involved was a big fat man, with a typical Chinese costume. He was once saw by Okita as he and his loyal comrade, Kamiyama was investigating about him. And finally, target found… The richest in the Yato Clan and the father of Yuichi and Yachiko, Yahiro…. All he need was an evidence…

It was a big warehouse. It was too old that it looked like it was not used for a long time. But when he came in, he saw what he was trying to find.

Illegal drugs secretly imported and exported to different planets and mostly, to Earth.

"Found it." he said, then he tried roaming around to find more evidences.

"Just like in Shabu-shabu episode, and there are even more kinds of them here."

He tried searching for more, so he moved his eyes around and there….something caught his attention.

*lightning strike*"T-this is-?" he gasped, then he tried getting it.

"It's….it's…..it's a…"

*TANAAAN!*

"GinHiji doujinshi! " and he even raised it.

*title says: When you and I are alone 3-Z version*

Then he started flipping the pages, "Wow. These are really forbidden. I didn't know they were even interested in this kind of things and to think there are even tons of them here. Good thing I have lots of OkiKagu fans."

"You should not read disgusting doujinshis like that, First Captain of the Shinsengumi, Mr. Sougo Okita." It was a soft voice coming from a girl. It was her…Mashiro…

Sougo looked back while still holding the doujinshi, and he was even in the 'good' part of it.

*blushing* "Th-that's mine."

"Disgusting huh?" Sougo said accusingly…

She move closer to him.."So what's your business here? " she asked slyly "Gathering evide—"

But Sougo had already put his sword near her neck…"How come that you know everything about me and my mission.."

"I just knew it" she said calmly…though the edge of the sword was few centimeters from her..

"Then, no question asked, all I need is to kill you.."

Knowing his sadistic character, he was really planning to kill her but Mashiro managed to get the sword from him…

"She's so fast..I even didn't see that…How can she take the sword from me in just a single second. "Sougo said in disbelief…

The next scene was he, half lying on the floor..and the girl, who is now pointing the sword to him…

"What are you waiting for? You can kill me now…" he still in his deadpan voice.

"Killing you won't be enough.." she then throw the sword away.. "Don't worry, I am not an enemy, in fact we have same purpose here..And besides…."

"Besides what?"

"I can't take to hurt bishounens…"

B.I.S.H.O.U.N.E.N. - Okita Sougo…

"What! I'm not a bishounen! "he said angrily.. "I'm a sadist!" Sadist can't be Bishounens!

"Then you are a sadist pretender BISHOUNEN… "

"I told you I'm not bishounen! Stop teasing me! You're ruining my character!"

"The author had ruined your character already…."

Sougo was burning furiously to Mashiro…

*Looking at the camera* "Girls, now you know what is the weakness of Sougo…hahaha….Wanna wear this? "( typical clothes that the main guy character wears in a shoujo anime)

Popping head with demonic eyes was now looking at the unbothered girl….Mashiro continue to snort

As she get something green from her pocket.

*CHUBERT*

"Hey, that's green apple flavored chubert…" Sougo said bluntly.

"What are you talking about Bishie? It's not chubert, it's limited edition popsy special

"Stop addressing me as a cute guy!…And it's chubert..not pop pop…that's sounds like a dump..!"

"Who cares…" Now she is cutting the "Gintama's all time favorite Chubert… While Sougo was staring at the green thing..Mashiro noticed the sudden change of his expression…

"Hah! You like my popsy,aren't you…"

"It's been 3 days since I have that one.." he deadpanned.

"Ohhhhh….then wish me luck for this fruity popsy.."

"Chubert.."

"Popsy.."

"That's chubert..and I should be the one who must drink that.." He hurriedly grab the "green thing" (the author is confused!) from her, but she had a strong grip from it…

"This popsy is mine! Buy for yours!"

"That's not pop pop…that's chubert..Give me that! …" Now they were risking their lives for the green thing….

"This is popsy, Bishie!"

"That's Chubert! "

"Posy!"

"Chubert!"

Author: (*lying on the floor holding a signboard: "I GIVE UP!THE EPIC BETWEEN POPSY AND CHUBERT SEQUEL WAS STILL NOT FINISHED..UNTIL NEXT TIME!)

**Rhaide: *hits the table* I therefore conclude! GinHiji is the most famous pairing in Gintama!**

**Kamui and Zura: *clapping* Yay! Yay! **

**Gin: Oi! What the hell was that? And why are these two here?**

**Rhai: *not looking* Because I love them, and they're so handsome. **

**Gin: Eh? don't bring you fan girl attitude here! They're not even a part of this fanfic!**

**Kamui: Maa, maa, Gin-san don't worry I will not kill you here. **

**Zura: Don't be too stingy this is the only part that I can have exposure!**

**Gin: Ah! Whatever! And don't include GinHiji as a pairing!**

**Kamui: Ehhh….But you fit each other. **

**Zura: Don't worry, it's not forbidden anymore. You can freely express your real feelings.**

**Gin: Shut up! I don't to hear that from a guy with a girly hair!**

**Shinpachi: *sulking in the corner* I just had two lines this chapter.**

**Rhai: *taps his back* get used to it. *thumbs up***

**Souchirou-chan: Don't worry, I add your lines now…In fact, I give you a loveteam…**

**Shinpachi: Really!…arigatou..**


	6. Chapter 6

For some reason, there were about 1 or 2 parodies in this chapter. I don't know if I just forgot about it or I ran out of animes to put here. I wish you would still enjoy it.

Uhhhh…can I ask a favor to everyone who would read this chapter? Uhmmmm…actually, I tried publishing a story in entitled, "First day of classes". Well, if you have time to read it, I'd be very glad and if it would not bother you, please put an honest review and can you tell me its plot? Coz seriously I don't know how'd that story goes even though I was the one who wrote it. That's all thanks!

So now, let's Hell Fakinawaaaaaay! And….. Here's our Bad Communicatioooooon!

**Kamui, Elizabeth, Gin and Rhaide: Welcome to Instant husband Omake! *door opens***

**Otae:*smile* Is Sougo Okita here? *dark aura*'Flat-chest amazon' he says? Ara, Shall I show that prince the power of the Queen of Kabukicho?**

***points Rhaide* Eli's placard says: 'She's the author.'**

**Rhai: *drinking tea*Tsk tsk tsk You can't Otae-san, even though you are in the top 10 of the popularity poll he's still higher than you…and he has lots of fans.**

**Otae: *more dark auras* Then, shall I begin with his fans?**

**Rhai: *bows down* Your highness I'll be at your service forever.**

**Gin: **_**She manipulated the author?**_

**Otae: *smile* Maa, maa…Let us celebrate our meeting. Here I brought-**

***everyone runs ***

**Otae: ara, I guess they're too shy….*quickly grabs Rhaide*Now, here's my SPECIAL 'tamagoyaki.'**

**Rhai: *looks at the camera* HEEEEL-**

**Kamui: Hai, here's Chapter 6!**

**NOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

"Did you just hear a scream?" Mashiro asked Sougo.

"Don't fret about it, it's just the scream of someone tasting the 'dark matter' for the first time." Sougo replied.

"D-dark matter?"

The two of them were still in that warehouse. Sougo and Mashiro were across each other. Sougo was sitting in that pile of doujinshis while still sucking his chubert. Mashiro was just standing in front of him and watching his actions.

"Now then, will we still continue that argument about chubert and popsicle?" Sougo asked while crossing his right leg to his left with his head leaning on his palm. He was staring at her.

She finally sat down in the floor, "Naah…I'm too tired, I'm not in the mood for childish feuds right now." She answered.

"Then, I guess it's about time you tell why you came here."

"Don't worry, I'm not an enemy. I'm here to help you."

"Heeeh..You may be just a spy."

"Trust me, I'm here for revenge to Yahiro."

"Really? Why?"

Her facial expression suddenly changed hearing Sougo's question. She looked lonely like it triggered some painful memories to her.

"Actually….they stole my mother's memento. I was just forced to live here and follow them because of their blackmails saying they would destroy it if I don't follow them. " she explained.

He just stared at her while she continued her story.

"It is the treasure of our ancestors passed down generation by generation to the first daughter of the family. It's too precious to us that we would sacrifice our lives just to have it. I don't want to disappoint my mother or anyone else in my family."

She was almost crying but she still tried her best to hide it. Miraculously, Sougo, the prince of sadists, felt sympathy seeing her in that state.

"Hai, chubert." Sougo said with his usual dead pan tone while handing over a chubert from his pocket.

"T-thank you. " she said and accepted Sougo's offer, "It's popsicle by the way."

"Whatever. What is that memento anyway?"

"-at" she softly spoke.

"Huh?"

"T-that." Mashiro said and pointed something

Sougo followed the direction of her finger and….*sound effects: OWWWH YEAH!* the yaoi (boyXboy) doujinshis of Gintama!

*lightning strike* *shocked*

And she suddenly change her facial expression into a cheerful one, "I was very very much thankful to you Okita-san. I mean, I've been restraining myself from yaois these past few months since I never knew where they were hiding these 'TREASURES'."

"Sacrificing your lives for these?" Sougo asked while holding some of the books.

"En….in Comima and Comiket, ever since my ancestors, we would sacrifice our lives with those pool of people just to get these rare doujinshis! The hard work, the pain, the sweat we had just to buy these! And together with posters!"

*fujoshi mode: ON!*

"And that doujinshi you're holding, KYAAAAAAH! That was the greatest! Hijikata-sama and Gin-sama XXXXX in the classroom when no one was around, then XXXXXX and XXXXXXX! Gin is the seme and Hiji is the uke! Ah! I just love their tsundere kind of love!Wait there are still more pairings.." then she hurriedly ran to the piles of books and tried finding something from there.

(seme and uke-don't bother knowing these terms. Please.)

*TANAAAN!* A OkiHiji doujinshi!

"Heeeehhh…there are books like that." Sougo said with a big 'anger mark' on his face.

"Yap, yap! I think you and that mayo freak really fit each other! You were just too shy to admit it, coz revenge was the feeling that overpowers your love for him! And you're jealous of your sister! Then you would *bleeeeeep* and *bleeeeeeep*….and *tooooooooot*….then XXXXXXX….XXXXXXXXX….."

"*looks at the camera* Oi, stop this girl. This is turning into R-18 fanfic. You're ruining this girl's character settings. She's become too much rotten already, see?" Sougo said with dead pan tone.

(The writer of this fanfic had NEVER EVER read/watched a yaoi or a shounen ai, please keep that in mind.)

"Wait….Kagura was it?" she suddenly said.

Sougo faced her the moment he heard that name, "What's with her?"

*tilts her head*"You love her, right?"

He looked straight into her eyes, then he start to laugh..What kind of question is that?"

She gave back a serious stare, "Nothing. I just think, that girl likes Gin-san if I would analyze her actions plus they are always together. So….."

_Bull's eye. _"So?"

"Just give up and go the Hijikata route!" *thumbs up, wink and tongue out*"Yey!"

*ANGER MARK*

In a split second he had already taken out his bazooka then pointed it on Mashiro. And without any notice…BOOM!

Mashiro managed to roll on the floor to dodge that hit.

"You trying to kill me,Bisounen?" she shouted at him the moment she stood up.

"Che." Sougo said and clicked his tongue.

"Oi! I heard that! You really want to kill me? huh?"

"Well, whatever. That girl doesn't know what love means, same as me…" He turned around and started walking towards the exit, he was already near it "So, whoever she likes, I don't care. And you, yaoi addict…mind your disgusting doujinshis and not my business here…" But when he turned to look at her, she was staring furiously in front of him..

"Yaoi addict?Disgusting? You're losing my patience, Bishounen guy..Don't you ever disrepute my parents' masterpieces!" She immediately get her gigantic sword and ran towards him..

But accidents really happen..As Mashiro was about to attack Sougo, something on the ground made her stumble and slipped away with Sougo…Now she ended on the top of the sadist guy…her hands both on his chest.

"Clumsy huh? Is that one of the side effects of an yaoi addict?" he said to her..still on his blank face like nothing was happened.

"Now who's talking. Bishounen? It's better if you get married with Hijikata-san in London.." same with Mashiro who is also not affected on what had happened.

Accidents really happen….bad luck is also included…

There's a girl, who is not so far away from them…her monster red eyes, accompanied by her red aura was directly looking at them..

*Slap. *

….

…..

…..

….

"_I LOVE YOU..YOU_

_YOU LOVE ME_

_WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY.._

_WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU.._

_WON'T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO…" *BARNEY*_

PLEASE WAIT A MOMENT PLEASE FOR PARENTAL GUIDANCE CHECK.

The next day…..

Sougo was sleeping comfortably in a very fluffy and soft bed with. It was too fluffy and too soft that he thought it was weird. Though he had no blanket it still feels warm to be in that bed but something's too different about it…

"It stinks like dog."_ But Kondou-san still has more horrible smell._ He said and when he opened his eyes, "Ah. Sadaharu."

*bite*

Meanwhile….

Shinpachi was just strolling around while holding an umbrella. He was walking alone while observing the surroundings.

"Yaaah..I really thought I would not have another appearance in this fanfic. Gotta make the best of it, before the author changes her mind." Shinpachi said to himself.

He just continued his solitary walk while looking like vey cheerful whistling some Otsuu songs.

"Where's everyone by the way?" he suddenly stopped his feet from moving, "Ah! Ohayou Sadaharu!"

He had passed by Sadaharu.

"Nah. It's just my imagination, there's no way Sadaharu was biting a person while walking-" but when he looked down the ground, _Blood! There's a trail of blood!"_SA-SA…._" _With freaked out face and trembling body he hurriedly ran to Sadaharu faster than Eye shield 21, "SADAHARU!"

Yeah, positive. There's a person's head inside Sadaharu's mouth with continuous blood flowing from his head, and the hakama slowly being turned into red.

And as always, Shinpachi panicked seeing that kind of thing that his umbrella just slipped from his hand. He looked like someone who's suffering from diarrhea.

_We will rot in jail if this continues!, _He quickly bowed with his head to the ground, "Please, let him go." He begged, with trembling voice.

Miraculously, Sadaharu obeyed what he said. The body just fell in front of Shinpachi, so he raised his head to identify the victim. And it was none other than…

_OKITA-SAN! He was trying to kill a police officer! it's not just the jail, we would be sentenced seppuku if he died! _

He tried to wake him up by lightly shaking him, but no response at all.

_Oi! He's not waking, He's not waking at all! _"M-maa, Sadists have long lives. Hahahahaha…"Shinpachi just said to comfort himself.

_Eh? Doesn't Okita-san suffer lots of near-death experiences in this fanfic? Is he really still considered as a sadist?_

Finally, he opened his eyes.

"Megane?" he uttered.

"Yaah...I'm glad you're already awake Okita-sa-"

*bite*

"Ane-ueeeeeeeeee! Maaaaat…..teeeee!(Wait)" Sougo said.

The location was a peaceful garden with lots of flowers and grasses that it felt like being in paradise. He was running in slow motion with his hands gesturing 'Stop!'. (BG: sparkly sparkly)

"Ahahahaha, ahahaha….I will be there soon Ane-ue…." He continued while having a stupid big smile and eyes that obviously looked happy.

He opened his eyes.

"Wow, I just saw heaven." He spoke to himself

He was lying flat on the ground with just a big shady tree protecting him from the rain.

_Damn that China. She just threw me beside Sadaharu last night._

He started standing up while holding the trunk of the tree for support and decided to go inside to have some warmth.

Inside the house…..

When he opened the door to their room, an extravagant scene awaited him.

Kagura was sitting like a queen in a majestic chair with her knees crossed and her head leaning on her right hand while on her left hand was an empty wine glass. She held it elegantly. What's more surprising was, the boys surrounding her like they were her followers. One guy was massaging her shoulders, the other was holding a tray filled with her sukonbu, another one was putting it in her mouth, then there was one standing beside her holding a bottle of wine, and the last two were just sitting on both ends of the chair like a loyal butler ready to serve her.

The room has turned into a host club, with sparkles all over the place and dazzling guys wearing formal clothes.

She smirked, "Heeehhh….so, the sadist is here." She looked at him with belittling eyes. _Hah! I'm just too great! I'm sure the sadist will get irritated with this!_

Then she gestured her left hand like asking for a wine, the guy poured into the glass.

"Here, Queen Kagura." he said.

"Call me Factory Manager!" She commanded.

"Y-yes, Factory Manager."

_Whoooa,,,,don't tell me this is her revenge for what happened last night? Seeing me talking with that fujoshi? _He just smiled and said,"Well, just enjoy your pedophilic reverse harem with those nameless characters." And he quickly closed the door.

After that, a dark dark dangerous demonic aura has started spreading around the room. It was enough to make everyone present there to feel chill in their spines and even outside that room.

Screams of guys echoed loudly around the house, it was said that it was even heard outside that it overwhelmed the noise of the pouring rain.

Gin and Shinpachi were walking on the hallway.

"What the hell, it took five pages for my appearance in this chapter." Gin complained to Shinpachi while scratching his head.

"Just how the hell did you count the pages?" Shinpachi asked

"Whatever. Let's just go to Kagura."

They have reached their room, Gin held the knob and opened the door. Shinpachi also took a peek inside.

"Oi, Kagur-" he said.

And he quickly closed the door.

The scene inside the room was; it was filled with bodies of guys lying on the floor though without blood, it was obvious that their bodies were severely damaged. Kagura was in the middle,looking so innocent and holding one of the guys in his collar, slapping him full force in the both side of his face. Just like a scene in a suspense film with a murderer involved.

"No,no,no,no,no." Gin swiftly said like a rapper, with his hands shaking rapidly, "I-i-it must be our imagination, right? There's no way our little Kagura would heartlessly hurt a bunch of weak guys….Hahahaha…..she's still a brat, ne? ne?" he held his shoulders firmly like he was so desperate. His voice was trembling like hell, and he was sweating profusely.

"Hahahaha…."Shinpachi was forced to laugh back, "Y-yeah, she could never hurt someone-"

All of Kagura's violence suddenly flashed back in their minds. Ordering Sadaharu to bite people, punching and slapping Sougo with her monstrous strength, smacking people…..

*frozen*

"Hahahahaha…It's all in the past, what's important is the present, right? hahahaha…." Gin said.

_He just ignored reality! _"Then, why don't you try opening the door right now?" Shinpachi said.

"No,no,no….We must trust Kagura. Hahahahaha….I think I should get going now."

Gin looked back but Shinpachi had stopped him immediately.

"GIN-SAN! we must save those guys from Kagura! Who knows what will happen if we don't stop her!" he shouted.

"Then you open that door! You want more appearances, right? Now go and be heroic and let yourself be hospitalized because of that violent girl!"

_Uweee! Now he admits it!_ "You are her guardian so she's your responsibility!"

"I am not her father!"

Shinpachi just grabbed his hand and together they opened the door.

"Ah. Gin-chan, Shinpachi." *punch* Kagura said facing the two.

"Y-y-yo….Kagura-chan." Gin replied.

It was the same scenario as a while ago.

She laid down the guy and all of a sudden, she started running to Gin. She just jumped to his body and wrapped her hands around his neck and her legs fastened to his waist. She was like a baby carried by Gin.

"K-kagura?" Gin asked.

She stuffed her head on Gin's shoulders while holding her grip to his neck tighter than a while ago the same with her legs. He supported her back by holding it.

"Oi Kagura? don't tell me they tried to attack you so that's why you just fought back?" Gin asked while looking at Kagura.

She slowly raised her head.

"Kagura-chan, you should've told us so we could help you…" Shinpachi said, "Man, now I feel bad for doubting her a while ago. I'm so sorry Kagur-"

BG change: flowery and sparkly

"Thank you guys, it cheered me up." She said while looking at the beaten guys, with a very bright smile and enlightened face.

"You beat them all to cheer you up?" Shinpachi shouted.

"S-somehow, they all seemed to be smiling." Gin said while looking at those guys.

The guys were left on the floor with their body all damaged badly, but the scene of Kagura's smile never left their hearts.

_Kagura-chan, you're so cute. _They all thought.

Well, the truth is they were just hardcore lolicons.

With all that commotion happening in that house, Sougo was peacefully sleeping in a room. Even with those loud noises it didn't bother his sleep.

When he woke up, it was already night. Since he was alone, he started going back to their room thinking it was already turned back to its normal state.

He was about to go to their room but before he could, something caught his attention. There was a door slightly opened but it was enough to peek inside it. He knew it was Gin and Shinpachi's room. That's why he became more curious and gave in to the temptation of taking a look inside.

It must have been a great, great view for Sougo.

Kagura was sound asleep sitting on Gin's lap with her knees curled. Her head was leaning on his chest while her hands gripping lightly on Gin's hakama.

*anger mark*

_So…..you were here, huh? Hahahaha….somehow my sadistic instincts are awakening. Hahahahaha….i think I just want to take out my bazooka and hit Danna with it._

"De, how am I gonna get out with this?" Gin complained scratching his head, "Just why won't she wake up?"

*flash*

"Oi, who the hell was tha-?"

A young man with light brown hair stood in front of him.

"Hai, Sexual Harassment." He said while holding his cell phone.

"Eh? oi! Delete that picture!" Gin shouted.

He started typing, while stating its contents,"Too..bad…Hi..ji..ka..ta..san..he's..into..children"

"Oi why was it that mayo freak?"

"..not..into..boys.."

"Oi! Stop it!"

"Hai….seeend-"

Gin stood up and grabbed Sougo's phone from him. Kagura was laid on the floor beside the bed,

"I get it, I get it….You just want her, right?" he asked, while pointing Kagura.

*smirk* "Heehhh…why did you stop me? you don't want Hijikata-san to be jealous?" Sougo said.

"Just why the hell would I? Oi I'm a real guy and I like girls! So stop pairing me up with that mayo freak!"

"Don't worry Danna, I will never tell Hijikata." He said, then continued, "But I won't delete this picture."

"Ahhhhhhh! Fine fine! I'll leave you alone already! Just delete that picture!"

"Hai, hai." He pressed some buttons in his phone, then showed it to Gin, "Deleted."

*sigh* Then he held his shoulders and faced him, "But before I leave, let me ask you, what do you feel about her?"

He stared back with the eyes of someone who has sincerity with his words, "Danna, I've fallen for that girl deeper than I had expected."

Gin grinned at him, "In the spring of your youth, huh? Well, she's still stupid about these kinds of things."

"Don't worry I will lend her my copy of Ki** ni Todo**; manga, live action and anime."

"Eh? You're also a fan of it? Man, it seriously made my heart go *doki* whenever I watch it-"

"Ohhh…Danna, I didn't know you love those girly animes. I just watch them for research purposes." Said Sougo while smirking like he enjoyed what he was hearing.

"*blush*S-shut up!" he just let out another sigh, "Souichirou-kun,"

"Sougo desu." He said.

"If you don't want her to misunderstand your intentions, just tell her you feelings ASAP." Gin told him.

"What? That she sucks?"

"Not that! Be true to yourself..we both know that you love her…"

He looked back and began to walk outside the room but Sougo had grabbed his shoulder, "Wait danna, Did she tell you anything about me? or about her feelings?"

Gin faced Sougo, then he tilted his head*'Shhh' gesture, wink*"Se-cr-et! *tongue out* tehe!" Gin cutely said with a shoujo anime-ish BG.

This time he really went outside the room so Kagura and Sougo were the ones left alone there. Seeing Gin was already gone from there, Sougo just sat beside Kagura who was still sleeping.

"I didn't know Danna had some weird interests." He said while looking at the ceiling, then suddenly remembered Gin's words, "I think I would be having nightmares later."

He felt some movements from Kagura. He just looked at her and saw that she had changed her position. She was already facing him. She looked so innocent just like a child, with a peaceful face like she was having a good dream. Sougo just smiled seeing that heavenly scenery.

"Gin-chan." She uttered in her sleep.

*anger mark* _Just what kind of dream is she having that danna's with it? It's always danna…Gin-chan this, Gin-chan that, and now, even now that she's sleeping…" he smirked…_

"Sadist…." She muttered.

Sougo was shocked. _"Ehhhhhhh? Did she say ss-sa-distt? Nah..maybe she's pertaining to someone else, almost all the characters on Gintama were sadist anyway,_ *fish eyes* _Well, of course, including the flat chest amazon.._

"Souichirou…"

"Sougo-desu~" he corrected to the sleeping girl.

"Bakaiser.."

"Hey! Are you really sleep talking huh?" he deadpanned.

"Immature, stupid, and sadist sand haired guy who is baka baka baka baka baka baka… (*with an echoing sound)

"Wanna have some fight?" he shouted

"I love you….."

….

…..

….

(*dot *dot *dot)

"She really say….I love you….to me….."

The direction of his vision suddenly changed.

Lips: lock on. State; slightly opened, pinkish, little, tempting.

He couldn't take off his eyes on her lips, and just like a north pole of a magnet parallel to a south pole; his face was pulled by it. He held her cheek gently, with his palm feeling her warmth.

"If you wake up right now, I will kill you." He said softly.

By every second that passed by, his lips would slowly get nearer hers. He just couldn't stop it. He didn't care about the consequences if he would be able to do it. It was the perfect moment; he just can't let it go.

Just one more, and his lips would finally meet hers.

After 5 seconds…

_Eh? There are no interruptions? Hehhhh…..Then I would-_

He felt two threatening glares from outside the fanfiction. They were the authors.

_Yeah, yeah. No kiss on the lips. _He took off his hands from her cheek, and continued on staring at her sleeping face. He just let out a sigh.

He held her forehead and slowly lifted her bangs to the top of her head.

"Then maybe this is allowed." Sougo said.

He kissed her forehead, while his hands were gradually wrapping around her neck.

After 3 seconds…

Sougo leaned his chin on her head while tightening his grip to her as if he just doesn't want to let her go. He just looked at the wall in front of him while smiling like a kid satisfied with that moment he's in.

With his instincts, he looked at his left.

"Hehhhh…..so you were awake." He said.

There, he saw the metal end of Kagura's umbrella directly pointing at his face.

"Oi Sadist, are you trying to rape me?" she spoke.

He hastily released his hands from her and looked at her face. She had droopy eyes and it was obvious to her face how displeasured she was with that situation.

"Huh? Rape?" he replied.

Flashback of actions; Kagura was sleeping, in her weakest state tried kissing her lips kissed her forehead cuddled her

He suddenly blushed and covered his mouth with his right hand. He stood up and ran away from that room.

"The sadist just blushed?" Kagura said….

"Cute…." she said then with sly face…

The next day….

Even though it was almost forgotten to be included in this chapter, today will be the second obstacle for Kagura and Sougo. It was located in the same place as the first one with the same big amount of people to watch them.

There stood at the middle of the stage a tall, young man with long black hair tied at the back of his head. He was wearing a black coat with red linings and a silver logo of some Order on the left side of his chest. He was holding his sword named Mugen. It caught everyone's attention.

Gin and Shinpachi were in the audience near the stage.

"Oi, oi..Isn't that Kanda from **-M**? Why is he h-?" Gin asked Shinpachi.

It was then, a big penguin looking duck or duck looking penguin appeared behind him with golden wings and golden long tail with big spiral end. Then a golden cross in his mouth. He was also holding a placard.

It disgusted the audience.

"EH? It was just Katsura-san? " Shinpachi shouted.

"Oi, was that supposed to be Timcanpy? Huh? Katsura Hoshino would get mad at you!Oi, Zura! You think anyone would not notice that duck looking penguin or penguin looking duck ?" Gin shouted.

(Katsura Hoshino-mangaka of -Man)

The man faced him, and said "Zura janai, Exorcist Katsura da."

-0000000000000000000000-00000000000000000000000--000000000000000000

Hi! This is Souichirou-chan….I just want to thank all the readers and reviewers here on Fanfiction….And it's our (*together with Rhaide) pleasure if we can hear your reviews about our chapters…

You can read my another fanfic, Ryoji Tokino, on Hayate the Combat Butler section..Actually, I really don't know if it's just a coincidence or something but, that story seems to be okikagu like…I created Ryoji Tokino before I discovered Gintama…but Ryoji and Sougo had many similarities…(maybe that's the reason why I really like Souchan) here's some:

They're both violent and sadist

They both have sister complex (Sougo to Mitsuba, Ryoji to Maria)

They're both like spicy foods..

The story of Nagi and Ryoji there (even their attitudes) is almost the same with Kagura and Sougo.

They both have few friends.

They're both childish

..and many more…hahaha….Ryoji Tokino is a Student Council President who found Nagi as his rival in academics…

Just want to share….again, thanks for reading Instant Husband….

Extra Skit.. *Okikagu Moments!*

Kagura: Hey Sadist! Don't you know that I Love you!

Sougo: (removing his earphone) What? You say something, China Girl?

*anger mark*

Kagura: Me? Yeah..Don't you know that someone gave me 3 wishes? Guess what I'd wish…

Sougo: What?

Kagura: I wish you to Die! DIE! And DIE! JERK!

Kagura left with Demonic Aura…

Sougo: Good thing that my ipod was low in battery..I had heard everything….

.love

….

Until next time..desu~


	7. Chapter 7

Yo~~ ! It's been a long time, right? yeah, it was freaking long. *sigh* I'm soooo sorry for the suuuper late update for Chapter 7, I don't know why but I seriously had a hard time writing this chapter even when Souichirou-chan gave me a draft to follow. So to make up for it, I intentionally made it long (so expect nonsense scenes)! Or does it make things worse?

This may be the longest chapter, so far?*sigh* I just hope it won't get messy again. But, please review! Thanks!

**Rhaide: Hai! Omake des-!**

**Gin: Oi! What the hell is with that Ki** ni Todo** addiction? The hell do I care about Sawako and Kazehaya? **

**Rhai: I know you still crave for love deep inside…no need to hide it.**

***cracking sounds of the table***

**Rhai and Gin: *looks***

**Kamui: This-is-not-a-SHOUJO-manga-or-anime….*louder cracking sounds* Gintama-does-not-need-ROMANCE…. *evil aura way beyond hatred***

**Gin: Oi, what's wrong with him?**

**Kamui: Hahaha…..Actually,*fake smile*I've been holding it in since Chapter 1….*table tattered*Sougo Okita was it? *black sparkle***

**Gin: Oi, why are you just looking at me? complain to the authors!**

**Kamui: Pretending to be a married couple, sleeping together, too much touching, almost kissing…and now, kissing while my cute little innocent sister is asleep with only the two of them in a room? *fake devious smile* hahaha…isn't that going too far? Hahaha…..somehow I feel like becoming the main antagonist of this fanfic and kill that sadist….**

**Gin: I told you don't complain to me. Oi you author help me her-**

**Rhai: *just a dummy with a note : You can do it, Gin! =w=b***

**Gin: what the-? Oi! Help me here!Oi! somebody-**

**Rhai:*hiding in the cabinet* Ahhhh, Sister Complex….is just too great. *sparkle*..and Kamui….. You're just so handsome…*drooling* *nose bleeding* now then, *looks at the camera* Here's Chapter 7**

_Limited edition Roy** chocolate brand…._

_Overflowing lusciousness of a super deluxe parfait…_

_Everything is made of sugar, just like in Char*** and the Choco**** Fact***. The road, the river, the cars, the houses..everything is covered with the irresistible sweetness of that biomolecule also known as C__6__H__12__O__6__ or glucose. Yes, this is…._

_SUGAR LAND!_

"SUGAR LAAAAAND!" Gin shouted, but as he opened his eyes, "EH?" he was not able to rise from his bed.

There were two faces in front of him.

A girl with a pale complexion just like the snow and having a carroty like color of hair, and a boy with light brown hair, with cerulean eyes and reddish brown eyes staring at him keenly; with this description, it's too obvious to know who these harassers were.

"K-kagura-chan? O-okita-kun?" he asked with anxiety in his voice.

And why wouldn't he be nervous? Kagura was calmly holding a table like she's about to hit it to Gin, while Sougo was holding his bazooka directed to him while the both of them are looking as innocent as a new born baby.

"Sadist, there's no hope anymore. He's not the Gin-chan the I know." Kagura said pitying the white haired guy.

"Yeah, he's already been contaminated by Hijikata-san. They both think Mayo land and Sugar land exists, we must save even just danna." Sougo agreed, with his dead pan tone.

"I knew it, Gin-chan and that mayo freak are in that kind of relationship."

Gin just grabbed the faces of those two and squeezed their cheeks. It was too strong that they both let loose of what they were holding.

*anger mark*"What the hell are you doing trying to kill someone in their sleep! And what's with that GinHiji pairing again? I told you to stop it!" Gin shouted at them, "*blush*P-plus…Sugar land really exists, I watched it in Char*** and the Chocol*** Fact***."

"Shut up natural perm, you promised me a lifetime worth of sukonbu, now where is it?" Kagura shouted with her mouth protruding because of Gin's hand.

"Yeah danna, where's the torture plan for Hijikata-san?" Sougo added in his dead pan tone,having the same situation as Kagura.

"Oi, oi these kids are becoming more annoying." then he faced them again, "I said only if you won right?"

He took off his hands from them.

"Don't tell me you really wanted to stay here forever and be that bouncing ham's husband. Hah! Just because no one's ever fallen for you, you would go for anyone." Kagura said while holding her injured cheek.

"Uweeeee! The hell do I want that! I would look like Mich*** Jor*** together with his beloved bouncing ball! I beg you, stop that, I'll give you 300 yen!" Gin shouted.

"Then, who do you prefer that Yachiko or Hijikata-san?" Sougo asked.

"Eh? What's with those options? Do I look so desperate that it has come to that? Moreover…" Gin looked at the camera, "Oi what the hell is with start of the chapter!ahhhh! Whatever, from the start again…"

"Here's the real chapter 7!" Sougo, Kagura and Gin announced.

Somewhere near the house of Yuuichi…

There lies a graveyard with inscriptions saying: "Died of blood loss due to hemorrhoids". No one dares to go near that place because of the rumors related to the said location. It was said that murmurs and even screams asking for help could be heard whenever someone is nearby that place. (A girl's scream GIRLIER than anyone else was also heard..and probably; no, definitely, that was Gin.)

Could this be the revenge of an extra character who didn't have enough exposure in this fanfic?

*camera rolling down and down and down*

A silhouette of a man can be seen, he was holding a phone together with a radio beside him producing suspense filled BG music. _Tananaan tananananaan_

"Kill him," the voice said, which obviously came from that mysterious man, "And make sure it will appear as an accident." He ended the call.

A smirk was carved in his lips, "Time to end this, Mr. Bishounen."

Just who is this new character? Could he be the real main antagonist of this fanfic? And why does he sound so cool and mysterious? Is it because it's the fad with the antagonists these days? And could that radio be the source of the rumors about the ghost? Or was it really just for his BG music?

Don't miss his own version of the villain's trade mark laugh!

You will find out, after the commercial brea-

*BAAAAAM!*

Ehem…ehem….We deeply apologize for that, someone took over of narrating. You may have forgotten about it, or you really have forgotten it, this guy appeared in Chapter 4 and 5, Yuuichi and Yachiko's father…..

"Watch out for the return of Yahiro, your real enemy. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Yeah, yeah. Just don't take over the narrating ever again.

And so, to the contest….

"Zura janai Exorcist *bleep* da." Said the guy as he faced the audience.

But all of a sudden, he changed the expression of his face.

"Oi matte! why's there a *bleep* on my name? There was no *bleep* last chapter!" he shouted at the guys down the stage.

"B-but you said your identity must not be known." The guy there said.

"Exorcist *bleep* janai, exorcist Ka-*bleep*da! Kats-*bleeeeeep* da!"

From that cool pose he had earlier, he came down the stage rushing to the guys on the technical division leaving the stage with only the disgusting Elizabeth-cosplaying-Timcanpy.

Elizabeth's placard says: "Please wait for a moment."

"Oi, oi, That Shinsengumi brat is here, right? Men, I didn't know terrorists have time to be hosting a contest like this." Gin told Shinpachi, who were both watching from the audience.

"Maa, don't worry Gin-san, he wasn't caught when he cosplayed Ma**o, I'm sure he'll be fine." Shinpachi answered

Voices could be heard from the technical division. It was too loud that everyone present there were able to listen to it.

"Are you insulting me? Why did you put *bleeep* in my name?" Katsura shouted at the guy there. He was holding him in his collar like he's about to hit him.

"B-but we're just protecting your identity…" the poor guy said,

"What did you say? You fool! Don't you know me? I am the leader of the Jouishish-"

And a wooden sword came flying into Katsura's head.

"Oi Zura! Get this match started! Before the readers get mad at the authors again for putting nonsense scenes here!" Gin shouted.

And so, back to the contest…

After that usual stubbornness for his name, Zura came back to the middle of the stage together with his pet (?), Elizabeth.

"You may have noticed it already, but let me introduce myself again…I am Exorcist Ka-*bleeep*," an anger mark was carved into his face, " Your host for today. And now, the next match will be entitled… (Change BG: sparkly sparkly, fluffy fluffy)EVERY CUTE GUYS ARE DESTINED TO MAKE GIRLS GO *girly voice with matching cutely popping his feet* 'KYAAAAAAAH' A"

"What?"

"Huh?"

Confusion aroused to the audience.

"In this match, every contestant would battle for the cutest, most talented and guy with most appeal! " Zura continued.

Eli's placard says: "Like me."

This time, tomatoes came flying from every audience and not just tomatoes, everything that they could carry are thrown to him.

*Eli's scary eyes*

~~~silence~~~~

Having a glimpse of Elizabeth's real form, the audience just stopped throwing due to fear beyond imagination.

"Because of the theme of this match, the judges should only be girls. So the first one is….The most gorgeous and the queen of all HAMS! Yachiko! Let's give her a round of applause!" Katsura continued.

She stood up from the judge's seat, "Hey I am not a ham!" then she waved at the audience.

"Then our Chairwoman of the board…..The mysterious and taciturn, Mashiro!"

*crowd cheering*

"Since there are only 2 judges, then..It can't be helped" Katsura said, and started unbuttoning his coat, "I guess I shou-"

Another flying wooden sword hit Katsura's head.

"UWEEEEE! The hell are you doing, you idiot? You're not planning on cross dressing to be a judge, are you?" Gins angrily shouted at Katsura.

He stopped taking off his clothes, and with an upset look he said, "Tch. And I even prepared a Lenalee Lee cosplay."

"You really just wanted to do it, don't you?"Shinpachi said.

Katsura changed the direction of his vision to the guys down the stage; they were holding a some kind of placard there with something written on it. It says: "Pick that China girl in the back."

"China girl?" he tried finding a girl that fits that description, "Ahhh! Leader!"

She was on the back of the audience, with an unsatisfied look while eating her sukonbu.

"The last judge would be that young lady in the back….Kagura-dono!" said he while pointing the girl he just mentioned.

Everyone's attention was already on her.

"Eh? Me?" the puzzled girl asked.

A staff came to her and led her to where the other judges were, though she was still confused she had no choice but to just go with it.

"Oi, my great skills for judging is not for free! You should give me free sukonbu!" she demanded. _Hehe..then I'd be the one to judge that sadist._

"By the way, the scores for this match will 50-50…50% coming from the judges, and 50% coming from the fan girls in the audience." Zura said and pointed the group of girls in the audience.

They were holding some banners and posters with forbidden-looking pictures.

"GinHijiiiiiiii!" one of them shouted.

Yes, they were comrades of Mashiro.

"Hey! I told you Hijikata is for Sougo!" the other contradicted.

"Yeah! And Gin is for Zura!"

"No, Zura is for Takasugi!"

"Ahhh! Takasugi is for Kamui!"

"Shinpachi X Zakiiiiiii!"

The battle of fujoshis (an otaku who loves boyXboy pairings) began. They were already using such illicit languages (fujoshi language) that most of the audiences were already traumatized.

"They're different kind of fan girls, aren't they?" Shinpachi said.

Though he was so calm about it, the guy beside him was already producing a fiery aura due to immeasurable hatred.

"Oi Shinpachi! They were the source of that GinHiji pairing, right? Should I bring them to Sorachi for corrupting the image of his main character in his manga, huh? huh?" Gins shouted, "Or….. *evil aura* should I show them the real wrath of Shiroyasha? Hehehehehe…" a grin similar to a devil's was carved to his lips, even his eyes shows no rationality anymore.

"Mou, stop that Gin-san. Even the anime still hasn't shown it, right?" Shinpachi said. *fish eyes*

But Gin was not listening, he still continued to spread that deadly aura he's emitting.

"And now, the contestants! Let me introduce the first to present to us, Yuuichi! Together with Gintoki and Shinpachi!"

"EH?" Shinpachi and Gin (who just came back to his senses) shouted at the same time.

"OI! What the hell are you saying Zura? Why are we participating in this contest? " Gin added, who was already coming up the stage to come nearer Katsura.

"And why are we with the enemies,HUH?" Shinpachi yelled.

Zura was holding a note, "Ehh..By the way if you win this match, you will be granted chocolate parfaits and some Otsuu's collectibles."

"HAH! You think we would be bribed by that?" Gin looked at the glasses guy beside him, *SLURP*"Naa?... Shinpachi?" he said while holding an empty glass of parfait and a spoon. *licks his mouth*

"Uhh..Gin-san, May I ask what you are holding?" Shinpachi asked, while forcing a smile.

He showed the glass,"Ah, this? It's a gift from heaven; it's just too rude to reject it, right? Kami-sama (God), must be rewarding me for the good deeds I've done."Then raised it, " HAI! SECONDS PLEAAASE!"

A guy from the staff (or rather a follower of Yuuichi's family) gave him another glass of parfait.

"You were just bribed, right? Ahhhhh! Gin-san! We're here to help Kagura, right? I thought you would help them win this match?" Shinpachi started lecturing Gin, "Look, *points Kagura* Kagura-chan is trying her best to stop this engagem-"

"HAI! ANOTHER BOWL PLEASE!"

And there Shinpachi saw Kagura continuously eating with empty bowls piling up beside her. There were too many that you can barely see her face.

Shinpachi just stared at her with displeased look, together with his lifeless voice like he loss hope already; he just spoke, "Ah. She was bribed too."

It was loud enough for her to hear.

"Oi Shinpachi! This is different! It's a 'gift *munch munch*..…with compensation!" Kagura defended.

"UWEEEE! That's just the same!" he shouted back at her.

"Yeah, yeah. Oi Kagura, stop eating that! *Sluurp* It's a trap! Hmmm….this is delicious." Gin added, while still swallowing his parfait.

"Like you're the one to talk, Gin-san. "Shinpachi said, "*sigh* Mou, the two of you, get serious already. Don't be blinded by your materialistic desires, even if they would be giving Otsuu-chan's collectibles, I won't fall for i- "

Zura spoke again, "Plus, a date and commemoration photo with Otsuu-chan!"

Without second thought, with a speed comparable to a cheetah, Shinpachi was already on stage dragging along the natural perm with him.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING GIN-SAN? Yuuichi-san asked for our help, right? and we're the Yorozuya, so we must help him!" Shinpachi shouted, who already had changed his outfit into President of Otsuu-chan's fans club.

"Oi Megane! Now where did your speech go? Hah! Don't bring your desperate love for that idol here, you virgin! Tch." Kagura shouted.

With those words that hit him 'Bull's eye'. It infuriated Shinpachi, he shouted, "It's not like I wanted to be a vir-"

Gin stopped his movements to interrupt Shinpachi, "Maa Patsuan, Kagura's right. And beside's there's no way they could bring that Otsuu her- "

"And also Ketsuno Ana!" Zura added.

Now the tables have turned, Gin was already on stage dragging along the glasses guy with him.

"Hai, Yorozuya at your service. *teeth sparkle*" Gin said trying to look cool.

"You traitors! Don't blame me when you and that ham are already married!" Kagura shouted again.

"Shut up you stupid brat! Customers come first before us!" Gin replied.

"Wait, Gin-san, are you sure about this?" Shinpachi whispered to Gin.

"Don't worry, I already mastered Cr**s A*ge*'s magic tricks."

*sweat drop*

Rewind, rewind, rewind….

After Zura had introduced the judges, Mashiro and Ha—err, Yachiko just sat beside each other.

Yachiko started a conversation with Mashiro, "Heh. Mashiro, you know what to do, right? We made you the chairwoman of the board for yo-"

""

A sleeping Mashiro responded to her, with saliva flowing from her mouth.

"Hey Mashiro! Wake up!" Yachiko shouted, and began shaking her shoulders.

"Mmmmm…" she finally opened her eyes even just a bit, "Ah?..." and saw a human size ham in front of her, _I must be too hungry before I slept that the Ham Fairy is here._" Don't bother me, and besides, I don't give a damn on this contest."

Note: For those who didn't know Mashiro's secret, she is seen as the silent type of girl with the 'I-don't-care' attitude

"Don't tell me you slept late again because of a horror movie, huh?"

"Ie, I've had enough of horror movies,_(it's because I found my beloved doujinshis again)_ so just stop talking to me and let me sleep,okay?"

"Fine, fine. Just do what we told you."

Then Zura announced, "And now, the contestants! Let me introduce the first to present to us, Yuuichi! Together with Gintoki and Shinpachi!"

"Did you hear that Mashiro?" Yachiko asked with so much enthusiasm in her eyes, *sparkling* "HAH! Now the winner has been settled, there's no way that Sadist prince would win against the ever invincible Gintoki-sama! Hahahahahahaha! Ahhhhhh…Then, after this match…I will….*blushing* finally say these feelings I've been hiding for so long!" Yachiko dreamily said, who courageously wore a sailor uniform that doesn't fit her already, and pig tails without consideration to the people who would see her and trying to be a main character in a shoujo anime who's about to confess her undying love

"To all the readers, just forget what you are seeing. Please forgive indecency of this scene." Mashiro said while looking at the camera.

"Hey Mashiro, you would help me, okay? So that Gin would finally be mine! Hahahahahaha~!" she continued.

She was too immersed with her thoughts that she failed to hear what Mashiro just said.

"There's no way Gintoki Sakata would be yours, he would always be just for Hijikata Toshiro. GinHiji forever, yeah!" Mashiro whispered to herself.

"Huh? You saying something , Mashiro?"

She just faced Yachiko and held her shoulders firmly, "Boys or girls, Humans or HAMS….Love has no boundaries."

"H-hams?"

On the stage..

"C-cr**s An**l? you don't mean we will perform a magic trick here?" Shipachi asked while looking so anxious after hearing what his partner just said.

"Isn't that obvious? Girls love magic, so we could win if we used magic." Gin replied.

"But Gin-san, do you even know how to do it?"

"Don't worry; I didn't create the Yorozuya for nothing. We're the Odd Jobs, so there's not a thing that we couldn't do."

Gin tried to look cool again with his speech, but it just added anxiety to the glasses guy he's with.

"We're done for." Shinpachi just said.

On the judge's part….

Yachiko began cheering (or should we call it cursing?) on Gin, "Ahhhhhhh…Gin-san is just so cool! Go Gin! I know you will win th-!"

*bite*

Before she could inflict an insurmountable damage to Gin's humanity that could never be taken back anymore, Sadaharu had already bitten her head.

"Hah! Way to go Sadaharu, that Ham girl had caused too much nightmare for everyone here." Said Kagura, while munching sukonbu again with her feet resting on the top of the table.

_Wait, where's that sadist anyway?_

"Ahhhh…It's too boring here. Let's go Sadaharu." Kagura spoke, then rode on her pet's back, "And hunt that sadist."

"Arf!"

As they reached the room, it was locked with a note hanging on the door saying, "Don't disturb the Sadist, but if you insist, JUST DIE please."

But it didn't affect Kagura even just a bit, instead she knocked at the door just to tease her rival.

"Oi sadist! A growing healthy boy, huh? or don't tell me, 'You have'. hahahahahaha! That's good news! All your fan girls would know that you're really a girl!" Kagura said while grinning to tease him even more.

No one was answering, so it annoyed Kagura.

She was about to kick the door, "Uggghhhh….Konno yar-"

The door opened on its own, and what funny scene it showed her. A sadist named Sougo was covered in a white blanket looking so isolated with dark auras around him.

"Wehhhh? Is that you, Sadist? Don't tell me you would cosplay Casper?"

*BAAAAANGGG!*

She was answered by a slam on the door.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" she couldn't hold her laugh anymore, "Casper, the friendly ghost? HAHAHAHAHA! Nice one Sadist, entertain me further later , okay? HAHAHAHA."

And she came back to the judge's seat.

Back to the stage…

"Now everyone, before my assistant Shinpachi and I perform….Let me first give you stimulant! Here's Yuuichi…." Gin said.

_Hah! I'm such a genius! There's no way a main character from just a mere fanfic could defeat the real main character of the anime series! Hahahaha! we will win this for sure! _Yuuichi thought to himself while coming up the stage.

"With the whole years you've been living in this world, this will be the first time that you would see a BOUNCING HAM! Music please…"

*Boink…boink…boink boink boink….. Boink…boink…boink boink boink….. Boink…boink…boink boink boink…..*

The fact that almost all of the audiences were Yuuichi's family's underlings, Gin just pitied how they looked that even with the disgusting performance they are seeing, they had to cheer for their master. It was too sickening for them that one would not be able to know what kind of expression they are having. But well, the fan girls were just throwing their sign boards to Yuuchi.

Gin had no choice but to kick him out of the stage.

"Ehhhh…..after that nauseating performance..errr….appetizer….Let's move on with our most awaited performance! " Gin started, "My assistant here would go to this 'magical' box, and I will light it with fire…and VOILA! He'd be gone!" then he held Shinpachi to lead him to that box.

"Oh yes ,Gin-san! I would be GONE for good!" Shinpachi said while trying to take off Gin's hands from him.

"Shinpachi-kun, all you need to do is trust me." Gin said while looking straight to his eyes with their faces too close with each other's.

Of course that would give happiness to the fan girls.

"KYAAAAAAAAAH!"

Gin looked at them angrily, "Uruse! You fan girls!"then he faced Shinpachi, " Whatever, just go inside the box Shinpachi!"

Shinpachi had no choice but to go with it, after Gin's ritual (?) he lit the box. And as expected, after 2 seconds, Shinpachi went out that box with fire in his butt.

"!"

He hurriedly came down the stage.

"KYAAAAAAAAAH!" the fan girls screamed, since Shin was near them.

Gin put a curtain on the box then took it off, "There everyone, you saw it! My assistant is gone from the box!" he said while he raised his sum kinda staff thing.

Zura, on the other hand, was STUPIDLY amazed with their act.

"T-that's impossible! He was really gone! Gintoki! C-could you be…..Cr**….Cr** Br**n?" Zura said.

"Ie, that's a different person." Gin replied.

"And to think the girls went 'KYAAAAAH' with your performance, Gintoki! You really are invincible!"

"Ie, I don't think they really wanted to scream, 'KYAAAAH'."

"Everyone! Let's give them a round of applause!" then he went to Gin, "C-can I have your autograph, Cr** Br**n-dono?" he was even blushing.

"I told you that's a different person! And you just called me Gintoki, right?"

"Ah, I see, I see….Your fans might swarm here that it would ruin the show."

"Zura! I beg you! Stop your idiocy and just continue the match!"

Gin just came down the stage still with full confidence together with Yuuchi who just continued his bouncing steps.

"Hah. He just lit Shinpachi's butt. How stupid." Kagura said who's already bored with the show.

Zura continued his hosting, "And now, let us witness the second contestant….Introducing, the prince of Planet Sadist …..Souichirou Okita!"

Because of too much trauma from his sadism, everyone in the audience had already brought their own bullet proof vest, shields and everything that can be bought from the weapon shop to defend themselves from his deadly bazooka attacks. It was expected from him that he'd bring weapons, but…

He was just holding a normal guitar…

Everyone was stunned with that sight.

He was serious but he's not angry or sadistic when he faced the audience. He wore blue pants and a white polo with ribbon in his collar. He covered this with a blue jacket. Everything looked simple to him.

"Oi, why's he using his bishounen looks now, huh? Don't tell me he wanted to transfer to a shoujo anime?" Gin said.

They all stared at him peacefully; even the fan girls were just paralyzed from where they were standing with the pheromones he was emitting. Some of them were already fantasizing (or fan girling) about him.

"S-sadist? " her stare was completely locked on to the view of her *husband*.

After minutes of silence, he took out his mega phone and finally spoke.

*dead pan tone*"Hai! To that gluttonous and monstrous China girl sitting over there…*points Kagura*"

Then he just smiled, a smile only meant for the girl he was staring keenly at, the whole time, "This is for you."

It gave Kagura a big blush on her face.

"KYAAAAAAAH! SOUGO KAWAII! SOUGO KAKOI! SOUGO DAISUKI!OKIKAGU FOREVEEEEEER!"

It was a scream coming from the two girls who were almost on the stage.

"Oi Shinpachi." Gin called.

"Hai, Gin-san?" Shinpachi replied, who was putting a cold compress on his butt.

"Those two girls who seemed to come from the real world..Don't tell me…."

"Yes Gin-san…They are the…" then both of them looked at those girls.

They both said, "Autho-"

*squeal of a fan girl inserted*

Sougo Okita was already strumming his guitar.

It overwhelmed the audience that they were just staring at him, with all ears on him. The two girls in front just continued squealing, and even nose bleeding. (sougo's pheromones were too much for them.)

He began singing.

_Is it wrong?_

_To feel the way I do?_

_Will I go on?_

_With this feeling that I have.._

_Could it be sure?_

_If you open up your heart for me.._

_If baby I will say…_

The strums of his guitar echoed all over the place. It sounded so calm that you could feel the player tenderly plucking its strings. His voice was so gentle, like he was an angel or a grim reaper who could take away your soul with his song.

It was too much that one of the fan girls in front already fainted.

Her companion just held her and said, "Get a grip, Rh-"

*squeal of a fan girl inserted*

"T-thank you, Sou-"

*speaker: Max volume*

The song just continued.

_That I love you my angel_

_For you're the one who makes me feel…feels my heart with everything.._

_That I need you my angel_

_Will I ever hold your hand..and whisper what I truly feel for you.._

He was so serious while singing like he's able to feel each word from that song that he utters. It was like…he was driven away by the song…

_How can I start to tell you?_

_This feeling makes me weak.._

_Will I keep this love forever?_

_Ignore my love for you?_

_Could it be sure, if you open up your heart for me.._

_If baby I will say….._

_That I love you my angel_

_For you're the one who makes me feel…feels my heart with everything.._

_So I need you my angel_

_Will I ever hold your hand..and whisper what I truly feel for you.._

All throughout the song, Sougo Okita's reddish brown eyes were completely fixed with just one maiden present in that place, even with all the girls there, it was still Kagura, his 'wife' .

_How can I say?_

_When will I start?_

_Oh I am afraid, I am afraid…_

_How can I say?_

_I'm scared on loosing you.._

_That I love you my angel_

_For you're the one who makes meme feel…feels my heart with everything.._

_So I need you my angel_

And Kagura, at the same time, was just staring at him, not caring about her surroundings. It was just him that is important for her.

_Will I ever hold your hand.._

He just smiled, it was the same from before, and they were both staring at each other like it was only the two of them in that place.

"_and whisper what I truly feel for you-"_

*BOOOOOOG!*

Without any notice, almost half of the ceiling fell straight to him. There was a great deal of impact that it produced some smoke and covered the location of the incident.

"S-sadist!" Kagura shouted.

With too much fear and shock, she couldn't move at all. She was able to stand up but her feet remained in place, refusing to move a step from there.

_H-hah! What am I afraid of? There's no way that sadist could be dead! Gin-chan told me sadists have long lives, and he's telling the truth, right? and besides, he's the main character here! There's no way they could kill h—_

But her thoughts were stopped…

"So slow, China girl." Mashiro said and stared at Kagura with teasing eyes.

"Oi, You were that g-" Kagura exclaimed.

She still couldn't move, Kagura was forced to just watch a stranger come to the rescue of her supposed to be 'husband.' She wanted to grab her hand and beat her death and when she dies she would torture and beat her again then feed her to Sadaharu but still her movements are stopped.

The smoke was still there, and she couldn't see a thing on what's happening on the stage.

Thankfully, the damage was not that much that it just affected the stage. Zura and the other staffs were far enough to be safe from the incident while the audience panicked due to shock. but then, Sougo was the only one who got injured.

back to Kagura...

"SAAAADIIIIIIST! COME HERE AND I'LL SERIOSULY BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!" Kagura shouted, with fiery auras around her.

She was so furious probably because of that conversation she had with Mashiro. She just hurried to the stage looking like a monster looking for its prey.

The fog had gone slowly, bit by bit Kagura was able to see everything in the stage. And when, it completely disappeared, a great scene awaited her…

Mashiro, on top of Sougo, her hands were on both sides of his head, her right leg was in between his thighs then the other one was beside his left thigh. She was even staring keenly at him like they were talking about 'something'.

Mashiro felt Kagura's presence so she looked back and saw her. She just stared at her, with a smirk that says, 'I won.'

Kagura was just frozen from her position, "D-don't tell me…."

"It's exactly as how you see it, China girl." Mashiro replied.

~~~sileeeeeeeence~~~~~

"Y-you're…you're a zombie?"

"Eh? Zombie?"

"Ack….Gross…." Kagura said, then held her mouth like she's about to vomit, "You wanted to eat that sadist's internal organs, right? *stopping her vomit*"

Then she walked a step back from where she was, and pointed her umbrella to her, "Oi, Mashed Potato!"

"It's Mashiro."

"Ashirogi Muto! Tell me, are you that kind of zombie who invades other's lawns and eat the owner's brains? Hah! Too bad for you, that sadist doesn't have a brain! And besides it's already out of fashion, Ang** Bir** is already the fad these days! "

_Wait, don't tell me that's how she interpreted this scene? _Mashiro said to herself.

"Hmmm…..Or maybe that zombie with Umbrella something from Raccoon city? Ughh….that's more disgusting!" *vomits*

_Heeeh….then let's try this out. _"And what if I am?" then she stood up, and took a step, "Too bad, Ojou-chan. I already inoculated my virus with this guy and there's no way you could save him."

"Hah! I'm telling you, his sadism inside his body is just too strong that it would just devour that virus you're talking about!" Kagura said.

Mashiro just walked pass kagura and whispered, "Well, good luck Kagura." _Now this is . Change of plans._

Sougo was just left lying on the floor. Kagura just stared at him.

*SLAP* "Oi, you're not yet dead, right?" *SLAP SLAP* "Oi, stop that act and start waking up, sadist!"

*Puuuunch-*

But her hand was caught by the medics, "Uhhhh…L-little missy, let us handle this."

They carried Sougo and brought him to the stretcher.

After all those ruckus, everyone came back to the match's location. Though the stage was still in mess, Zura just stood in the stairs of the stage.

"Everyone, we're sorry for the commotion a while ago, but don't worry, no one got injured. By the way, if you liked that bombing thing, just tell me and have the chance to join Joui-"

Flying wooden sword coming up!

"Oi Zura! Don't tell me you're the culprit for that!" Gin shouted,

"Of course not, Gintoki. I don't have the free time to ruin a small place like this."

"Yeah, but you have time to be a host."

"I only care about saving our country, saaa….Join me, Gintoki! And together we will take down those corrupted officials and-"

Another wooden sword hit him.

"Ehem…Ehem….Now then, even with that ruckus, the judges were able to give points to the performer and here it is!"

A big flat screen tv appeared beside Zura.

"For the first performer, here's the score…."

First judge; score: 0 comment: why don't you just go to Tokyo Tower and quietly kill yourself there? Another sukonbu please!

"She was just not watching, right? And what's with that Tokyo tower?" Shinpachi commented.

Second judge; score: 10000 comment: Gin-san! you're the best! Now we can be marri- *some parts were omitted*

"Uweeeeee! Stop that! Somebody stop her! I beg you, I'll give you 300 yen!" Gin said who was on the verge of vomiting.

Third judge; score: 7 comment: Love that scene with Shinpachi but don't ever cheat with Hijikata. PS. I'm just voicing out the fan girls' thoughts

"Oi! Another freak is included here!" Gin shouted.

"Since 10 is the highest, the 10000 score would just be counted as 10. Then to the next one…."

First judge; score: 9 comment: w-well, it was not that bad…I guess….Sadaharu says he loves it too…

Second judge; score: 9 comment: hah! not so bad for a brat like you! Though Gin would always be the best, you still have my praise…By the way, please attend our marr- *some parts were omitted*

"AHHHH! Just kill me, please just kill me. *vomits*" Gin said.

Third judge; score: 10 comment: I guess, Hijikata is really just for Gin. PS. Again I'm just voicing out the fan girls' thoughts

"I told you, why that mayo freak again? "

"And now, the votes of the fan girls in the audience!"

*drum roll*

SOUICHIROU OKITA

" With the score of 28 and the votes of the girls, the overall winner is, the second performer, the one who captivated the girls' hearts, Souichirou Okita!"

And thus, the score was 1-1. It was a tie for the ham siblings and the sadistic duo.


	8. Chapter 8

Okaaaay..because of that tooo much long chapter we decided to split it up, so this is now chapter 8...

I hope you would also enjoy it! Please forgive me for using some Japanese words here; I just think it's better that way? Oh well, we would be very happy to hear your opinions from these chapters!

After that announcement, Kagura locked herself on their (Her and Sougo's) room. Even thought they won, she was sulking in her bed, thinking about the incident that happened a while ago.

"If that sadist dies, then I won't have a rival anymore." She said to herself.

Though she won't admit it to herself, she's worried to death with the sadist.

"Hah. It's not like I'm really worried about him."

Then with her sharp ears, she heard feint voices coming from outside the room. So she came down from her bed and tried listening well with the voices.

"Ne Gin-san." the first voice said.

"What is it, Shinpachi?" the second voice answered.

_Ohh… It's Gin-chan and Shinpachi…_ Kagura thought, and fixed her position to listen more.

Outside the door….

"Do you know that story?" Shinpachi spoke and he was obviously trying to make his voice louder for the girl eavesdropping on them to hear.

"Ah, yes, yes….That, 'Sleeping Sadist and the seven dwarves'."

Then Shinpachi whispered to Gin, "Chotto Gin-san, It's Slee**** Bea*** and she never had any dwarves!"

"Ahhhh….Whatever, they're just the same, right? They're both princesses from fairy tales."Gin replied.

Then Shinpachi spoke with his normal voice again, "Sou, sou….That's it, Gin-san. How'd the story goes again?"

"Ehhhh….Let's see…."

_Once upon a time….._

"We're turning into story telling mode now?" Shinpachi commented.

_There was this sadistic prince who had step brothers and a step father._

"Oi, that's Cindere***, right?"

_His mother turned into a masochist because of him since she had too much son complex that she would allow him to act sadistic towards her. He treated his brothers and father like slaves; that they just couldn't take it anymore. _

"Isn't it the other way around? And what the hell did you do with his mother?"

_Even if they love what he was doing to them, they were forced to throw him into the forest where no one else lives. They told him, "Bakaiser! Granny wolf has summoned you to the woods!" and he wore a red riding hood._

"Gin-san! The story's too messed up already!"

"Shhh..just let me continue."

_But he had forgotten that their grandmother had already died, plus she's a human not a wolf. _

"Just how stupid can that prince be?"

_And so, as he continued his journey to the forest; he saw a little house. It was made of biscuit._

"Now it's Han*** and Gre***? Ahhh! Gin-san! just let me do the story telling!"

_But he just blew it with his bazooka, since he saw the mayo monster covering it with mayonnaise._

"How can there be mayonnaise? And bazookas don't exist in fairy tales!"

_Then he walked again, and there he saw another little house. There he decided to take a rest and sleep quietly. And when he woke up, he saw 7 dwarves around him. He thought, "Heh. Now I have new set of slaves." _

"Just how bad does he wanted slaves?"

_And just as how he planned things to be, the dwarves turned into his slaves. He made them work for him 24/7 without paying them. The little men just obeyed him without any hesitance; they just love how he punished them. _

"Why does everyone around him turns into a masochist?"

_And so, Witch Gori, the witch from the banana tree near the cliff saw how awful he treats the dwarves. She just said, "I have to punish him before the dwarves turn into hard core masochists!" Thus, he had created a poisoned banana. _

"Why is it banana? It was supposed to be an apple, right?"

_After completing it, he came into the Prince of Sadist's house. And when the sadist came out, she said, "Little boy, do you want a banana?" the sadist replied, "Nah, I don't need it….unless, it's frozen."_

"Why did he need it frozen?"

_The witch answered, "Don't worry, you can put it on your refrigerator." He accepted the offer and said, "Perfect, now I can make banana split."_

"Just how modern can this prince be?"

_And so, just as the witch told him, he put it in their refrigerator then after it has frozen, he started making his banana split. He ate it, and suddenly fainted. It was to frozen that it got stucked in his throat and he couldn't breathe anymore._

"Ahhh…I just don't know what to say anymore."

_The dwarves returned to the house and saw the sight of Prince Sadist lying on the floor. He was not breathing anymore. They laid him into a coffin (just think of Sn** Wh**e's coffin). They all mourned because there'd be no one to punish them anymore._

"So in the end, it was just punishment that they wanted?"

_And then came the fairy godmother, she saw the pitiful state of Prince Sadist, and told the dwarves, "Only the kiss of true love from an orange haired China girl with blue eyes and pale complexion can cure him." _

"Isn't that way too specific?"

_But then the fairy godmother's phone rang, and she said, "Oh sorry. I have an appointment with Cindere***, gotta go, dwarves! If ever you have problems again" then she gave her business card, "Just call me."_

"That fairy godmother sure is busy, huh?"

_The dwarves lost hope since they knew no one else knows that place. So they tried their last resort, that is, to use sukonbu as a bait to lure that girl!_

"Why sukonbu?"

_And so, they laid loads of sukonbu on the ground following the path to the Prince's coffin. The plan was a success, seconds after putting the bait, a China girl appeared munching heaps of sukonbu in her mouth. She stood before the Prince. There was a sign there that says, "Kiss him and you'll get more sukonbus." She swallowed every bit of sukonbu left in her mouth, and went nearer the Prince's face. Without a second thought, she kissed him; her lips gently brushing against him. Finally, the Prince was awake. He saw the China girl and said, "Oi, marry me, I have lots of sukonbus here."_

_After long they got married, and lived happily ever after. The end._

"Wait Gin-san, how is that related to Okita-san having a zombie virus in his body?" Shinpachi whispered to Gin.

"By the way, that poisoned banana was bitten first by those zombies who invaded the lawn of the Witch Gori before it was given to the Prince." Gin said with voice louder than a while ago.

"But Gin-san, there are no Bananas in Pla*** vs Zomb***!" Shinpachi contradicted.

"Whatever, it's still a plant."

Shinpachi made his voice louder, "T-then, it could also be a cure to a person with a zombie virus, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever kind of Zombie that is, they have the same cure. Takeshi-kun from the neighborhood was cured because of that."

"And who the hell is that Takeshi-kun, Gin-san?"

"*looks at the camera* Watch Gintama episode 219 and you'll know it! "

"Gin-san, are you sure this will be effective?"

"Just trust me Patsuan, she'll belie-"

*BAAAAM!*

The door opened. Kagura stood in front of the two.

"Oi, Gin-chan, does it also work with Zombies from Raccoon city?" she asked with eagerness in her eyes.

He just nodded.

In just a flash, the girl in front of them had already run away, only her rapid footsteps could b heard.

Gin just smiled with satisfaction, "In the spring of her youth, huh?"

The story behind that story telling thing…..

After the announcement of winners, Gin and Shinpachi just stayed there while waiting for Shin's butt to get well.

A girl suddenly approached the two.

"Gintoki Sakata, I have to talk to you." The girl said.

Hearing a voice, Gin just looked up and saw the owner of those words.

"Eh! You were that chairwoman of the board from a while ago?" Gin shouted and pointed her.

"Gin-san, who are you talking t-" his words stuttered just by looking at the girl near him.

BG: sparkly sparkly wind blowing Sound effects: *an oujo-sama (lady) like chuckle*

Everything was in slow motion as he gazed upon the girl. Men, she looked so beautiful in Shin's eyes that his stare was completely fixed on her face.

*JAW DROOOOOP*

_Oh no, I already have Otsuu-chan! I have already sworn my loyalty to her!_

Mashiro suddenly smiled at him. And at that instant, he stood up.

"S-s-s-shinpachi Shimura desu!" he shouted with trembling voice that sounded so nervous,"Y-y-yoroshiku Onegaishemasu! (nice to meet you)" *bows*

"Mashiro. Same here." She coldly replied.

Gin began scratching his head, "Nanda? What the hell is with this 'love at first sight' atmosphere? Ughh….It's disgusting, Shinapachi."

"You didn't need to say that!" Shinpachi shouted at the natural perm, and then he sat beside Gin trying to get nearer Mashiro.

"Hai, hai…So, what do you wanted to tell me, Mashed Potato." Gin said.

"Gin-san, it's Mashiro! How can you get someone's name so wrong? Mou…."Then he smiled at that girl, "Mashiro-san, please forgive his rudeness."

"Mah, I don't really care. " she replied, "Getting to the real point. I want you to be a Cupid."

"Huh? Cupid? It's too girly! I ref-" Gin complained.

But his companion's mouth was faster than his, "Roger, Mashiro-san! we'll do it right away!" Shinpachi shouted with enthusiasm.

"Oi, I never said I agree with it!"

"Don't worry, it's not for me, but for that China girl you are with." She said.

"Huh? That Kagura? Pfffft! You must be kidding me! Love doesn't exist in that girl! Her sukonbu is the only thing she could think of!" Gin replied.

"I think you are forgetting the genre of this fanfic? And remember chapter 6? You were even the one who told Sougo Okita, right?"

_If you don't want her to misunderstand your intentions, just tell her you feelings ASAP._

"Ah." he just said as he remembered everything.

"Wait, Mashiro-san, how can we act as cupid?" Shinpachi interrupted.

"Eh? Don't tell me it's with that sadist? Uggghh….Oi, this would be the end of the world I tell you." Gin said.

"You just have to make Kagura kiss Sougo." She blatantly said.

"HUH?" Shinpachi and Gin shouted.

"H-hey, they're too young for that, right? p-plus Kagura's father is here." Gin said.

"14 years old is not too young for a first kiss and if it's in private no one else will be able to know it!" she said with too much confidence.

"E-eh? A-and besides, it's too impossible for that, and we can't force Kagura to do it." Shinpachi added.

"Just play around with her mind, and I'm sure she'd be the one to take the initiative to kiss that sadist. She believes whatever you say, right Gin-san?" Mashiro said.

"W-well, yeah…But, why do they even need to kiss?" Gin asked.

"Because a kiss is where feeling conscious from each other begins, it is when you are able to look at the other person as the opposite gender…Thus, developing some feelings you never had before or you've been denying before….and finally, accepting those feelings as love and confessing to each other!" Mashiro boldly explained, "It always happens on shoujo mangas."

*sparkling eyes*

The both of them just clap with the astonishment like all their questions in life were already answered.

"All hail shoujo animes!" they both shouted.

_Nah, Yaois are still the best._"Don't worry I have taken care of that sadist already, it's just Kagura that we have to be concerned about." She added.

"Wait, why are you helping those two anyway?" Gin asked.

"Well, Sougo Okita helped me before. This is just a return gift to him. And besides, I just want them to get together already. I mean, it would eventually happen, right?"

"Yeah, I want this fanfic to end already so that I would be the main character again." Gin said.

"The authors would get mad at you, Gin-san." Shinpachi said, "But not with Mashiro-san. *smiles*"

"Well, at least we all have the same intentions and it would benefit us all." Then she smiled again, "So, good luck to us."

_Angel! She's an angel!_ Shinpachi thought who was already drooling there.

"Ja, I've thought of a way for that 'kiss' already."Gin said as he stood up from his seat," C'mon Patsuan, Let's go." Then he started walking.

But Mashiro grabbed his shoulder, "Wait, I have but one thing to ask you, Gintoki Sakata." She asked with eagerness painted on her face.

He looked back at her, "What is it?"

"How far have you gone with Hijikata Toushirou?" *sparkling eyes*

~~~~~sileeeeence~~~~~

. . . . . . .

*face in front* *walks….walks…..RUNS!*

"I guess he's just too shy to tell me." Mashiro said.

_Ahhhhh! I've had enough of it! Please Kami-sama! Tell them to stop pairing me with that mayo freak!I _Gin thought as he ran away from Mashiro. And well, Shinpachi just followed him.

Back to the running Kagura….

_Hah! Just watch me you disgusting zombie from Resid*** Ev**! I will save that sadist! Hahahaha! then he would be my slave forever! Mwahahahahaha!_

She continued moving her feet with the fastest speed she could just to reach Sougo who was lying unconscious in the clinic.

After minutes of running, she had arrived in the infirmary where that sadist was. Without hesitance, she opened the door and there she saw Sougo Okita peacefully sleeping like a child.

Mean while, in the midst of the Sougo's dream…..

"Aneueeeeee! I'm coming theeeeeere!" Sougo blissfully spoke with the same expression he had the last time he came there.

"You can't, Sou-chan. You still have lots of things to do on Earth." Mistuba, his sister, told him.

"Eh?"

And he woke up.

_How cool. I was sent to heaven again. _

As he fully opened his eyes, he saw something so extravagant that he thought it would just happen in his wildest dream.

Kagura, his rival, was in front of him. She was leaning her head towards him supporting it by firmly holding the sheets beside his head, while their lips come closer as seconds passed by. Her eyes were closed, her face was blushing intensely.

_Hey what's with this sudden turn of events? Oi, China girl didn't the authors instruct you not to kiss yet?_

Sougo couldn't think well anymore, but her lips were still getting closer and closer. He didn't know what to do. Nearer and nearer and nearer and….

*fish eyes*"Ah…I know."

*dodge*

The only thing that he was able to think of how to escape that kind of situation. He lifted his right shoulder and turned his upper body to the left.

*Toogsh!*

Exactly when he was turning his body, Kagura's head bumped into his shoulder, and to think it was his bone that hit her head, it must've hurt her.

"That hurts Sadist!" she exclaimed, as she held her fore head due to pain from that bump, "*blink blink* Ah. You're already awake?" and changed the direction of her eyes to Sougo.

"You thought I'm already dead?" Sougo asked.

She nodded.

"So now you are raping me?" he added.

"Oi that's not raping! Gin-chan told me that it's the only cure for you!" Kagura defended.

"Huh? Cure for what?"

"That glasses girl bit you! What's her name again? Uhhh…Ah! Ashirogi Muto!"

"Ashirogi Muto? Glasses girl?"he tilted his head, " Ah. That fujoshi."

"Fujoshi?" Kagura asked.

_Flash back….._

_Right after the ceiling fell on Sougo…._

_When Mashiro came to the stage, she grabbed Sougo and*SWISH!* cut the ceiling into half with her SWORD thankfully it just scattered to the two ends of the stage, and now, she's on top of him like those shoujo anime scenes where the guy gets into an accident and before he knows it, he's exactly on top (yes, perfectly positioned without any flaws as always) of the girl._

"_Be thankful, Mr. Bishounen. You saved my 'treasures' so now I'm saving you." Mashiro said._

_Sougo could barely open his eyes with the smoke around them. But bit by bit, he was able to see the girl in front of him, his savior, Mashiro._

"_Heh. That fujoshi again, huh? " Sougo said, ungrateful of his savior._

"_Don't tell me you were expecting that China girl to save you?" Mashiro said with a teasing smile._

_He just looked away._

"_Were you really that SIGNIFICANT that, that girl would come running here just to save you?"_

_BULL'S EYE, it was a critical hit to our sadist, like the ultimate attack of the last boss to a player just beginning the game, a ONE-HIT KILL._

"_Tch.." he just clicked his tongue_

"_You're both too slow, huh? " a sophisticated smirk was carved on her lips, "Then, let me help you a bit."_

_*dead pan*"Shut up, you rotten, failure of the society, perverted, disgusting fujoshi. Mind your own bus-"_

_*PUNCH!*_

_A straight full-force punch landed on his stomach that he lost consciousness._

_End of flash back_

_So this is that help she's saying, huh? _Sougo thought.

"Oi sadist, what does fujoshi mean?" Kagura asked again.

"That term is not for kids, so don't ask me again."

"Oi, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm already a woman!"

"Hai, hai…Whatever suits you."

Then a moment of silence filled the atmosphere as they stared at each other. Their position was, Sougo was on the left side of the bed with his upper body raised, he was holding his blanket, and Kagura was beside him sitting on her knees and her hands on the sheets of the bed.

A thought crossed Sougo's mind, _Heh. Why don't I tease her a bit._

"Ne China." He called.

"What? Sadist?" she answered irritatingly.

"Last night you were calling my name in your sleep, and even said 'I love you'. How will you explain that?" then he gave a smirk.

"Eh? But I was dreaming of Gin-chan last night. I don't remember seeing you or even speaking your name in that dream." She replied with an innocent face that speaks the truth.

*ANGER MARK*

"Ohhhh…Your Gin-chan, huh?" _Hahahahaha (sadistic laugh)….Now my Super Sadistic Instincts are awakening again….Danna, you'll be next to Hijikata-san, I promise that._

"And also Sadaharu was part of that dream. I think Shinpachi was also there, then anego,then-"

"You want to cure me, right China?" he suddenly asked.

"Sou ne! but you're already perfectly fine, right?" she asked back.

"Then come here."

He faced Kagura and just grabbed her without her permission.

"ehhh..Huh?"

Then he wrapped his hands around her neck and snugly hugged her but it was not strong but gentle.

"Then I guess this is enough." he said and gave a grin, "And if you don't hug me back, I won't be healed fully."

"Ehhh…But that's not what Gin-chan told me."

*ANGER MARK* His grip got firmer than before, but it was loose enough for her to breath freely, "China, if you really treasure your Gin-chan's life, then don't mention his name in front of me."

"Ie~aru …I'm not your slave that you could order easily. " and she hugged him back, with her hands encircling around his back holding him firmly but gently

"Then at least become my pet that I could hug like this." *isip ka pang mas malupit na banat dyan…haha*

After a couple of minutes , Kagura fell asleep while in the arms of Sougo.

Somewhere in the universe….

While Kagura and Sougo were being lovey dovey in their room, the real main character of this anime, Gintama, is in a big pinch. It's a serious matter of life and death; it is something that he would just prefer dying peacefully as a dignified HUMAN than living in hell and losing his humanity while he's alive.

And why wouldn't it be?

The greatest threat to his being as a main character is right in front of him; and that is Yachiko, the trying-hard- shoujo-anime-main-character-wanna-be. For some unknown reason, Gin was brought to a different dimension, probably to a shoujo anime location since the place he's in was under a big Sakura tree in spring time with its pink flowers being carried away by the breeze. To sum it all, it was a perfect place for a love confession.

"Ahhhh…..S-shinpachi? " his voice was terribly trembling, "C-c-can you explain to me how the hell did we end up here?"

"Gin-san,"Shinpachi replied then raised his glasses;" You were also there, so you most likely know that we just don't have any idea at all. I mean, after that scene with Kagura, we just disappeared and now we're here."

"AHHHHHHH! I don't care anymore, just let me out here! I BEG YOUUUUUU!" Gin shouted while shaking Shinpachi like there's no tomorrow.

"G-gin-san." a girl's voice called.

*SHIVERS* "N-nani?" he replied, and tried his best to look back at her.

And again, she was trying to be cute and all, so she wore a sailor uniform while having a pony tail hair style, then black knee socks and school shoes. Just how horrible it looks, too nightmarish to anyone who'd be unlucky to witness it.

_Kami-sama! I will do anything just let me escape from this bouncing HAM! Ahhhhh! _

"I-i am really thankful that I would be able to talk to you right now." She started.

"Ahahaha...I don't need your thanks actually." He replied with a disgusted look.

"Finally I could tell you what I've been hiding for so long."

"Then why don't you just hide it your WHOLE life? Don't worry it would fade away soon…Ahahahaha.."

"Actually….I-i-i-*scary scream of a girl inserted* you…..so Gin-san w-will you m-*girliest scream of Gin inserted* me?"

"AHHHHHHH! SAVE ME! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!" he held Shinpachi's shoulders again, "Sa-chan would be fine by me! I prefer a masochistic stalker than this ham! Even that flat chest amazon who would feed me poison everyday; would be great for me! But please not this one! ONEGAIIIIII! " Gin desperately shouted.

*droopy eyes*" Maaa…Gin-san, you don't have to worry, because the writers of this fanfic is…" Shinpachi said.

"Is?" Gin asked.

"A Tsukky X Gin fan!"

Gin suddenly stood up straight like he just came back to the real world.

"Tsukky? You mean that Tsukuyo from Yoshiwara?" he asked again, Shin just nodded.

He became fidgety, he was just looking down, "W-well, yeah…She's beautiful, with gorgeous body… and she's so cool….and she maybe my t-t-type of girl…."

_I-impossible! Don't tell me the reason for all those complains he had when he's paired up with Hijikata-san, is because, Tsukuyo-san is…..Tsukuyo-san is…._ Shinpachi thought as he was too shocked with the actions of Gin.

"A-and we had lots episodes together, they were even major arcs….we even pretended to be a m-m-married couple and had that 'puff puff' action….B-but…." He pouted his lips like a child throwing tantrums, "There's no way she would ever like me….."

_*teary eyes*Way to go, Gin-san! I'm so happy for your courage to say that! And I'm sure Yachiko-san would back out hearing those words…._

Then Gin added, "*droopy eyes* I mean, she's just a drunk terminat-"

*CHHHIIINNNNG*

Before he could finish his sentence, a kunai that came from somewhere unknown had exactly hit Gin's head. Examining how fast its speed was, it was too strong that blood came flowing from the wounded part of his body.

His body just fell down freely.

Somewhere in Yoshiwara…

"Tsukuyo-neesan? Why did you suddenly throw your kunai?" Seita asked.

"Ahhhh….That? I suddenly had the urge to do it." Tsukuyo replied.

It reached her; Gin's voice was too strong that even if they were planets apart, Tsukuyo was able to feel his thoughts of her. How sweet it is, right?

Well, Yachiko was there the whole time so she was able to hear every single word Gin just said.

*teary eyed* "S-sayonnara, my first love! It was so nice to feel the blossoming spring of my youth…..Though it was so short, I will never forget the memories we shared together! Especially our promise under this tree…. *wipes her tears*"

"Eh? What promise was she talking? Did I promise her anything, huh? Shinpachi?" Gin said, while still lying on the floor.

"Gintoki Sakata, I will l- *ringing of ambulance inserted* you forever!"

Thankfully, those were Yachiko's last words, after that, she was gone from that place.

Just to be sure, let's go back to the lovey dovey couple from a while ago…

After Kagura had fallen asleep, Sougo just laid her on his bed. He rested his body next to Kagura, so the two of them were facing each other while asleep.

*camera closing up to them*

Yes, THEY ARE ASLEEP..

*camera getting closer*

THEY SHOULD BE ASLEEP..

"Ah crap, I'm caught." Sougo said when he looked at the camera.

Sougo was already trying to steal a kiss from Kagura while she's already wandering to her dreamland.

*dead pan*"Hai, hai…..No kisses behind the scenes." He just said.

And this time, they really have fallen asleep.

The mysterious silhouette of a man can be seen again, he was holding his cell phone together with his radio playing suspense music to go with the suspense filled atmosphere there.

"Boss, the Shinsengumi brat is still not dead." The voice from the other line of the phone said.

"Where is he right now?" the mysterious g- Oh well, Yahiro asked.

"He's with that China girl, should we kill them both?"

"No, 'HIS' orders are absolute; you can kill the boy but keep the girl unharmed. By the way, get a picture of those two together."

He hung up the call, "When 'HE' comes back, it will really be the end, Mr. Bishounen. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"


	9. Chapter 9

Late update again? *sigh* I'm sooooo sorry… I was too much into drawing fan arts and adobe photoshop these past few weeks. I mean, It's too addicting! I just can't think well for the fanfic. I'm so sorry, Souichirou-chan!

Oh well, I'm so happy that I became friends with some of the readers of this fanfic.

And with that, I wanna greet vampiregirl123 (aka China), (takasugi?)and kurasachi (aka tsukuyo~neesama). Hello~

And by the way, I already saw Sorachi-sensei's face, he looks like a fine human, I tell you.

**Gin, Tsukuyo, Hijikata : hai, Omake deeesu.**

**Gin: Te, Oi! What's with this combination?**

**Rhaide: Konnichiwa readers, torn between two lovers, today..finally you would witness the day Gin would choose between Tsukuyo and Hijikata. Now Gin-san, you can just pick one!**

**Gin: EH? Oi stop it! I don't need someone to pair up with me!**

**Tsukuyo: Ohh..I didn't know Gintoki swing to that side, and even the Demon Vice Commander of Shinsengumi.**

**Hijikata: Oi blondie! Watch your mouth! Don't group me with this guy. **

**Rhai: Saaaa…will Gin choose a heterosexual pairing? Or homosexual? *camera zooms in* TO BE CONTINUED!**

**Gin: *droopy eyes* I will report you to Sorachi Hideaki, seriously.**

"_No matter what happens to me, I will never ever let you get hurt, Sasu**!"_

_The surroundings were so dark, but it didn't stop the guy to go inside that place, just for the sake of that person, he would risk his life for him._

"_I have to save him, even I become blind, I will just use my hand to feel, and if they cut my hands even my feet I will run and run just to be with you again.. I will save you no matter what!"_

_Until he finally arrived at the warehouse; there he is, the most important person in his life, the one he'd been thinking all this time, the one that he'd been worried the most. He was just there, lying on the floor. He had no consciousness; he hurriedly came to him.._

"_Sasu**! Are you alright?" he said while placing Sasu**'s head on his chest, "Tell me, are you alright?"_

_His voice seemed to reach him, slowly, Sasu** opened his eyes and saw the owner of that voice,"Naru**….It's…really you…"_

_It was too obvious how weak he is at that time, probably because of all the wounds that he had on his body._

Pause.

Don't worry; you are on the right track. This is Instant Husband with Romantic and humor genre, an OkiKagu fanfic, a heterosexual couple.

"_Sasu**…Thank goodness you're alive." and he hugged him tight._

"_Naru**..Finally….you came…I've been waiting for you the whole time.."_

"S-S-S-SASUNARUUUU!KYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Mashiro shouted.

Actually she had been reading a SasuNaru doujinshi in her little HQ (secret place for reading/watching yaoi stuffs). It was just a small room with one chair and a study table with a lamp shade beside the bed enough for one person.

"I think I'm gonna die because of the sweetness of these two!" said she while covering her nose with a tissue which is already covered by blood, "KYAAAAH! I'm gonna faint! Heeeeelp! *snort* Okay, to the next page…"

Her heart was beating faster and faster, even her breathe was already heavy as she turn the page of that doujinshi to the next page.

_OMG! I'm sure this will be it! Naru** and Sasu** will….._

"_Sasu**" he looked into his eyes._

"_Naru**" he stared keenly on him._

_After all the trials they have experienced, the two lovers have finally come into each other's arms. _

"_Sasu**…I will never let go of you again."_

"_Me too, Naru**…"_

_Now, nothing can stop their unending love for each other._

_The end._

"Ah. That's it?" said she, then she stood up leaving the book on the table, "No kisses? It doesn't even have the XXXXXXXXX part or any *bleeeeeeeeep* part or a *tooooooooot*, and not even just one kiss? Just those little cuddling? What is this? For elementary school kids?"

[If that's for elementary kids, then the future generation is done for.]

She just let out a sigh, "This bores me. Oh well, guess I'll just try visiting that sadist now."

While walking….

She was just alone in the corridor, heading to the infirmary.

"Ah ahhh….Just as I thought, GinHiji is still the best pairing of all…..Hmmm…But maybe Okita fits well to Hiji…Then there'd a love triangle..Then, Gin would be jealous….then…."

She suddenly stopped, covered her face and squealed," KYAAAAAAAAAH!"Then resumed from walking, " But, maybe Zura can also be the third party….but he's for Takasugi….But then Kamui and Takasugi are just too cool together….."

Finally she had reached the door of the infirmary; she held the knob while still continuing with her Boy's Love fantasies.

"I wonder who would be the seme and the uke." She opened the door, "Then the two would do this and tha- Ah."

In the farthest bed near the windows; there, she saw two people sleeping soundly as if they were in the middle of a good dream. Below them was a very big and furry white dog.

A boy and a girl together in one bed with their faces near each other. The boy's arm was wrapped around the girl's waist holding it gently while the girl's hand is placed on the guy's chest gripping his clothes lightly. He was holding that hand on his chest. One of her legs was on his thigh using it as a cuddle. In short, it was the total opposite of what she was fantasizing a while ago.

"*droopy eyes* What a horrible sight." She just let out a sigh of total disappointment, "And I was in the good part of my day dreaming, then this is what I get? I don't need an OkiKagu fan service, Oi!"

She walked a bit to get nearer to the two, "Tch, Up until now I just don't get it why most people loves these kind of things? Just like this one." Then she stared at the two, "A girl and a boy…there's no thrill! It's too common! *sigh* If it was Hijikata and Sougo cuddling each other then I would even get popcorn and take pleasure in watching the moment. Then I would get camera and video cam and watch it over and over again."

She then sat down near the bed, and stared at them blankly "Should I just kill Kagura right now and bring Hijikata here? Yeah, maybe I should-"

"Ehhh….Indulging yourself with that disgusting world of Yaoi again? "

And with that dead pan tone, she knew right away that it was Sougo who just woke up though he was still not moving just opening his eyes.

"Please just do it alone, it's too nauseating to hear your fantasies." He added.

"Bastard, don't you dare insult Boy's love. It's the most precious treasure of our family."

"Heeeeh….you mean; when two handsome guys immorally falling in love with each other? I would call that trash. "

"You'll never understand the real value that these things hold, it's a treasure for us. And we fully understand the beauty of two guys falling in love even if it's forbidden and they try to fight it 'til the end!"

"Ahhhhhh….So that's why you are inspired right now? Sasunaru, huh?" he said.

Before she noticed it, Sougo had already stolen the doujinshi she was reading a while ago.

He held the book, and started scanning it,"A Love of Unending…." Said he as he read the cover of that doujinshi.

Mashiro tried to get it back from the sadist but she just failed.

"AND WHY ARE YOU READING THAT?" Mashiro shouted, "*sigh* Seriously, girls should just be used for reproduction to produce lots of guys, and you, handsome guys…." she then looked at the imaginative camera," FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER and give girls lots of FAN SERVICE!"

"Waaaai…..there's a freak here. Help." Sougo said with an expressionless look in his face.

Not long after that, maybe because of the indecency of Mashiro's words that sounded too unpleasant to her ears, Kagura, who wouldn't even blink an eye even when an explosion occurred, had finally awoken from her beauty sleep . She rose while slowly opening her eyes, "Eh? What's happening here? " and there, she saw the two who were in the middle of an argument," Sadist? Mashed Potato? "

"Ah. Perfect timing Kagura, you're husband is a homosexual, he's in love with HIjikata, now break up with him."

But when she looked at Kagura, she was already with Sougo and together, they were reading the doujinshi from a while ago.

"Hohhh…..I'm amazed these people are still able to live even when they created such things that corrupt every reader's mind. They must be rotten and perverted to the core." Sougo said while continuing on examining the contents of *SASUNARU: A LOVE OF UNENDING*

"Look Sadist, the author wasn't even able to finish the title, that person must've died already, right?" Kagura said.

"China, you shouldn't read these things, it's not for kids."

"Eh? But I've already watched Junj** Romant***." She answered with pure innocence in her face.

[It is a yaoi anime]

"Next time watch it with Danna. I'm sure he would realize something."

"Yeah, then he and Hijikata would soon get married." Mashiro said joining their conversation.

She was already sitting with Sougo and Kagura in the bed, looking at a faraway place as if being indulged in her own fujoshi world. The two of them just stared at her.

"By the way, perverted-disgusting-rotten-immoral yaoi fan, why are you here?" Sougo seriously asked. Kagura just stared at them.

*anger mark* Mashiro just let out a sigh then stood up and faced Sougo, "Please, be more careful now Bishounen."

Somehow those words gave an ache on Kagura's chest but she just ignored it.

"What are you talking about?" Sougo asked.

"THEY are after your life. They've found out about your real identity and maybe even our plan too."

He gave a smirk, "So that explains what happened yesterday."

"And I've got the feeling, that someone higher than Yahiro is pulling the strings here."

Their conversation was getting deeper and deeper that Kagura couldn't understand a thing though she's been there the whole time listening to them.

"Oi, who are they? And why's that Ham siblings' father's name brought up? And what plan are you talking about?" she continuously asked.

"Didn't this Bishounen told you?" Mashiro asked while pointing Sougo.

He was looking at the side, avoiding Kagura's stare," She's stupid there's no way I would tell her such complicated things. And this kid would just get in our way."

It infuriated Kagura, "Oi! Shut up! You're just a brat too, right? And I'm even stronger than you, you know that!"

He looked at her grimly, "It's none of your business, so just stay out of it."

His voice was as cold as an ice that it gives shivers to your spine and those words spoken from someone she considered as her sworn rival and also as a friend, it hurt her a lot. Thinking that even if they have this unique relationship, she knows he's still someone important for her.

"Wait, something's not right." Mashiro suddenly said.

"What?" Sougo and Kagura asked.

"Where's the punch line in this serious scene?"

"Eh? you just did it." Sougo said.

"And what's with that 'in depth' description above?"

"Maybe the authors are trying to change their way of writing?"

"What? Trying to put some drama in here? Hah! they think that would change the image of this fanfic!" Kagura interrupted.

T-then, continuing from the scene a while ago.

Again, Kagura got mad. She stood up from the bed and punched Sougo's head with full force she has.

"IT IS MY BUSINESS BECAUSE I'M YOUR WIFE!" she shouted at him.

*SHOCK!*

Sougo was stunned with the words she just told him that he had forgotten the pain inflicted on him just moments ago. He looked into her eyes, and he knew it expresses sincerity with her words-

"Eh? Isn't that line too Out-of-character?" Mashiro interrupted again.

*looks at Mashiro*"Saaaa…..it was written on the dialogue, I just followed it." Kagura answered as she slowly rested her butt on the bed.

"Or maybe it's just for fan service?"

"Hah! Don't get your hopes up! It's not like I mean it, I'm just following the authors!" Kagura said looking at the camera.

P-please, just finish this scene.

"Bishounen, I think she has the right to know." Mashiro said while crisscrossing her arms facing the two of them while standing beside them

Kagura stood up to go near the fujoshi girl, "Sou~aru! Now, Mashed Potato! Tell me everything!"

Mashiro looked straight into her eyes and said, "The real reason why he agreed to go here is because he was ordered to capture Yahiro, who is the source of the illegal drugs here and even on Earth. And coincidently, Yahiro is also my enemy. So now, I'm helping him."

"See? It's none of your business, so it's just a waste knowing it. And besides, it is my job." Sougo explained to her.

"Then, you don't trust me at all huh? That you would seek help from a stranger rather than me? STUPID SADIST! JUST DIE!" Kagura shouted and quickly rushed outside the infirmary.

It was just Sougo and Mashiro left on that room.

"Shouldn't you chase her? Then have your shoujo manga-like moment? And finally win the Kagura route?" Mashiro said.

But Sougo was not listening at all, he was not even looking at Mashiro.

"Tch." Sougo clicked his tongue with frustration painted on his face, his eye brows aligned while biting his index finger lightly.

"It's not like that, China." he whispered to himself.

Hours had passed after that.

In the kitchen, there were two guys sitting across each other with a table in between them. From the looks of it, it could be concluded that they were having a conversation.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gin laughed like there's no tomorrow.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Shinpachi copied.

They both looked hilarious as they expressed their merriment whole heartedly with tears almost flowing down from their eyes and even swaying their bodies freely back and forth.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"HAHAHAAHAHHHAHAHAHHA!"

Shinpachi just continued laughing out loud that he had to hold his stomach, "HAHAHAHAHA-" he stopped, "Uhhh…..Gin-san,Why are we laughing anyway?"said he as he sat erect on the chair.

Hearing him, Gin had also stopped, "It's that you know?" he looked at Shinpachi with seriousness in his face, he rose his index finger gesturing his answer. Shinpachi's stare was locked on his finger.

But seconds went by, he's still stocked with that stance he had.

"Eh?" *blink blink* he laid down his finger,"Forget about trivial things, and let's go on with our conversation."

With that response, Shinpachi knew he had to play the 'tsukkomi' role, so he retorted, "You just don't know the answer, do you? And can you even consider that as CONVERSATION?"

"Men don't need words to express their feelings. We talk with our soul and ba-"

"Huweeee! Stop it! And why the hell do you even need it for communication!"

"Maa, Pattsuan. Going back to the topic…"

"EH? Topic? We had a topic?"

Gin suddenly changed the expression of his face, it turned into a serious one, "I still think the incident yesterday was not an accident."

Hearing that, Shinpachi suddenly calmed down sensing that the atmosphere had changed, "I think so too, Gin-san. I'm worried about Okita-san, what if someone is really after his life? And what happened yesterday was just one of their plans?"

"Kagura might also get caught into it."

"Yeah, then I guess we should not let our guard down."

Gin just scratched his naturally perm head, "What the hell…. Those brats are such pain in the ass."

While having that serious conversation, someone suddenly came inside the kitchen. It was Kagura, she passed by the two guys and hurried to the lavatory located at the end of that room. With her actions, they knew something was wrong with her so they decided to come to her and inquire about her problem.

She was clutching both her hands on the edge of the lavatory with her eyes focused downwards and they had guessed it right, she was acting weird like she's not herself at that time.

They were standing beside Kagura.

"Oi Kagura, What happened to you?" the Yorozuya leader asked.

"You can tell us, Kagura-chan." His glasses guy companion added.

"Just 3 hours left." she spoke.

"Huh?" they both asked in confusion.

"Three hours left before the last contest and we HAVE to win it. We must get out of here before things get worse." She continued.

Instead of getting a better understanding with her situation, that statement just created more confusion for the two.

"K-kagura? What's gotten into you? Don't tell me it's 'THAT' day of the month? Eh? Kagura? I never thought even Amantos go into puberty! Oi, don't get deceived by those advertisements, okay? They're all the same! It would just leak and leak! Just be practical and use cloth for your-" Gin said.

"GIN-SAN! Please stop that! You're making things worse!" Shinpachi angrily shouted at him.

But Kagura, on the other hand, just ignored what her companions were talking about, she just continued with her out-of-character act.

"We all want to be free from here, so let's just help each other…."

The two guys stopped their squabble and focused their attention on her. Slowly, she faced the two who were talking with her since a while ago.

"Cosh eet wouv be our fon iv we fain hirn. (Coz it would be our fall if we fail here)" *munch munch*

Her face puffed out like an inflated balloon, filled with nothing but foods she got near the lavatory.

"Uhhh…You just ruined the moment Kagura-chan." Shinpachi said as he looked at her with disappointment in his eyes.

She quickly swallowed the bolus of food she was eating, and spoke, "Eh? Somehow it tastes different."

"That's beyond expiration date already." Shinpachi replied.

"Eh?" and that's when she felt a strange sensation in her stomach that goes down to her butt.

Now, her face looked so distorted from the indescribable despair she is feeling, maybe you can compare it to Hedoro's hideous face.

She quickly ran and hurried to the exit, leaving her two companions in that room.

Don't worry, 3 hours was enough for Kagura to end her sufferings.

The third and last contest was about to begin. The host was still Zura together with his co-host, Elizabeth. It seemed like they had fun with this kind of thing that they took the job 'til the end of the contest or maybe, they just wanted more exposure.

"Zura janai, Exorcist Katsu *bleeeeep* da!" said he as looked at the sky as if talking to someone there.

Eli's placard says: "Katsura-san, the contest is starting."

He then looked down to face the audience," Sorry for that.*cough cough* Good day everyone! Today is the last contest of the duel between the Ham siblings and the sadistic duo! "

And, by the way, he was still cosplaying as Kanda from **-M** same with Elizabeth as Timcanpy (just don't try imagining it.)

"The contest for today is, RACING!" he announced.

With this kind of contest, the location this time was different. It was an open field with muddy soil that even if you just stepped a little, mud would stain your clothes. There was a big arch with a word written, "Start" and on its both sides were the audiences covered with some temporary shed who would watch the participants from the big screen near that arch. Since it hasn't begun the hosts who were standing under the arch were being shown there.

The bikes to be used were already placed under it. Kagura was already riding the motorbike since she would be the driver. (She had little experience driving Gin's scooter when she tried to substitute him as the Yorozuya leader and became Gura-san.) Her partner still hasn't arrived but she remained calm. On the other group, it was composed of an extra Yato (the driver) and Mashiro who were both riding the motorcycle already.

"Contestants would use motor cycle in this race with two participants per group. There are no obstacles ahead, you just need to arrive at the finish line first." He continued.

Sougo finally arrived at the contest grounds.

in the audience's side…

"Oi Shinpachi! This is bad! If that Shinsengumi brat noticed it's Zura, he will get caught!" Gin told Shinpachi.

"Don't worry, Katsura-san is the master of disguises." Shinpachi said to ease Gin's worries, then continued, "*droopy eyes* Yeah, he's so great that even with just a mustache the Shinsengumi doesn't recognize him."

Coming from behind Katsura, Sougo approached the host.

"Ohhh…If it isn't Yuu-kun. Nanishiteru~ sa? (What are you doing here?)" he said.

"Eh? Why's he wearing an eye patch and a bandana?" Shinpachi asked.

"Oi! Are they turning this into **-M**?" Gin added.

[Obviously, Sougo was copying Lavi, Kanda's co exorcist, He puts ~sa at the end of his sentences. with voice actor Kenichi Suzumura, same with Sougo.]

He looked back at the owner of the voice, Sougo who just arrived there.

Without known reason, Katsura's eyes showed amazement, he held Sougo's hands with so much enthusiasm and said,"Hijirikawa-dono!I'm a fan of STARFISH! Would you give me an autograph?"

[Again Kenichi Suzumura voiced Hijirikawa and he's a part of Starish a boy group in Ut* no Princ*-Sam*]

"Now it's Ut* no Princ*-Sam*? Ahhh! Katsura-san! Okita-san! Please don't turn this into a singing and dancing boy group with just one heroine!" Shinpachi retorted.

"It's STARISH, you stupid! And you call yourself a fan?" Gin shouted.

To his surprise, Shinpachi just stared at Gin and asked, "Eh? You watch that, Gin-san?"

Gin faced him, "G-got problem with that?" and he was even blushing.

Back to Katsura…

"Or just teach me those dance steps! I've always been practicing them at home, That" and Katsura began dancing, " _Doki doki de kowaresou sen percent love Hey!_"

"Oi Zura! What are you doing? Stop that!" Gin yelled.

"Gin-san, I think we should go there already and-"

"Let him teach me too!" said Gin, completely ignoring his companion while his attention was completely focused on the host, Katsura, "Damn it! I'm so envious! I want to learn it too and become a national idol in just one night."

Shinpachi just stared at him blankly.

Zura continued his singing and dancing, "_Saa let's SONG-_"

"Continue that, and I'll completely erase you from your manga, you girly tsundere." Sougo threatened Katsura whom he thought was Kanda as he pointed his bazooka on the host emitting the most sadistic aura he could.

The path of his stare changed, he saw Gin running towards them, "Heeeh..Danna, you wanna be erased too?" and he snickered like a demon.

Zura and Gin was forced to stop and continue with the real story of this fanfic. They came back to their rightful place and continued the scene normally.

"You still have 5 minutes for preparation." Zura said.

Sougo walked towards Kagura, though she had felt his presence she pretended as though he's just an air.

Even though he noticed the unwelcome attitude she gives him, he care freely sat behind Kagura and immediately leaned on her back as though he was just freed from exhaustion. His entire body was facing the audience with both his feet on the left side of the vehicle.

Kagura still didn't move an inch. She kept silent even with that sadist just behind her.

"3 minutes left!" Zura reminded them.

Suddenly, Kagura felt a chilly sensation on her cheek. It surprised her that she looked back without noticing it. Her presumption was right; it was Sougo holding a cold bottle of water pressing it into her cheeks.

With the usual lazy face he has, he spoke, "In case you got tired." But he was not looking at her.

She continued staring at him.

"Ah. And also a towel." Said he and just landed the said thing on her head.

"I don't need it" she then decided to confront the guy behind her, "Oi sadist, just throw away that guy with Mashed Potato and ride there. You trust her rather than me, right?"

_This is the first time I saw her act this serious. Is she still mad at me? _Sougo thought.

He remembered the hurtful things he said to Kagura a while ago thus awakening the conscience he never once had. He's the Prince of Planet Sadist after all, seeing others in despair gives him joy, but when it comes to this girl, for some unknown reason, just by having a glimpse of her having that glum face, costs him 2 or 3 times the pain she felt.

"China." He called.

"What is it, Sadist?" she retorted.

He began opening his mouth, with his voice was shaking, "So…."

"Huh?" she asked, though still not facing him.

"Sor…..rachi Sensei. "

"The hell do I care with that gorilla."

"Sor…..sore eyes."

"If you would just say nonsense things, just shut up, okay?"

"Sorrrr….ssorryy…..sorryaaaah!"

He wanted to say those simple words, 'I'm sorry' but it just won't come out the way it should be. His pride stops him, thinking that she's his rival it must've hurt his dignity to say those words, or maybe, he doesn't have the courage, afraid of being rejected by the girl.

"Whatever." She just said.

"At the count of three, the race will officially start. " Zura announced.

Sougo fixed himself on the bike. He didn't face Kagura, with his back leaning on hers. He just held the sides of the bike to support himself.

"3….2…..1…..Ready!"

The participants had already started their engines.

"GO!"

And with that signal, they had started moving, the same with the other group. Even with little experience she had, the sadistic duo was leading with her concentrating too much on driving.

"Oi, China." Sougo called.

Even with the strong wind their speed produces, Sougo's voice was able to reach his partner.

"Just shut up, I'm busy." Kagura replied angrily.

"Whatever China girl, just listen to me well, and I won't ever repeat this."

She just ignored his words, "Why don't you follow what I told you and go to that Mashed Potato-"

"I'm sorry, Kagura." said he, still facing the same direction.

It surprised her, those words that a sadist like him would never utter to his sworn rival; she just heard it and what's more is that, he even called her by her name. So naturally, her attention diverted on him and got distracted on driving the motorbike.

"HUH?" she shouted as she tried her best to move her head and look at Sougo.

His face conveys it, he was dead serious, "I'm sorry I never told you about my job. I just don't you to get involved with it and…..get hurt because of me."

She faced in front again, "I-it's not like I got mad because of that."

"Heeeh…Then why?"

It took a while before she could answer, "I saw Kamui~ni- my Stupid brother a while ago…and talked with him."

_Tch. I thought it was because of me. I deviated my dignity for nothing. _Sougo thought.

"Heeehhh….Kamui~nii, huh? I didn't know you had a brother complex." Sougo said to tease her.

"Shut up, Sadist! I always call him by that name before, so that's why."

_Vroooooom_

It was a sound of another motorbike. The intensity of this noise informs its distance from them. It was just in the vicinity of their current position.

"OI SOUGO OKITA! LOOK IN FRONT OF YOU!" Mashiro shouted as she had just dispatched the Yato she was with.

They were too much focused on their conversation that they didn't notice the enemies had been drawing closer to them.

"I knew this would happen." He spoke.

"Yeah, I should've noticed it. Having me as a participant was already strange in the first place, knowing that they're already aware of us teaming up." Mashiro replied.

"Oi China, just keep driving, just leave this to me." he took out his bazooka.

But she remained silent.

_Kamui-nii….. _She kept on thinking.

"OI CHINA! Are you listening to me?" he shouted.

Still no response, "TCH." he clicked his tongue.

He leaned his head on her shoulder and faced her, _Positive. It's his brother again._ "Are you really gonna grinkeep up that BroCon of yours? Just concentrate on driving and stop thinking about that brother of yours!" Sougo shouted.

She finally came to her senses, "Don't you dare say that again, you bastard Sadist! "

"What? Having your Lover's Quarrel? That can't do, Mr. Bishounen. *sigh* Fine, it can't be helped. Just leave this to me. I'll finish them myself." Mashiro said.

"Eh? Okay. Don't blame me if you die. Well, it's not like I care." Sougo said.

"Yeah, thanks Mashed Potato. We'll never let you die in vain." Kagura added.

"Oi, I'm sacrificing myself here. Don't go killing me when I'm just in front of you." Mashiro replied.

And with that they had advanced, letting the lone Mashiro fight unaccompanied.

They both waved their hands, and together they shouted, "Even if you die in flesh, your soul will remain in our hearts!"

"You really just wanted me to die? Huh?" Mashiro shouted.

But before the two of them had left her sight, Sougo gave her a meaningful grin conveying the words, 'I believe in you'.

She just gave back that grin, "*sigh* You better give me a rare picture of Gin and Hijikata together."

She headed back and faced the opponents ahead.

Going back to Kagura and Sougo…..

They both kept silent. Kagura was just focusing on the steers of the vehicle and Sougo just observed the surroundings if ever enemies would appear. To his boredom, he began singing.

"_Hijikata dieeeeee~~ Go die Hijikataaaaaa~~~ Dieeeeee~~~ Dieeeee~~~_" he sang with pure innocence painted on his face.

Well, it was not that bad. But the tone was just too random.

"What? Can't get enough of Ut* no Princ*-Sam*? Then just go there and sing to your heart's content and dance those stupid steps you have." Kagura commented.

"Ne China, what did you and your brother talked about?" he asked out of the blue, ignoring Kagura's words.

"It's none of your business Sadist." Kagura sulked with her lips pouting like an octopus.

"Ohhh…Is this payback for what I said a while ago? So now you're copying my exact statement?"

"You don't trust me then I won't trust you too."

*dead pan with lazy eyes*"Maaa…then let's just have a flash back."

She looked back, with just the half side of her face in front of him, "Eh? You can do that?"

_Flash back…_

"Oi, you're really serious about this?" Kagura said.

_After that scene from the infirmary,,,,,_

_Suddenly, she saw a familiar figure of a person as she walked through the corridors. _

_Long orange hair just the same color as hers, with his braided locks swinging freely on his back, a black Chinese clothing with a blue belt, carrying an umbrella having the same style as hers, a male version of her_

_With the killing intent aura she felt from that person, she confirmed it, that guy was none other than her brother. Swarming with hatred towards that person, she reflexively opened her umbrella and immediately flooded him with bullets._

"_KAMUIIIIIIIIIIII!" she shouted as she continued her attack._

_But her brother was just too skilled; he dodged every bullet she gave him and when she was not paying attention, he had already stood up on her umbrella._

_He was looking at her,"Oh? If it isn't my CUTE LITTLE SISTER? My, my…Is that how you greet a family member you haven't seen for so long?"_

_She glared at him, "Shut up! It's nauseating!"she shouted, and continued, "This is the payback from what you did back in Yoshiwara! And for…Ranking 3rd in the latest popularity poll!"_

"_Well sorry for being famous."_

_*Anger mark* "I hope you would go bald someday like our father. Please, just go bald. No, seriously just go bald and have a 2 digit ranking or maybe a 3 digit would make me happy."_

"_Haha….Isn't that too harsh, imouto-chan?" she knew that smile was just a fake._

_He finally decided to land on the floor._

_She just ignored what he said, "Oi, tell me, why are you here? What are you trying to do?" she asked._

_Again, he gave that infamous fake smile he'd been wearing always,"Don't worry I don't mean any harm. Abuto told me you had potential to be a great killer when he fought with you. I just came here to get you, and USE you, now that I've seen your worth."_

"_Don't group me with the likes of you, STUPID BROTHER! Tell me, we're you that Yahiro's boss, huh? Did you plan this all along?"_

_He applauded her, "Hai! That's right! That engagement thing was just an excuse to be able to get you, and this contest? It was just a plan to interfere with the plans of SOUGO OKITA."_

"_WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HIM?"_

_Then he showed a picture of the two of them sleeping together in the infirmary._

"_Oi, Are you a stalker? Where'd you get that?"_

"_Lately, you've been in good terms with that Captain of Shinsengumi, right? " _

"_T-there's no way that's true!"_

"_Don't worry, as long as he doesn't interfere with Yahiro's job, [and if he wouldn't do anything indecent to you or get touchy touchy with you] I will not kill him."_

"_Before you could do anything to that sadist, I'll surely defeat you, BAKA ANIKI. I'm the only one who has the right to kill that stupid brat, remember that."_

_He snickered, "Heh…If you could then why not?" he walked slowly, "Bye bye, MY DEAREST LITTLE SISTER,the next time I see you…" he looked back, "You are already my TOOL." And gave that fake smile again._

_End of flash back._

"Sugeee….He really has Sister Complex." Sougo commented.

"Shut up. It's disgusting." Kagura replied.

She was facing in front again, looking at the road ahead of them.

"Then China, you would protect me from your brother, is that it?"

"Don't misunderstand me. I just want to defeat that stupid brother, that's all."

"But don't underestimate me. I won't die easily; sadists have long lies after all. Should I just thank you for your concern about me?"

"HAH! As if I'll worry about you! I just did that so that I have the right to bully and torture you to my heart's content!"

Suddenly, a hand held her hair with gentleness in that person's touch and of course, it was none other than Sougo Okita. She got irritated and was about to strike a blow to the culprit, but then…..

He kissed her hair.

He whispered, "Thank you, Kagura. Don't worry, I'll be the one to protect you."

*BOOOOG~!*

They crashed.

Meanwhile a fierce(?) chasing is happening somewhere.

*sparkly2 BG*

"Wait for me Ya-chaaaaaan. Ahahahahahahaha. I'll catch you right away." Umibouzu said.

"Ie desuuuuuu~~~ (I don't want.) Umi~nyaaaaaaaan. Ahahahahaha~~~" Yahiro replied.

"Stingy Ya~chan! If I catch you, prepare for your punishment. Tehe~~~"

"You're so meanie, Umi~nyaaaaaaaan. "

What a great sight it is for Gin and Shinpachi who had been standing there all along forced to watch that horrible scene. Their eyes were not showing any will of living in this world. They looked so dead and just like empty shells whose souls just came out.

"Eh? What is this? Are they a stupid couple flirting while chasing each other?" Gin asked with voice trembling in horror.

*vomits* Shinpachi couldn't utter a word, he just vomits whenever he tried to speak.

But the two just continued.

"Ya~chaaaaaaaan."

"Umi~nyaaaaaaaan."

"Ya-Chaaaaaan!"

"Umi~nyaaaaaaaaan-"

Gin couldn't take it anymore, he stood in the middle of them and shouted out loud, "Te, OI! UGGGGGH!STOP IT! PLEASE STOP IT! it's so disgusting!"

"That's right , Umibouzu-san, you should be serious alrea- *vomits*"

Finally they stopped even the BG was gone. Now, the scene was normal Yahiro and Umibouzu were already facing each other.

The location was Yahiro's house. When Umibouzu learned about his secret he hurriedly came to his house and the chasing began.

"I trusted you Yahiro-san, I never expected that you would betray me. I saw the proof, you were really exporting and importing drugs here and in Earth." Umibouzu said.

"HAH! what? You would beat me up? Too bad baldy….There's someone higher than me who planned all of this." Yahiro replied.

"Who is it?"

"Someone you're fully familiar with." He gave a snicker.

Someone else came to that place.

Umibouzu uttered, "Ka….."

**Extra **[This is not connected with the story. It's just a continuation of the Omake above.]

"Eh? there's really a continuation?" Gin shouted,"Oi! What the hell is this? Just stop this, please! I'll give you 300 yen!"

Then the ceiling fell down, "Hey what's with this final decision of Gin-chan's lover? " it was his stalker, Sacchan, "I'm the only one for him,look!" then she showed a picture of Gin(?) and her, "Didn't we already vowed eternity with each other and got married?" (Reference: Gintama episode 204)

"Don't screw with me! That's just some random foreigner with my face pasted there! " Gin shouted.

"Pictures don't lie, Gin-san."

"Yeah, and it doesn't lie that the skin color of the head and the body are COMPLETELY different! You M stalker!"

The door opened, it showed Otae, "Ara,…..It's not like I wanted to be this dame ossan's partner, but as far as I know, I'm the heroine of this anime, so it should be me, right?"

"Then I'll dispose the main character and become your hero, Otae-san." kyuubei said who suddenly appeared beside her.

"Uweeeee! You're planning on changing this into Kyuutama? What's that? 9 balls? Huh? Turning this into billiards?" Gin shouted.

"YOROZUYA!" it was Kondou, who made an entrance under the table, "Don't ever steal my Otae-san from me! I know she's gorgeous and even though she has flat chest-"

*PUNCH*

"Ara, Kondou-san. I don't remember being yours and also…. if you treasure your life, NEVER mention that last line you just said, EVER again, okay?"

"Oi, you bitch. I will seriously arrest you if you continue on injuring our commander." Hijikata said.

"Then tell your commander to stop stalking me!"

"Cho-matte….where's Gin-san?" Sacchan said.

"Yeah, I don't see him here." Hijikata said.

"Don't you think someone else is missing?" Otae added.

In the cabinet (Kagura's bedroom)…

"Tch. They finally noticed huh?" Gin said,"Oi Tsukky, how are you there?"

Even though it was cramped inside, they were able to fit in there.

"I'm still fine here. Don't worry."

~awkward silence~

"I-it's not like I chose you, huh? H-h-hinowa might get mad at me if you got caught up with these idiots' mess, a-and also the Hyakkas, they might ambush me." Gin said, stuttering with his words.

She blushed too, "I-I know. I-it's not like I wanted to be chosen by you, and don't call me Tsukky."

Unknowingly, they held each other's hands though they were not looking at each other.

End.

Just kidding~~

"By the way, how are we gonna escape here?" he asked as he tried tapping Tsukuyo since it was dark there.

_Eh? It's so soft. Don't tell me-? _

Tsukuyo blushed, she faced Gin.

"Ahahahahaha….Is it Jackpot again? Tsukuyo~SAMA?"

Without any response, she just held Gin's arms and came out of the cabinet

"GINTOKIIIIIIIII!" she shouted and with all her strength, threw him out of the Yorozuya.

"Whew! Home run!" Rhaide said.

He came flying to the air. Everyone just stared at Gin's face illuminated at the sky with his teeth sparkling, like he just died.

*zooming in* He was smiling like an idiot, "Ahhhh….it was like a manjuu." *sparkly BG*

His time was so short but he had no regrets, since he enjoyed his life til his last breath.

"Ah. I'm wrong; it was bigger and SOFTER than a manjuu." He added.

It suddenly rained kunais and each of them critically stabbed his body. This time, he died for real.


	10. Chapter 10

**KAMUIIIII! I LOVE YOUUUUUUU!**

**Shin: Eh? What was that?**

**Kagura: *droopy eyes* Just the author and her hard core fan girl attitude. Seriously, why does that stupid brother have lots of fans? He only appears in the opening and ending songs of the anime series. *flips another page***

**Shin: Wai-! Kagura? Aren't you supposed to be appearing at the last omake of this fanfic?**

**Kagu: This fanfic is ending anyway, what's the difference with it? *picks her nose***

**Shin: Kagura-chan! You shouldn't mention that here.**

**Kagu: Not updating for 3 months and that's the first thing she'll say, I bet she thought of abandoning this fic.**

**Shin: Kagura-chan! Mou, stop it! Please stop it! But she should really apologize first. *looks at Rhai***

**Rhai: KAMUIIIIII! / MARRY ME AFTER YOU MARRY NOBUME! KYAAAAAAH!  
><strong>

**Shin: She's on a different world right now, isn't she?**

***door opens* Sougo: So you were here, China? I've come to pick you up, let's go.**

**Shin: Eh? Even Okita-san has also appeared. **

**Sougo: *looks at the camera* Don't get your hopes up. I'll never like this monster, so please Hijikata. Just die. **

**Shin: Oiiiii! Just what are you say- *OkiKagu leaves the room***

**Kamui: Hai! Here's Chapter 10! ^v^**

**Rhai: *HYPERVENTILATES* *FAINTS* *DIES***

_It was raining yet again._

_The scene of the sky enshrouded with nothing but thick clouds where the radiance of the sun seemed to have betrayed them. _

_A little girl was standing in the middle of the rain. Orange locks, with buns on both sides of her hair, wearing a yellow rain coat that perfectly fit her minute stature._

_It felt so gloomy. It felt so hopeless. This scene that she'd been seeing each day, it never changes._

_Even with the drops of water that continued to pour in her fragile body, she just stood there, staring at the sky with curiosity in her eyes. The umbrella she was holding was of no use, she was already drenched but she didn't care and just stood there._

_She started singing._

_*moshi moshi kame yo kame-san yo_

(Hello there, Tortoise, Mr. Tortoise )

_sekai no uchi ni omae hodo _

(There isn't anyone in the world )

_In the midst of her chant, a hand suddenly held her shoulder, with battling instincts of a Yato she looked back and pointed her umbrella; which acts as her weapon; on that suspicious person._

_But he just smiled at her,"Kagura-chan, Let's go home. Oka-san is worried about you."_

_It was her brother, Kamui. Having an umbrella with enough size to accommodate the both of them, he shared it with her._

_ayumi no noroi mono wa nai _

(Who walks as slowly as you do )

_doushite sonna ni noroi no ka_

(Why is it that you're so slow?)

_Even with the presence of her beloved sibling she just continued singing._

_nanto ossharu usagi-san _

(Mr. Hare says that )_  
><em>

"_You still need more practice, Kagura-chan."he teased her; probably to get her attention._

_Again, she looked back, "Nii-chan meanie!" she punched her brother, and though it was full force Kamui just caught it with ease._

_He just chuckled and joined her. He laid down his umbrella amidst the pouring rain._

"_Kagura-chan, do you want to leave this place? " he asked out of the blue._

_She nodded._

_He smiled at her, "Don't worry someday, your life will change. You'll find friends and persons that you would cherish dearly."_

"_Then…Kamui-nii, can I get married too, like Pappy and Mammy?"she asked with eyes that depicts eagerness for the answer. _

_He bent over to her and smiled, "Ofcourse, when you grow up, you would fall in love and find your special person..But before that happens…"*dark aura* *fake smile* "Let me beat the crap out of him, okay?"_

"_Un!" she cheerfully agreed, even with the naivety of her mind about her brother's words._

The location was Yahiro's house, in front of him was Umibouzu, just standing there and staring at him with anger, and somewhere near him was Gin and Shinpachi, who were observing on the sidelines.

The atmosphere that surrounded them was filled with tension.

"Ka….",Umibouzu spoke.

His eyes widened upon seeing the guy who just came into his view. His lips began moving, forming the name of that guy in front of him.

"Katsura."

And he appeared, a guy with long braided black hair hanging on the right side of his shoulder. He just smiled an-

"Te—OIIIIIIIII!Why the hell is Katsura-san here? And why did the narrator even played along with it? Ahhhhhhhh! This is supposed to be the continuation from the cliffhanger scene, right? It's supposed to be serious right?"

Of course that'd be Shinpachi with his usual retorts; just like a nagging mother.

Gin came closer to him and patted his shoulder, "Maa maa, Shinpachi-kun. There was no punch line from the previous scene so we had to put it here." he replied with his usual dead fish eyes while picking his ears.

A vein popped on his temple, "To hell is with that excuse Gin-san! That's supposed to be Kamui-san, right? It was a father and son reunion, RIGHT?"

He took off his hands from him, "Ahh ahhh…Now you've given the spoilers."

"Ehhh? But that was too obv-"

But a loud voice suddenly stopped him from talking.

"Kamui! Why have you come here?" Umibouzu asked with enraged look in his face.

"And now you call him Kamui? " Shinpachi shouted as he pointed Umibouzu with irritation painted on his face.

"Maa, he originally had a black hair right?" Gin replied.

"Gin-san, you shouldn't mention that here."

"Long time no see, Oto-san." Katsu- Kamui replied and smiled at his father.

"EHHH? You're still continuing? And that was Katsura, right? You're supposed to say Katsura, ne? ne?" Shinpachi retorted.

His retorts were not enough to stop the fierce encounter of the two.

"What are you doing here, Kamui?" Umibouzu asked, still furious with the sight of him.

There was a sudden change on the look of his face and wore a different kind of smile, one that felt so creepy.

He replied, "I simply destroy."

"E-eh?"He blinked his eyes, " S-somehow, isn't that a different person?" Shinpachi commented.

While still having that intense scene, an unidentifiable white creature came out of the blue. Just by it's unique appearance, it caught too much attention that all their eyes were on that disgusting thing.

The guy who just looked so serious and creepy, was already having this idiotic smile as he saw it.

"Ohhhhh…Elizabeth! So here you are! I've been searching for you since a while ago!"Katsura said as he turned his head towards the direction of the said creature, also known as Elizabeth.

Eli's placard:"Katsura-san, they're calling for us."

He came running towards him.

"Ahahahaha! I did it Elizabeth! I fooled them! They really believed I was BAKAsugi! I think my disguise skills have improved." Zura said.

"Ie, no one believed you, and you've got the wrong person Katsura-san." Shinpachi said, with eyes dull, thinking about the hopelessness of the person he's talking with.

Zura looked back, "How could you Shinichirou-kun!" then he began walking towards him.

"It's Shinpachi."

"I have known BAKAsugi since we're kids! I even know how many times he peed on his bed and cried because of it! And I know his age when he stopped thumb sucking in his sleep!" Zura continued, "And how adorable his angry face looked when we would call him 'Chibisuke'." Then he suddenly showed a picture of him, with the half of his face leaning on his palm while smiling,"Isn't he just too cut-"

"Oiiii! What are you? A mother of a middle school student who reveals the embarrassing secrets of her child in front of his friends?Mou, stop it Katsura-san! You're deteriorating his image!" Shinpachi said.

"But he ranked higher than me. What is his purpose in this anime anyway?" Katsura murmured while he was pouting like a child and averting his sight to Shinpachi.

Gin interrupted them, "Whatever Zura, just get the hell out of here. This scene been completely ruined because of you." he said while picking his ears with his right hand hidden on his hakama.

" Tch. Stingy. I only wanted an exposure." Katsura said as he started walking out from that scene together with Elizabeth.

"You already had enough unwanted exposures in this fanfic." Shinpachi said.

Finally, he had gone from there. They just stared at the sight in front of them.

~~~silence~~~

*flying haystack*

"Eh? Now what? What about Kamui-san's appearance?" Shinpachi said, not changing the direction of his stare.

"Hai. End of Instant Husband, Chapter 10. Dear readers, you just wasted your time reading this." Gin spoke, as he looked at the camera.

**END OF CHAPTE-**

"Aryayaya, you can't end it yet without me."

"Eh?" *blink blink* Gin and Shinpachi said at the same time.

Recognizing the voice they just heard, they looked at their left to confirm its owner. And there they saw a guy in his late teen age years, wearing Chinese clothes, with a braided long pinkish hair hanging on his right shoulder, holding a black umbrella similar to Kagura's, and that trademark smile that he wore. It only describes a certain psychotic brother.

_The real Kamui is here!_ They both screamed in their thoughts.

They both got frozen in their position, with black empty eyes and unpleasant look.

"O-oi Pattsuan, is it really allowed to have him appear like that?" Gin whispered to Shinapchi, "Aren't the authors too lax about this?"

"The hell do I know Gin-san! It's because you played along with Katsura-san that he missed his dramatic entrance!" Shinpachi whispered back.

"Eh? You don't think he got hurt by that and thought he's unimportant here? Oi! Somebody apologize to him! L-let's just restart the scene and give him his dramatic entrance!"

They were both panicking and who wouldn't be? This guy is one of the main villains in this anime who has a hobby of killing people. Even if this is just a fanfic, their lives are still in danger.

"T-time machine! We need to get a time machine Shinpachi!"

"GIN-SAN! Haven't you had enough of that joke! We're in real danger here you know? " Shinpachi replied.

Unaware of their feelings of terror at that moment, Kamui came in front of Gin.

"I must be lucky to meet you here." He smiled and looked at Gin, "Samurai-san."

Gin sensed them right away; those murderous intents that hid behind that smile; the blood lust that Kamui had been holding back even with the desire to fight him. The atmosphere changed right away, this time it had gotten serious. Gin held his bokuto cautiously. He had to be prepared for whatever attack Kamui would give him.

Feeling the tension that built up inside Gin, he spoke, "Ahahahah…Don't worry I won't kill you here just yet." As he tried to ease his anxiety.

"Tch." Gin clicked his tongue while he took off his hand from his bokuto.

"KAMUI!" Umibouzu shouted.

His antenna twitched hearing a familiar voice called his name, he looked at him," Ohhh…It's been so long, right?"he opened his eyes, and stared at Umibouzu with malice and blood lust," Oto-san?"

"So you're the one who planned this all along?" Umibouzu asked, and obviously he was angry. He felt so much anger that he wanted to go on berserk.

"Yep. You got that right." He replied with a smile on his face, "From Kagura-chan's engagement to her arrival here and even that stupid contest, it was my entire plan. You fell under my trap."

"Eh? Then Kagura-chan's been his target all along." Shinpachi said as he looked at Kamui.

"What are you planning to do with Kagura-chan?" Umibouzu asked.

He just smiled, "I'll USE her."

Umibouzu had enough. He'd been controlling himself of attacking him, since he's still his son; and he doesn't want to repeat that tragic event that happened before. But this is his daughter he's talking about, enraged with his words; he held his umbrella and handled it like a sword.

Even Shinpachi had sheathed his sword. Kagura's very important for him well not as a woman, but as his family and he's fully aware of the danger that her brother could bring to her.

They didn't respond instead they stepped a foot; with a stance to fight him. Both had look on their faces filled with anger; they were about to dash towards the orange haired guy.

But a hand held their shoulders that halted their movements. They stared at those hands, it was Gin's.

"Shinpachi, being serious doesn't suit you." Gin said as he took off his hand from him and picked his ear, "And a baldy like you would just continue balding if you let your emotions overwhelm you."

"Eh? Gin-san, you're ruining the moment." Shinpachi said.

"Yorozuya! What are you doing? Kagura's in danger!" Umibouzu shouted.

But when they looked at him, the natural perm's attention was not on them instead his eyes were staring straight ahead, to that guy in front of them, Kamui.

"Oi, you." Gin called and pointed the guy in front of him.

His antenna twitched and pointed himself.

"What was it again? You'll use her? Heh." He grinned sarcastically, "Don't kid around me. After abandoning her and leaving her in this cold planet, letting her suffer alone while still hoping for your return…"

Kamui's smile suddenly faltered. He knew the reason but he just won't accept it. Those words that hit him 'bull's eye', somehow gave an ache on his heart.

"…now you want to have your dramatic sibling reunion? I don't care about your Sister complexes but she's already a member of the Sakata family. Do you think I'd let some psychotic brother take her away?" he said and pointed his bokuto on him.

He was mad. He's been angry all along, but he tried to compose himself knowing how dangerous it would be if he'd berserk here just because of his emotions. He would lose his rationality with just his body moving on its own, it happened with Jirocho before.

"Heh." Kamui grinned mockingly.

"She's not some garbage that you'd throw away and recycle when you need it! Dammit!" Gin shouted and rushed towards him.

But he was stopped.

"I'm afraid I can't let you pass here." Yahiro, the FORGOTTEN presence said.

That's when they noticed that they were already surrounded by his followers. Gin paused and stood there, together with Shinpachi and Umi.

Just like criminals surrounded by the police cars, escape is out of sight.

"Gomen gomen, Mr. Samurai. Let's continue later." Kamui said and smirked, "I still need to get hold of her greatest weakness, and she'll be MINE." He waved his hand as he moved forward.

"Eh? Her greatest weakness?" Gin said.

Shinpachi stared at Gin, as if sensing his thoughts, "Gin-san, could it be….Okit-"

His eyes widened, "He's going to bribe her with sukonbu?"

"OIIIIIIII! Now you're putting a punch line at the end?" Shinapchi said.

Meanwhile….

Mashiro had defeated all of Yahiro's followers that caught up to her. None were left moving in her sight. She couldn't breathe well; she had lost her energy just by defeating a bunch of them.

She tried to sit down on the ground to rest a bit, with her knees bent and her hands hanging freely from there. She wiped away the sweat that had built up on her face.

"_Somehow, these enemies are stronger than I thought."_ She thought to herself, _"Could it be that someone higher than Yahiro is pulling the strings here?"_

Inhale, exhale; even with her battered situation, she kept on thinking who the real enemy is.

"_Who could it be?"_ she continued.

It was then she felt presence from behind, but before she could react to it, a swing of an umbrella from behind had beaten her.

"_Shit. I never thought it would be him."_

And now, to the main characters of this story….

Sougo and Kagura had been running for a long time already.

After they had crashed from that motorcycle, the enemies were able to follow them. They both kept running while attacking the enemies at the back simultaneously.

Sougo would bring out his bazooka and fire it on them.

Kagura would open her umbrella and flood them with bullets.

"Are they gone?" Sougo asked Kagura, while still looking in front of him.

Kagura looked back to check for it. They have gone far already and thankfully, no more enemies were on sight, just the two of them. They kept running, though this time it was on a slower pace so that they could regain some energy from that assault.

"No more. We're safe…I guess." She answered.

Somehow, the China girl sounded weird, like her voice seemed weak and holding back something.

He remembered some bullets that have reached them, though he was not sure if it hit her since he was too busy with the enemies. He looked at his right to check her situation, and saw her grimacing. She often looks at her right arm while guarding it. He knew right away that she's trying her best to hide the pain she was feeling.

"Don't tell me you're wounded China girl?" Sougo asked.

"Of course I'm not." Kagura answered.

She's irritated, probably, because he doesn't want her rival to see her in her weak state and he understood that feeling since it's the same for him. He doesn't want his rival to feel any pity for him.

But he didn't care.

"Really?" he said, and stopped her by walking in front of her.

She stopped her movement and just stared at him,"What now!" she angrily asked.

He held her right arm, she didn't speak though her facial expression showed the sensation of pain felt with just that light touch he did.

With his usual expressionless face, he spoke, "Are you a masochist that you're trying to hide that pain?"

"Shut up Sadist. It's just cramps." She said with piercing glare directed at him.

"Then you bleed when you have cramps?" he said teasingly, while showing her his hand with bit stains of blood that came from her arm.

"That was from those bastards I defeated a while ago."

"Fine."He looked back and walked ahead of her in slow pace, "Don't blame me if something creepy like centipedes or worms would get out from there."

Now she's frightened. She imagined how those creepy insects would come out from her wound, she just couldn't allow it. Her delicate skin that she'd been caring for would be ruined. She's a girl after all.

"G-gin-chan never told me that!" she shouted while still being frozen from her location, "And there's no way I would believe a sadist like you!"

_Gin-chan again, huh? _

He got mad. Even if he's the one beside her just why would she still talk about that guy? But there's no way he would show her his emotions.

He faced her once again and he took off his coat. He tore one of his sleeves inside that coat, and ripped it into strip like an improvised bandage. He handed it over to her.

"What is this for?" she asked while holding the item he gave her.

"Saaa…Maybe something that could patch up that big hole in your brain." He said in a dead panned tone.

She tried punching him but he just caught it, "You're the one who has problems with your brain, DUMB ASS. And don't you dare underestimate me Sadist. I'm a Yato so these wounds are nothing for me."

"Oh,so now you're admitting that it's a wound?"

She felt kinda defeated, so she immediately handed back what he gave to her.

"I don't need your help Sadist. I will never be in debt of you! These wounds would heal in no time."

He gave a smirk, "Hehhhhh…."

He held her arm once again.

"That hurts YOU IDIOT!"

"Hooraa.." he said in a monotone voice,"They're Yatos too, so it's obvious that they'll use different kind of bullets for you." And he pressed it a little harder.

"DAMMIT SADIST! If you know that's a wound then don't go touching it as you please!"

His grin got bigger, "Sorry, I 'm a sadist so I love to see people writhe in pain, especially you China."

He said, though he was already wrapping the cloth around her arm carefully to stop the bleeding.

She just sat down, so that it would be easier for him.

"I really,really hate you SADIST." She said while pouting and not looking at him.

"Don't worry, the feeling is mutual." He said, while focusing his sight on aiding her arm.

Silence filled the air; though feint sounds of Kagura's whimper could be heard.

"Hai. Finished." He said.

He was about to stand up but was then stopped by her hand, tightly gripping on his shirt. He looked back to face her.

"What China?" he asked.

"A-are you sure the creepy things won't be coming out anymore?" she asked with anxiety in her face.

_Wow. She really believed that huh?_ _This could be interesting._ He just gave a smirk.

"Are? I forgot, we still need that ritual to put them away." Sougo said, "Or else, there'll be bigger creepy things to come out from your wound."

Her grip got tighter, like she wouldn't want to let go of him.

"DO THAT TO ME YOU SADIST! O-or else I'm going to kill you!" she shouted at him, still anxious about her condition.

"Fine then. You should sing with me." He said, "Look at the sky and sing, 'Hijikata, Hijikata DIEEEEEE…' repeat it until the pain's transferred to Hijikata and he'll die, in a natural way." He looked so innocent, "Then I'll become the Vice Commander."

She followed him right away. She raised her head and began singing, with the random tune that Sougo taught her.

"_Hijikata, Hjikata DIEEEE~~~ Hijikata Hijikata DIEEEEEE~~~~"_

She just continued.

_I didn't know she has a cute voice._ He thought, and had a bigger grin with the amusement he felt that moment.

This time he joined singing.

"_Hijikata, Hijikata DIEEEEE~~~ Hijikata, Hijikata DIEEEE~~~_"

Realizing how stupid it was, she stopped singing and faced him, "Aren't you just kidding around me?"

He faced her too, "You just noticed?"

She got mad at him more, "Temeeeee!" and pointed her umbrella on him.

He just held her umbrella, and stared at her, he remained silent. Now the atmosphere seemed so awkward for them. He took off his hand on her umbrella; she laid it down on the ground.

"Sadist, that's gross. Stop staring at me like a maniac." She told him with a straight face.

He didn't respond, instead he took out his sleeping mask and placed it in on her eyes.

"Oi Sadist! What the hell is this? Trying to attack me in this state? HAH. I didn't know you were this low."

He held her eyes, and leaned closer to her, he whispered, "China. I'll show you a side of me that only my Aneue have seen."

"Huh? What's with that Sadist? Oi. Did you finally snap? You've broken down already? Huh? Gin-chan told me that people gets crazy when they're hungry. Oi, are you going to eat me?"

Even with her continuous rants, he remained silent. He held her wounded arm, though she wasn't able to witness his action, she felt it. It was different from that crude handling he did a while ago, this time his hands felt so light and gentle, like it was holding some fragile jar.

"Don't touch me. You're disgusting Sadist. I don't want a cannibal touch my delicate skin."

But before she could continue teasing him, she felt a soft sensation on her wounded arm. It was his lips gently pressing on her.

She wanted to beat the pulp out of him but her body just won't follow her. With those lips as soft as the manjuus, it felt so nice. It soothed the pain she experienced a while ago.

"Just what are you doing, huh?" she angrily asked him, though she actually liked it.

He took off his hands from her eyes together with his lips on her arm. She took a peek at him by slightly raising the sleeping mask on her.

"Pain, pain…Go away." He innocently said, with gestures of his hands waving like there was really something that he was sending away.

Just imagine how adorable he looked like with that child-like action, speaking those words with sincerity and innocence in his voice, looking like a child who still believed in Santa Claus; a sight that would really urge you to kidnap this endearing and handsome creature.

She completely took off the mask; her mouth agape. That scene of him was just too much for her to take in easily.

He saw her staring at him in that state, he immediately averted his sight from her, "I would always do this to my Aneue whenever she has wounds." He sat like an Indian.

She remained silent.

"Laugh China and I'll tell everyone that you have a Brother Complex, like that Kirino from O** no Imou** Konna** Kawa** Wa* ga Na*." He said, with a feint tint of blush in his cheeks.

She didn't utter a word, she just moved silently next to him. She knelt and held his cheek. That surprised him, he changed the direction of his sight to her. He looked up and stared at her with confusion on his face.

She leaned closer to his face, and kissed his forehead.

Speechless, he never expected her to do that. It should've been better if she just laughed at him and then they'll have their usual fights, just like the usual. Now, he felt awkward.

Then she stood up and placed her hands on her waist like she just won something, "HAHAHA!" she laughed all mightily, "Now my pain is transferred on you, Sadist! My Mammy taught me that!"

"Are you a kid, China? Still being fooled easily with those things? Ehhh….Don't tell me you're the type who still believes in Santa?" he said with his usual dead panned tone.

She pointed her umbrella to him once again, "Temeeee! What's wrong with that? And what's with that 'Pain, pain. Go away'? Hah." She just shook her head, "Tch. Tch. Tch. This world is not as naïve as that, little boy. You should try living more and experience the cruelty of life." Her voice changed, like it matured somehow.

"As if you're the one to talk, Brat, plus I'm older than you." He replied.

"Bastaaard!" she shouted and attacked him.

She rained him with punches and he just dodged them. He punched back and she dodged them. It was like their usual battles, pinching each other, pulling each other's hair, stretching their faces like it's an elastic bond, countless and speedy attacks that couldn't be seen by the naked eye.

They were in the midst of their childish feuds when Sougo sensed some presence around them. He suddenly stopped, and took off his hands from Kagura's hair.

"HAH. Finally accepting your defeat? Then bow before me! Hahaha!" Kagura said.

He ignored her and suddenly took out his bazooka then fired it to nowhere.

"Oi, what was that Sadist? Are you really out of your mind?" she continued.

She noticed his change of expression, he looked serious now. That's when she knew that the enemies have already caught up to them. She held her umbrella ready to fire at them.

The smoke produced by the impact of Sougo's bazooka was still there.

"I can do this on my own, China. Don't get in my way." He said, still holding his bazooka.

"Don't look down on me, Bastard. I can still kick their asses with just one hand." She replied, standing next to him while holding her umbrella.

"Danna would get mad at me if something would happen to you, then that pair of glasses would just nag at me like a mother. Ah. And you're father would kill me."

"I don't care whatever would happen to you Sadist. I'll do what I want."

"I'll give you 10 packs of sukonbu, just get the hell out of here."

"You think that would work on me?"

He took out one pack of sukonbu, "Hai, fetch." And threw it backwards.

Faster than a cheetah, she sped towards that pack of sukonbu and caught it before it could even reach the ground.

"I didn't know you were this easy to manipulate, China." He said.

"Oi, don't ever think I'm the easy-to-get type of girl." Said she as she had already started munching a whole piece of that snack, she looked back and started walking, "You still owe me 99 packs of sukonbu."

"Our deal was only 10, right? What a monster you are."

"That's not enough to bribe me Sadist."

"Oh well, good thing, Hijikata lent me his wallet without his permission. "he said.

She was already moving forward but he grabbed her hand that stopped her and pulled her close to him. She got surprised a bit but he just let him. Though usually, she would protest and fight it out with that Sougo, this time, she just..doesn't feel like it. She raised her head to look at his face, while he looked down to have a sight of her. They stared at each going deeply into each other's eyes, cerulean and reddish brown, that was the first time they had appreciated those colors; or maybe, it was a beautiful sight for them?

He leaned closer as he tightened his grip on her hand. He kissed her forehead.

"Heh. Now we're equal." He said with a grin on his face.

He let go of her hand as soon as the smoke had started disappearing.

She was still facing him, with little distance between the two of them, "Don't you die on me, Sadist." Said she with a straight look on her face.

"I won't. Sadists have long lives after all." He said, "Plus, Hijikata's still alive."

He moved forward. The enemies had appeared with their weapons charging towards them.

"Sadist…" she murmured..enough for Sougo to heard that..

"What? I have no sukonbu left..just hold on your stomach for a while." He said.

"Jerk! That's not what I want. Here." She handed him her parasol. "Take this."

"Eh?" he can't believe this. Now the China girl was sacrificing her most ever precious weapon for him. "And you? You wanna die?"

"I'm not as stupid as you.. heroines can't die easily.." she proudly said.

"Heh?you treat yourself as a heroine here..Come on China, You only sucks.."

"Just take it and fight for your ass!Moron!"

And finally, she walked away from there.

He didn't look back; he just grinned and said, "Thanks, my cute China monster wife."

He just knew she trusts him a lot, just like that Rokaku incident, she left him not because she abandoned him but because, she believes that he would come back. Words are not needed anymore, they just have this mutual understanding of trust; and besides it would be too embarrassing for them to say those words directly.

He charged into them, with just him, his blade and his bazooka.

Kagura was on her way back to the Yato Village..But her mind was still focused on her bastard husband..

"I'll be back sadist…so don't make me worry about you…" she whispered.

Back to Mashiro…

She had opened her eyes; just to see herself getting tied up while lying on foam like a hostage. She examined the place where she was and noticed it was the same ware house that contained those illegal drugs.

"You're finally awake, huh?"

It sounded familiar to her, upon hearing the voice she looked in front of her where it came from. She was right, it was from someone she knew.

"Abuto." She uttered.

He was sitting in front of her, with his hands hanging freely between his thighs.

"It's not like I'm going to hurt you. Yahiro's gang was the one who tied you up." He said.

That's when she noticed how loose it was that she could easily take it off. She sat down on that foam to be more comfortable.

She held her wrists, examining them simultaneously, she faced Abuto, "But you were the one who beat me up a while ago, right?"

"That was just an order from someone."

"Then….It was Kamui, am I right?"

He just nodded.

"He's the culprit for all of these."

He nodded once again.

_So I was right, huh? _"That's why the enemies were stronger, they were the Harusames after all." She concluded.

Silence filled the air, Mashiro came into deep thought.

"Then, Takasugi is also here?" she asked.

"Huh? Why are you asking that? They're not he-"

But the girl didn't intend to listen to his answer in the first place.

"Kamui and Takasugi have become allies, right?"she continued.

"Well, yeah."he answered.

"Then….Then…." she said.

*Fujoshi mode: ON*

"Don't tell me they are hiding somewhere, in their own little world, doing some indecent things creating such explicit sounds like *bleeeeeeeeep* then *tooooooooooot*?…..Who's the seme? Who's the uke? It's Kamui right? Then Takasugi is the attacker…Then…Then…." She covered her face, "Kyaaaaaaah! Two psychotic and violent guys doing 'THIS' and 'THAT'. I WANT TO SEE THAT!" her breathing got heavier, "Wait…wait… then…are you jealous, Abuto? I was a fan of your pairing before but when Takasugi came….KYAAAAAAAH! They're so perfect for each other! OMG! Sougo is even here! The 170cm trio is complete! It's a love triangle!"

"Still no change at all, huh?" he said while scratching his hair.

She stopped and finally calmed down, "My bad."

He let out a sigh, " You want to see him, don't you?"

"Of course. I want to see him go lovey dovey with Takasugi then I'd take lots of pictures and put them in my treasured Boy's Love album."

"If you want I have lots here." He said as he took out some photos from his pocket.

She quickly held the pictures he was holding, but his hands were faster than hers that he was able to pull them back right before she could hold onto them.

"Only if you'd join us." Abuto continued.

She grinned, and as fast as the wind she jump back to the exit of that ware house.

"Hah." She said, "Do you think these kiddy fan service pictures are enough for me to betray them? Don't be so naïve, Abuto. Even an explicit and hard core yaoi won't budge me." *looks at the pictures*,"Damn. They're so sweet." She murmured.

"Yeah, except you have already stolen them from me."

She continued to browse every picture.

"Look, You're nose is already bleeding."

Confirming it, she took out her hanky and wiped them, she faced Abuto once again, with the straight look on her face, she said, "Whatever. Just tell him he should try becoming the seme even once."

*looks at the pictures again* *drools*

Then she looked back once again towards the exit.

"The Captain may not say it directly, but he doesn't want you to be his enemy." He spoke, loud enough to catch her attention.

She suddenly stopped walking.

"And he's been craving to see you once again."

She confronted him, "Heh." She grinned sarcastically, "Don't fuck around me. He's just some airhead who only thinks about fighting and killing; a cold-hearted bastard who could easily abandon anyone, be it his friend or family…." She paused a bit, "Or even his lover." She wore her usual impassive face, with that cynical grin.

She didn't let Abuto speak another word, she just left that warehouse.

"He's an idiot after all." Abuto said.

In a vast land with nothing but the muddy ground, the rain just continued pouring. Countless bodies; alive or not; could be seen lying everywhere, bathing in blood that had mixed with the rain.

A young man was standing there with his umbrella to protect him and before him was a guy holding into his katana while leaning his body on his bazooka. Both of them stained with blood all throughout their bodies, some belonged to their own system but most of it were from the guys they had defeated.

They were standing on top of those bodies, though the two of them didn't seem to care a bit.

He reached out his hand to the person in front of him, while smiling care freely, "So, it's a deal, my Brother-in-law?"

He accepted the offer, "Heh." He wiped the blood on his face with just his thumb, "I'm in, ONII-CHAN." He smirked sadistically.

They shook hands, the deal is closed.

**END OF THE CHAPTER**

*revives*YES! FINALLY CHAPTER 10 IS HERE! Phew, another long chapter. I just can't write it as short as I could; ideas keep coming to my mind. I'm so sorry.

I'm soooo sorry that you had to wait veeeeeery long. Was it 2 or 3 months? Seriously, somewhere along those months, I came to a point where I thought, "Am I still able to write a fanfic?" that I was thinking of passing all of the responsibilities to Sou-chan. Gomen. And btw thanks for the draft (which she sent me since last last month).

To all those eagerly waiting chapter by chapter, we're so grateful of you. We'll try to update ASAP! I think this has become our responsibility not just a fanfic for fun. Or not? And thanks for the great feed backs for chapter 9, all of your reviews inspired us.

I hope you liked this chapter, reviews would be very much appreciated.

p.s. I'm so sorry if Abuto is ooc here. I still don't get how he talks or his personality.

* From the Rain Song of K- ON!


	11. Chapter 11

Warning! Warning! This chapter is Rated T (contains author's fangurliness and lotsa kisses) and it is very long. *bows*

_Ah. The rain; it just kept pouring. _

_Without a care on what's underneath, it just carried on falling down; moistening the soil around me. Here I am, drenched in the rain; dirtied by the mud; frozen by this weather. Those droplets of water trickling down to my face continuing to pour down to my body; _ _my clothes dampened by the drizzle. _

_It was so noisy. The sound of the rain was the only thing I could hear._

It was a vast land, with nothing on sight. A girl was sitting there in the midst of the downpour; her thighs touching the soil and her hands gripping tightly of her limbs. Her long locks akin to the colour of the sun almost reaching her waist, covering her face; a few got attached to her skin due to its dampen state. Her stare completely locked on the mud beneath her.

She hasn't moved from that position.

_Blood._

A tinge of crimson mixed with the trail of water flowing towards her. Though still refusing; she took the courage to look in front of her. Little by little; she lifted her head. She was trembling.

As her eyes came into full view of the sight; she tilted her head; her hair moving along with it. Her face was blank, it showed no expression. Even her eyes were empty that showed no will to live anymore. It felt creepy.

There; just a few meters away from her.

A young guy stood; probably in his late teens. He had a long pinkish orange hair with a single braid. He wore a Chinese clothing tinted of black; paired with white pants that almost reached his feet and a cloak covering his attire. He was holding an umbrella that matched with his upper clothing.

And that guy; was killing her parents.

He was having fun; and she just knew it even with the lengthy distance between them; his devious smirk was just enough evidence for his enjoyment. His braid floated to the air together with his cloak as he sprinted towards his targets. He was still shielding himself from the rain using his umbrella. The mud splattered with the movements of his feet.

He didn't care about the two figures in front of him who were struggling for their lives fighting him. He had already given them crucial damages in their bodies; probably even their internal organs were already affected.

He closed his umbrella and transformed it into his weapon. It was a gun after all.

BANG! BANG!

They were both lying on the ground. More of their blood splattered as it blended with the rain.

_They were both staring at me; I may not hear it well, but I know they're calling out to me; with all the strength left in their battered bodies; they were yelling, "Run away, Ma-"_

BANG! BANG!

They died; right at that moment. He killed them with no mercy in mind.

He licked his palm filled with blood together with a grin; that grin that showed blood lust. His blue orbs were wide open with no rationality anymore. He loved the sight of two corpses he created right in front of him.

He sensed another presence. He totally forgot about it since he got too concentrated with killing. He faced her and suddenly; approached her.

She remained at her position; with her stare completely onto him.

_He killed my parents; that stranger took away my only family. Those parent who cherished me; the only ones, who cared for me; who gave me life and now they are gone...forever. They won't be coming back anymore._

She then looked up at the sky.

_But I'm not crying; not even a drop of tear is shedding. It must be the rain...I guess._

The girl changed the direction of her stare; it was fixed on him once again and so was he while he held his umbrella leaning it on his shoulder.

She was still in the same position.

His steps got closer to her; but she won't move an inch.

_Ohhh...So this is it, huh? I don't care anymore; I don't have the reason to live after all._

She just knew it; every step he takes means the shortening of her life. She'll be killed by him soon.

His footsteps were becoming more audible to her ears. She just closed her eyes.

_At least I'd be with my parents now._

"Heh. So this is the daughter that they were talking about." He suddenly spoke.

She then opened her eyes and saw that guy right in front of her. He was sitting with his legs apart and his body was not touching the ground. His hands hung freely on his knees while his right hand held his umbrella. He was sharing his only protection from that rain with her.

She examined his face; he seemed to have calmed down already. He was smiling normally; just a carefree smile leaving the traces of his deeds a while ago.

Blood was scattered in his clothes; even to his face.

"They've been begging for your life a while ago; and I'm kind enough to honour their death wish." He tilted his head, "So, you'll have your revenge on me, right?" he said while still wearing that stupid and innocent smile.

Her passive face changed all of a sudden. She stared keenly at him; she smiled sarcastically and spoke up with confidence, "I won't."

That gave him a surprise that his eyes opened widely, "Oh?"

"Losing to your blood of Yato, huh?" her grin got bigger, "How pathetic."

_I didn't know what had gotten into me; but knowing that he won't kill me really surprised me. I mean; acting like a killing machine a while ago that only knew taking away other's life; and now talking to me like a normal guy. I always knew that was the fate of the Yatos, fighting comes with our blood line after all. The thirst for blood cannot be stopped._

_I just...pity him._

He closed his eyes once again and grinned like an idiot, "Now, you're quite interesting. You are?" he asked.

Her grin worn off, "Mashiro." She spoke.

They were staring at each other's eyes. Both of them captured with each other's gaze. He held her cheek cupping his hand on it.

"Mashiro, huh?" he repeated with amusement on his voice; as he gently stroke her dampened hair.

He felt each strand touching his fingers while it reached its ends his hand was slowly going back to her cheek this time caressing it with his thumb that moved in a semi circular motion. He then traced her lips with that finger; lightly pressing it. They were moistened by her saliva and also by the rain; but that soft sensation he experienced as his finger laid on her lips; he began craving for it. His hands went down and rested on her neck; his thumb on the edge of her jaw while it supported her head to tilt slowly. His other fingers remained on her neck; he moved his thumb lightly like tracing her jaw and that tickled her a bit.

He placed his umbrella on the ground. He tilted his head while it was gently pushing towards hers. His lips opened slightly as he slowly closed his eyes. She just copied him and didn't even refuse.

He kissed her lips. He bit the lower part as it got trapped in between his; and with just her reflexes reacting; she returned that kiss; her upper lip gently touching his.

He got deeper and bit her harder that it produced blood; they shared the same metallic taste that spread throughout their mouths. He then held her head with his other hand and pulled it towards him forcibly; with that monstrous strength he had even with just the use of one hand. He grasped into strands of her hair with tenderness in his grip.

She just remained still; she didn't push him away nor did she respond to his touches. She just sat there and allowed him to do what he wanted.

He finally pulled away and took off his hands from both her head and her neck. He got his umbrella and stood up while he licked the trace of blood in his lips. He took off his cloak and gave it to her; though it was drenched with mixed blood and water. It served as her blanket. He just looked back and she just followed the sight of that guy who just kissed her.

He waved his hand; "I'm Kamui, by the way."

Even with the overwhelming sound of the rain, it was still audible to her ears. And so, he walked away, leaving the poor girl in the midst of the rain.

"Ah. That was my first kiss." Said she, as she hugged herself with the cloak he gave her, "Well, Whatever."

_Ironically, it was love at first sight._

**oooo**

_After that incident; since I had no parents anymore, I was adopted by Yahiro who was...wait..come to think of it, are they my relatives? Ah. Whatever. It was not a good thing anyway; I became his puppet who would do all the things he told me. All the dirty jobs that he does in the shadows were all passed down to me. And yeah, it included assassination. It's not that I didn't have a choice; it's just that...I didn't care. Well, I got tired with my life after all. I was just like a walking corpse or maybe a robot; who may be moving, but deep inside; I was empty. I may be living in flesh, but my soul; had already left me since that day._

_I never hated anything. I never hated the world who took away my parents; the reason why things have gone like this; why I became alone, heartless and someone who have forgotten about emotions. I never tried investigating about my parents' assassination; or tried researching about that guy who killed them._

_I never thought about revenge; or accessing the H*ll site to call the H*ll girl and extract my vengeance for me; I'd rather do that to see Ichimoku Ren. He's a hottie anyway, kinda._

_It would just be a waste of time; waste of energy. They won't come back anyway whatever I do; or even that self-gratification you'll have after fulfilling your revenge; it won't make me happier or change anything. Revenge would just give me negative emotions; hatred, sadness, longing while thinking, 'This is for the sake of my parents' and doing things more than revenge along the way. It's just a selfish thought not being able to escape from that tragic past. I'm sure my parents wouldn't want that anyway._

_I'm neither a masochist nor a sadist. If I live then I live; if I die; then I die. Anything's fine for me. I simply just don't care about anything anymore._

_Ah. I take that back; I still cared about one thing; BOY'S LOVE._

_Then after a year; I became a member of space pirates; the 7th squad of the Harusame. I didn't know why or how; but someone recruited me to that ship. Well, Yahiro; who became my guardian; allowed me to work there since he kinda know the leader of that group, I guess?_

First day of stay..

They were all eyeing on me as I came inside that ship, probably because I was the only girl there. Reverse harem? Nah. I'd rather see them do 'those' kind of things while hiding somewhere here. Better be sharp to catch them on act.

One of the guys there was generous enough to lead me to my room. He gave me my keys and just told me, "You'll meet the Captain later."

It was big enough to accommodate me. It had a single bed; with two pillows and a blanket ehough for a single person, one wooden cabinet as tall as I am in front of the bed and a table right beside it; few meters away from the door.

After fixing my things; I sat on the chair placed in front of the table and began my 'Private time.' Yes, boy X boy romances.

It must be in the blood that I fell in love with these kinds of things right away. After my parents died, I was given a medium-sized box which was from my mother. It says, "These are the treasures of our family, take care of it." It contained BL mangas; animes, novels etc, from rated K to rated M. These became my enjoyment, something that gave a little bit of spice in my life.

"Maybe I should try Seka* Ich* Hats*ko* (A yaoi anime)." I spoke to myself.

As I continued my 'Private time', I noticed the ruckus outside. They were running like busy ants and I could clearly hear their footsteps even if the door was closed.

"Have you seen the Captain?" one of them asked.

"Not yet. He escaped from his meeting again." The other answered.

_Ohhh...So the Captain is missing huh? That's one unreliable leader we have there._

It's not my business so I'll just continue watching here, it's my favourite part anyway. I just focused my eyes on the screen and watched it properly, while wearing earphones on max volume to enjoy it more.

While watching I heard something fell from above, but I didn't care and just continued.

"Hehhh... Mashiro?"

Even with the max volume, I heard it clearly. That gentle voice that would deceive anyone. It was a voice I would never forget; it resonated on my ears; It's him and I just know it. I began thinking if I was just hearing things, or maybe I was just tired. But still, I tried confirming it. I took off my ear phone and faced him.

On my left, a guy was sitting care freely. That braid, the colour of hair, those clothes; yeah, positive, it was him. I was amazed, seeing him just in front of me, somehow, it felt magical or maybe it was fate? I was captivated by his stare, his blue orbs was just to addicting to look at; my mouth agape with him.

_Okay. Once again, I take back what I said, there were two things I cared about; Boy's Love and...this guy._

This is not my imagination, right? He's real, right? He's still the same, having that kind of stupid expression; that fake smile he wore.

He tilted his head, "You're Mashiro, right?"

With a blank, uninterested expression, I answered him, "Ohh...If it isn't the murderer of my parents. It's been a long time. "

"Ahahaha...saying such things nonchalantly, you're still as interesting as ever."

Yeah, I may have been longing to see him once again after that incident, but even if he's right on front of me right now, I'm unable to express such emotions anymore. He's my First love and up until now, my feelings remained the same, in fact it even grew more. I guess the 'First love never dies' saying perfectly fit me. But still, with him in front of me, I'm not having those, 'bathump bathump' reaction after having this 'fateful encounter.'

"Then if you'll excuse me, I'm still busy here." I told him with a straight forward face. I just faced my laptop once again, completely ignoring his presence.

"Busy with what?" he asked.

I just focused on what I was watching; it was 'that' part after all, and I have to keep my eyes glued on the screen to see each and every move that they do. This is more important at this moment.

I could hear him repeatedly calling my name but I just ignored it.

"Aryaya...It's been ages since we saw each other, and now you're giving me the cold shoulder." he said and gave a grin.

Without any thought of leaving my eyes from the screen, all of a sudden the ear phones were disconnected with the laptop. Now the sounds from what I was watching were echoing inside my room.

*sounds were BLEEEEEP-ed since it was too explicit*

"You were into these things?" he asked and when I saw him, he was already watching together with me.

I faced him, "The more extreme; more explicit; more perverted it is, the better. I enjoy it more."

"Ohhh." He responded like he was amused with my answer.

I began examining his whole body, from head to foot and noticed something from him.

_He's an uke. No doubt about it._

He was staring back at me, confused with my actions. We were just staring at each other. Then there were voices that echoed from outside the room.

"Abuto-san! Captain Kamui is still nowhere to be found!" one of them said.

"Keh. That idiot." The other one answered.

His antenna began twitching. Hearing them amused him more.

"So they're still finding for me, huh?" he said.

_Then he's my boss, huh? _"Wait...How did you enter my room by the way?" I asked him.

He just pointed up his finger; I followed that direction and there was a hole there. You know that usual passage used for escape route, that narrow one where they would crawl inside it then coming down from it through a hole.

"So that's how." I faced him once again, "Now, get out of here." I said with coldness in my voice.

He was staring at me, while smiling, "And if I don't want?" he asked.

"I'll shout, 'KYAAAAAAH. Help me, Captain Kamui is SEXUALLY HARASSING me.'" It was in a dead panned tone.

"Fine by me, and if you want; I can do that for real." He said as his grin grew more, like he was teasing me.

Then I suddenly pointed my dagger hidden somewhere in my body, since I always had that for safety purposes, on his neck, "No seriously, just get out. You're interfering with my luxury time."

"Ohoh...What a violent girl you are."

"Says the one who brutally murdered my parents."

"Haha...Okay, I get it. I'll get out already."

He stood up and climbed to that hole, then he poked out his head after his body had gone inside the passage and said, "Til next time, Mashiro."

He was finally gone; I just let off a big sigh.

_Just why did I fall in love with that guy? Wait..then maybe 'Love is blind' fits me better._

**oooo  
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And so, I continued working for the Harusame. Nothing special; just doing transactions with other groups, following the orders of the higher ups; just like how normal space pirates would do. I didn't talk that much to anyone unless it is needed; they're not the friendly type anyway the same goes for me. I would just lock myself in my room and have my 'private time'.

Months had passed since I first came here; and I still haven't talked to Kamui ever since that time. I may see him several times but I would just watch him from far away; it would be troublesome if others see us getting closer. I think? Well he's our Captain anyway and talking with him may get unwanted attention from others. There was a time when he waved at me; but I just ignored him and pretended I didn't see him.

I was at the roof of the deck of that ship, where you could clearly see the space. I just sat there with my feet hanging freely as I read a BL manga. One hand was holding the book and the other one was grasping on the edge.

With my thumb I tried flipping the page of that manga, but I suddenly heard a voice behind me.

"Wait, I'm still reading that page."

Of course I recognize that voice well. I stopped my movements and turned my head around to face him, and there he was squatting as he chomped another piece of onigiri. His cheek puffed like a squirrel eating a whole acorn.

"Don't talk when your mouth is full." I told him.

He then swallowed everything in his mouth and began talking, "You sound like a mother you know."

He sat beside me with the same position as I am; his feet were swinging back and forth. I laid down the book I was reading.

"Why are you here, by the way?" he asked me.

"Just to breathe some air." I answered.

"Ohhhh..."

Silence filled the air. We had nothing to talk about anyway, I had nothing to tell him and it's not like we're close or anything. We just stared in front of us; looking at the endless space ahead.

"Ne ne, Why won't you have revenge on me?" he asked out of nowhere while staring at me with curiosity.

I didn't stare back, "Too troublesome."

"Because I'm too strong for you?"

"That can be one of the reasons. But seriously I think it would just waste my time."

"Why?"

*sigh*"They won't come back to life anymore." Finally I faced him, "Unless you've gathered the 7 Dr*gon B*lls and make Sh*n L*ng appear; I might change my mind."

"Ohhhh..Is that so? I think you just don't care about them."

He bent his body a bit as he tilted his head. He clutched tightly to the edge cautious of the possibility of falling down. He looked so serious with confusion plastered in his face, his eyes on me. His feet was swinging back and forth.

"Of course not."

He stopped his movements and sat properly once again.

"They're the ones I cherished the most. Every day I would be patiently waiting for their return even though they are both busy with their jobs I just know that they'll come back just for me. Even if I was alone; even with that gloomy place; seeing them is something I always look forward to everyday of my life."

It took a while before I realized the content of my words.

_Ah. Crap. Did I just open up with him? It's not like he cares about these things—_

It must've been my imagination; but for one second I saw him changed his facial expression. He had this painful look in his face; like it triggered some bad memories with what I said or he regretted something.

"Heh...But you were not even crying that time." he said while he was smiling.

_Yeah, it was just my imagination._

"You were too pitiful that time that I don't feel like crying for their sake anymore."

"Ehhhhh...Why do you say that? It was your parents who died right?" he was still smiling.

"I mean they were fighting to protect me; their most precious and irreplaceable daughter. They would risk their own lives for me. They had a reason that they won't ever regret. While you...you just killed them. Without anyone in mind but just your Yato blood taking over your whole self; becoming a killing machine. You're just like a kid. Too pathetic."

"Ahahaha...Isn't that harsh? Though I didn't get a thing of what you just said. I think being weak is more pathetic. They just died in front of you without putting up a good fight, right?" he just replied.

"Talking it out with you would just be a waste of time." then I held my book and stood up from that place, I started walking, "I'll just continue this on my room. Bye." Then waved my hand.

"And here I thought she's just the same as me." he said while he kept swinging his feet.

_Ah. Before I forgot._ I stopped my movements and faced him once, "Kamui." I called.

He faced me hearing his name, "Hmm?"

"Happy birthday." I said with a smile, a genuine one. _Oh. I smiled I think I should celebrate._

It has been a long time since a smile was carved on my lips.

I came here just to greet him and knowing that he frequents in this place at this time, it was really planned for me to come here just to tell him that. Does that make me a stalker?

He just grabbed my right wrist that I just kneeled on the floor. He tilted his head and began closing his eyes. My head kept pushing forward towards his face while he kept pulling my wrist to lessen the distance between our faces.

He kissed me on my lips.

It lasted for a couple of seconds and finally he pulled away. He opened his eyes and stared at me.

He smiled, "Your present for me." it was a teasing smile like he just won over me.

_Damn you, Kamui. You just make me fall deeper in love with you. _

**oooo **

And that's how we became closer, well not that close, more like talking more to each other than usual. He would always sneak into my room whenever he didn't feel like attending meetings; saying, "Ahahaha...Abuto can handle that." And yeah, together with that stupid smile on his face. Then he would watch BL stuffs with me; he also read the mangas and doujinshis. He wouldn't feel disgusted seeing two men doing 'such' things which made me think that maybe, he really is a Bi or a homo. I don't mind at all, in fact that would make me happy.

He would always lean on me with our shoulders attached. Even when we're watching; since there's only one chair there; he would really force himself there just to sit beside me. Then he would just fall asleep there while he rested his head on my shoulder having that serene expression in his face. Yes fangirls, that 'ATTACK TIME' kind of face; looking so weak, so innocent which is too opposite from his psychotic, violent and sadistic nature. He's just like a child and also, an airhead.

He loves to kiss me. Whenever he felt like it, he would just come closer to my face and kiss me that instant. I remember one time, I was just walking along the hallways of the ship. Well we just ate our dinner so there were also other members of the Harusame walking with me. I was heading in my room; when someone had suddenly grabbed my hand and brought me to the narrow and dark passageway connected on that hallway. That person just held my waist and wrist then started inching towards my face.

It was dark but I felt lips brushing against mine.

He pulled away though still holding onto me. That's when I realized who that person was; it was Kamui. He just came back from his mission.

"I thought you were a pervert."

"So that's why you're holding a dagger,huh?" I just nodded, then he let off a sigh,"You should learn closing your eyes when kissing me, Mashiro."

"Welcome back, Kamui." I said as I gripped lightly onto his clothes on his chest.

I came closer to his face and kissed him; this time closing my eyes. I saw him grin after that kiss.

Then there were also times when he would pin me down to my bed; seizing both my hands. One time, I told him, "Just don't go beyond kissing."

He suddenly stopped and looked at me with confusion, "What's beyond kissing?"

That really surprised me, I thought it was just a joke but his face was really serious at that time. I really thought that he'd be the type of guy who would toy around girls. But to think that he's innocent with these kinds of things, yeah, he's a Cherry Boy. A Bishounen Cherry Boy.

We may be physically close; we may do things like lovers and such; but there's one thing that I know. We are NOT lovers. I know it very well that this person, is someone who is not capable of 'falling in love'; he's heartless after all. And I, may just be his pass time

**oooo**

I heard a knock on my door.

_Nah. It can't be Kamui. He never showed up normally by going through the door._

It has been days since I last saw Kamui. He was on a mission I think? Puzzled to who it was, I came straight towards the door to open it and what it revealed was...

"Abuto." I just said.

With that half closed eyes that seemed to have no motivation at all, he stared at me.

"The Captain's asking you to go to his room." He said.

_Oh. Come to think about it I have never entered his room._

I was just staring at him and so was he. Then he began scratching his messy hair and looked down.

"That airhead." Then stared back at me, "Just don't do anything wild there, okay?"

He knew everything all along. He knew what was going on between Kamui and I. Well he's his right hand anyway.

_Wait, does this mean he's jealous? Don't worry I'll always be rooting for the two of you._

That said; Abuto lead me to our Captain's room. As we reached the door, he just left me there.

"If he does something to you, don't hold back on beating the crap out of him." he advised me before he walked away.

And so, I held the knob and peeked inside as the door opened with just my head popping out. I roamed my eyes around to examine the room. It was twice bigger than mine. He's our Captain after all, the leader of this ship. I scanned the place more to look for him, he was lying on his bed. I finally decided to step a foot and come inside the room.

I just stood by his bed and silently observed him. He was sleeping soundly, just like a kid unknown of this world. He looked so innocent, so fragile like he could break anytime. Just looking at his serene expression makes me feel at ease. He looked cute this way. It makes me forget that this guy is actually a psychotic killer who would kill anyone without feeling anything.

He was leaning on his right with a pillow used as a cushion to support his head. He had a blanket with him with a size slightly bigger than him with just his right hand popping out from beneath that blanket forming a fist though it was formed lightly. His braid was kind of messy as it hung freely to his neck going down to the pillow. His lips slightly opening as he took a breath. His eyes tightly shut like he was having a good dream.

He was too off guard, gazing upon his face on his weakest state. Anyone could take advantage of him with this situation.

"Kamui, you'd be a mass murderer if you show that kind of face in public. Fan girls would die on the spot." I said, "The author had already lost lots of blood just by imagining this scene."

That's when I noticed a little cabinet beside his bed; having the same height as it is. An idea crossed my mind so I squatted in front of that furniture.

"Just a little bit of investigating won't hurt." I said, while opening the cabinet.

And what a big surprise, as soon as it opened a book was inside it and it was no ordinary book; it was a porn magazine.

I got it from there and scanned it a bit, "Must be because of what I said before."

I was about to return it but then something more surprising caught my eyes. Underneath that book, there were pictures. They were pictures of people who share the same face as him. I didn't need to think about it deeply, I knew it, without investigating or searching for clues, that these people are...his family.

It piqued my interest more. I took all the pictures there and began looking at it. There were about 10 of them. Most of it showed an image of a young girl about 5yrs of age who wore buns on both sides of her head. She was always wearing a smile as bright as the sun. He also had pictures with her. They share the same colour of hair and eyes. Yeah it was his little sister. There pictures of her from her childhood to her early teens.

"He must be checking up on her secretly, huh? I didn't know he had a Sister Complex." I said.

Then I saw a picture of a lad who seemed different from them. He had a light brown hair and reddish brown eyes; a certified bishie. On the back was a note that says, 'Must be killed ^v^'

"Quite the overprotective big bro huh?"

Then there was also a woman just the same physical characteristic as the siblings. She was their mother. There was one picture of their whole family. It was a picture ages ago, when Kamui was still in his early teens. They were all smiling, just like a normal family contented with each other. He too was smiling in that picture, a very different smile from the current one. It was genuine, it reflected his real feelings. He looked so happy.

I researched a bit about his family background. I knew how he abandoned his family and even tried killing his own father. He just left his little sister alone with their dying mother in that dirty dump, in our homeland that bathed in the rain. I could imagine how that poor girl felt that time when her big brother abandoned her; walking away with a smile in his face; sounding so cold and heartless as he threw away all the memories he shared with them; the bond he had with his family. He was like a bird that flew away from his nest without any thought of returning.

Looking at these pictures, I began thinking. He has not yet moved on from the past. Yeah he may act the opposite but I know, he still cherished his family.

I laid the pictures on the floor and knelt down to face his bed. He was still sleeping soundly. I crossed my arms and rested them on his bed. I leaned my head on my arms; tilted on the right side. I stared at his face just inches away from mine.

"Ne Kamui." I called softly.

He didn't move an inch. He remained sleeping even with my voice calling into him.

"Tell me." I continued as I squeezed my arms lightly, leaning more to my arms. I was confident that he would not wake up so I took the courage of asking him.

"Did you ever regret abandoning your family?"

As I spoke those words he began opening his eyes slowly. He slightly opened his mouth while a smile was forming in his lips, and said...

"Yeah. I've always did."

Yes, he was smiling but...it looked so painful. It gave an ache in my heart seeing him smile like that. It was filled with regret, like it was something that can't be undone anymore; something that he wanted to change but he just can't; something that may have given him the desire to come back to the past. He may be half sleep, he may not be conscious of what he just said at that moment, but I know that this is his real feelings. This is what he'd been hiding deep within him all this time.

He closed his eyes once again.

I buried my head in my crossed arms and let off a sigh.

_Damn you Kamui. Just why are you showing me your 'dere' side now?_

He's been caged to his past. He just can't move on. He must've been thinking how her little sister suffered being alone as she watched their mother die slowly. How day by day she would bear the pain of seeing her Mami in that state, while still in her young age. How she needed comfort from someone older than her, someone that could give her strength. Yeah, they still had a father but he's fully knowledgeable of how seldom he comes home. Despite that, her little sister would just quietly wait for her Papi looking forward to seeing him always.

His mom died without him by her side. He wasn't even able to say 'Good bye' to her properly; or maybe he was too coward to face her in her death bed; smiling at him with her last strength and telling him her last words as she takes the last breath of her life. It may be too painful for him to bear.

He preferred to be known as the villain.

Realizing all these things, I began to think, _Then he's capable of falling in love?_

I finally raised my head and faced him once again, _Nah. Impossible._ "Don't get my hopes up, Kamui."

I tilted my head once again and tried reaching out into his cheek using my left hand.

"It feels so warm." I said as my palm rested on his face.

After a couple of seconds...

_Wait. Isn't this too warm? Eh? Don't tell me..._

I began examining him. That's when I noticed his flushed face and heavy panting. I tried comparing his temperature with mine. Yeah, positive.

"It's fever." I just let off a sigh, "I thought idiots don't catch colds? Wait...Are Yatos even capable of having fever?"

_So he wanted me to be his private nurse, huh? _ I sighed once again.

I looked for anything that could help him ease his fever. Thankfully there was a basin of water and a damp cloth underneath his bed. I took it out and placed it over the drawer. I also returned the things I took out from there.

"Guess I should try giving him bed bath first. Then I'll ask for meds later." I spoke to myself.

I dipped the cloth in the basin and twisted it to take off the excess water. I stood up beside the bed once again and placed my hands on my hips.

_Wait. Then I have to take off his clothes?_

"It can't be helped. It's not like I'm taking advantage of you Kamui."

I held the blanket and folded it to expose his upper body. And to my surprise, he was already half naked, with just his boxe- errr...pants on him.

He suddenly changed his position; he then faced the ceiling with his body lying flat on the bed. His right arm curved in a 45degree angle, his hand was forming like a cat's paw while his other arm was extending diagonally slightly curved with his hand having the same form as the other one. He was in the middle of the bed.

I knelt on the bed and started wiping the upper limb on his right side then to the left, frequently dipping the cloth into the water. And now, to his upper body.

I suddenly stopped. It was a disturbing sight for me. He may look girly but, his body is too manly. He had a perfectly toned chest combined with 6-pack abs. He really had some muscle in those parts and it was completely proportional with the size of his body. It was filled with sweats. Droplets of water trickling down as his chest having little movements going upwards and downwards for every breath he takes. He looked so hot and sexy and...

(Author: DIED)

"Now you've killed the author."

I leaned closer to him, but then he suddenly opened his eyes, and stared at me, "Mashiro?" he asked while still sounding so sleepy, his eyes half opened and his brows furrowed.

"Yes I am." I answered.

"Hug me." he suddenly demanded.

"I refuse." I replied staring seriously at him.

He suddenly raised his body, wrapped his arms on my neck and dragged me down the bed. He pulled me closer to his chest. My head was burying into his neck; my face completely feeling his flesh. My hands were placed in his torso formed like a paw. He finally took his hands off me while I slightly raised my head to have a glimpse of his face.

_Now that I think about it, the AC is on, so what's the point of wiping his body when he'll just feel colder?_

I just rested my face into him once again; feeling his body.

_He's just too sexy. What the hell._

He lifted his body all of a sudden, he was half asleep. He got the blanket and covered it to the two of us then laid in the bed and continued his sleep.

He gently grasped my head pulling it towards his neck. He leaned his cheek into me; I just hugged him.

Before I knew it, I fell asleep in his arms.

**oooo**

After a couple of weeks..

I was given a mission and it was in the land of Yatos; my homeland. They didn't give me more details but just told me to come here and wait for someone. I just knew it, something's not right with this mission. I mean whenever I would be passing by, they would be talking about something and I know it concerned me. I was also not given missions these past few weeks and when I tried refusing this they kept on insisting me to do it without giving me any sound reason. Well, I just took it.

"What a nostalgic place this is." I spoke.

I was just standing there, the same place where I first met him. I held an umbrella and began scanning the place. Nothing had changed. It looked the same when I last saw it. I just rotated the handle of my umbrella to keep me entertained.

_This is where it all began, and I could vaguely guess that...this is where it would end._

Another presence came. I stopped with my movements to have a look on that person. I guess I didn't need to do that, I just knew who it was.

"So it's you huh? Captain."

He was approaching me. As always he held an umbrella and that endless smile plastered into his face.

"Ohh...That's the first time you called me Captain." He replied.

"This will be the last anyway." I just said.

He finally reached me, now he was standing in front of me.

I looked up on him, "Let me guess, the higher ups finally discovered that I am the daughter of the traitors, right? The ones who just left Harusame without a word then tried fleeing from this place, my parents."

"I thought you didn't care about that?"

The overwhelming sound of the rain didn't stop us from talking with each other.

"I got curious a bit and researched for it. You should be punished too, right? You knew that all along but you still took me in."

He was looking down on me.

"So that's why I'm here, right?"

I just gave a sarcastic grin, "Then you'd be my grim reaper, huh? But you love killing people don't you."

*SWISH*

Right after that conversation, he just swung his umbrella towards me and I did the same; both our weapons clashing into each other.

And so, the battle began. Even getting drenched by the rain, we didn't care. We just fought each other treating each other as enemies. Attacking, dodging, deflecting, jumping into the air, sprinting towards the other; we were like dancing. He's on the upper hand, I know it myself that I can never beat him. He's too strong for me, but I still decided to fight him since this will be the end.

But there's something weird about him, he may be hitting me but not on my vital parts. I thought he would defeat me easily, but I'm even on par with him. I finally realized that he's not taking me seriously. He came here without the thought of killing me.

_Then what did he come here for?_

Spacing off, he had shot both my limbs. I just fell on the soil with the mud splattering as I laid there. Seeing that I have fallen, he walked towards me while pointing his umbrella on my head.

"Shooting me would be easy, right? You've done this countless times after all." I told him.

He didn't move and just stood above me.

"What? You're sparing the life of this little girl again? Since when did you care about one's life?"

He then knelt with both his knees on the sides of my abdomen.

He gave me a smile, "I was having second thoughts, seeing how you put up a fight a while ago. You're quite strong you know? And here I thought you would just stand there and let yourself be killed right away."

"Just a little entertainment won't hurt."

"Perhaps that is your revenge, huh?"

"If you want it that way, then at least I'd die for my parents 'sake."

I just closed my eyes as I felt the metallic end of his umbrella coming near me. Once again, I felt that emotion of accepting my death at that moment.

But a thought suddenly crossed my mind, there was something I had to do before dying.

"Ne Kamui, would you let me have my death wish?" I said, and that moment he stopped his movements.

"I don't mind. This is your reward for giving me entertainment a while ago." He came closer to my face, "So, what is it?"

"Answer my question with honesty."

"Okay."

_It's not like I was hoping for something, but I thought that maybe I should hear it from him before I die._

I closed my eyes and took all the courage I had inside me and finally, I opened my eyes. Looking at his face, I was more convinced that I had to do this. These feelings inside me were overflowing at that moment, I couldn't stop it anymore. My eyes completely locked onto his, filled with sincerity, and asked..

"Did you ever love me?"

He changed his expression hearing that question, he just grinned with sarcasm plastered in it.

"Heh." He said, as he seized both my hands; just like what he always do. This time he held it with much more force than the usual, like he wouldn't want to let them go.

Without any more notice, his lips came crashing into mine. It was not as gentle as before, it was like he's forcing himself inside me. His kiss went deeper into my mouth, biting my lips and producing blood once again. I closed my eyes and felt his lips into mine. It lasted for a couple of seconds.

He finally pulled away while he took off his hands from me. He stood up and stared at me with those psychotic eyes he had when having this urge to kill someone. It looked so creepy.

"You should already know the answer." He said and turned his back on me, "I don't need such absurd emotion."

And he just walked away from me; once again leaving me behind in the middle of the rain.

Even with the intensity of the rain, I felt my tears gushing down to my face. I was crying. Not because he left me, or because of what he told me, but because, that guy...He was crying as he kissed me. He may say those words, but that salty taste I felt can never fool me.

"Why do you always want to be the bad guy here?" I covered my face with my arms, and closed my eyes, "He's such an airhead."

From then one, I buried these feelings I have for him and pretended to hate him. I'm quites sure that he would do the same.

I just want to share the same pain as him.

**oooo**

*blink blink*

Mashiro finally woke up from her afternoon siesta. After that talk with Abuto, she just came to her HQ and slept there. She rose from her bed while still clutching on her blanket. She stared blankly on the wall in front of her.

"Dreaming of the past, huh? Now that's rare." She spoke to herself.

She searched for her glasses which were on the table next to her bed. She wore it to have a better vision of her surroundings. Then she stood up and decided to go outside her room.

While walking...

She walked mindlessly. She had been thinking about her dream; she just couldn't get it out from her head.

"Ahhh...What the hell. Eating up a whole chapter just for unnecessary flashbacks?" She let off a big sigh, "Don't blame me if things get bad."

She kept on walking and suddenly bumped into tried looking up to see that person, "Ah...Sor-"

She was not able to finish her words since it was stopped by a kiss. She just felt lips brushing against hers and a hand holding her waist and her wrist. She didn't need to look at his face and check who it was, she just knew it.

He pulled away from the kiss, and looked down on her, he was smiling, "Mashiro."

"Kamui." I spoke.

_And now, he appears. Yeah, just great._

Hai~ chapter 11! Was the wait worth it? Or not? *gloom* Yeah, I understand you if you hate this chapter or you'd feel disappointed. It didn't have any OkiKagu moments and didn't even answer the mysteries last chapter; it also had no hilarious moments. Too different from the usual ,ne?

But I really just want to write this side story. Well, this has been planned way before I discovered the KamuNobu pairing.

Greetings to all my fellow writers in Gintamaaards; a group in FB, I guess?: kurasuchi, mazzal, mhizukie, rinho,

Love ye all~ and I'm so happy to have met yah~

Thanks for all the reviews! Just R&R if you don't mind.

P.S. I got lazy editing some parts so I'm sorry for the mistakes here.


	12. Chapter 12

Yo~ it's been a looooooong time eh? Let's just all be glad that we managed to update this **lloTL** Souchan and I worked really hard for this chapter.

Uhh... Actually, I'm thinking of writing Chapter 11.5, that KamuMash side story, Kamui's POV; but since the story must go on in this fic, it would be published separately, it would only be a one-shot after I still can't promise this.

**Rhaide,Souichirou-chan,Yuuichi,Yachiko: Haiiiii...Omake desu! *bows***

**Rhai: *looks at Yuuichi and Yachiko* Eh? Who are you?**

**Sou: *thinking* Ah! Baka Ouji and his wife! Congratulations!**

**Yuu: OIIIIIIIIIII! I'm Kagura's fiancé in this fanfic! The OC you created!**

**Yach: And I'm his sister!**

**Rhai&Sou: *reminiscing* Ah...They existed.**

**Yach: How could you even forget about important characters in this fanfic?!**

**Sou: Don't worry, at least you are in this Omake.**

**Rhai: And it may be your last exposure.**

**Yuu&Yach: NOOOOOOOOOOOO- *disappears***

**Hijikata: *puffs smoke*Tch. Why am I even here? Oi authors, hurry it up. Sougo's got a lot of work here.**

**Rhai&Sou:*gives mayonnaise***

**Hiji:W-well, I think a few more chapters won't hurt. *looks at the camera* Here's Instant Husband Chapter 12.**

* * *

><p>"Gin-san, this is bad."<p>

"Shut up, Shinpachi. I know that well."

"Hah. Yorozuya, cowering now?"

After Kamui had left the scene, the situation was getting out of hand. Gin, Shinpachi and Umibouzu were completely surrounded by the enemies, they were like cornered rats on the verge of becoming dinner by these hungry cats prepared to devour them any minute. They were so outnumbered; these foes may just be small fries but they were still Yatos and to think that Harusame is backing them up; it would be more difficult to deal with this.

With nowhere to run, they just stood there with their weapons on their hands leaning on the tree behind them. Umibouzu was holding his umbrella then wooden swords were equipped for Gin and Shinpachi. It was like a dead end, they had no choice but to fight them.

They still had to worry about two brats who are in grave danger because of a certain psychotic Siscon brother.

"What do we do? Gin-san, Umibouzu-san." Shinpachi said; his eyes moved at their direction as he called their names,"If we don't hurry up..." he continued looking in front of him while scanning the number of opponents facing them.

Drops of sweat trickled down to his face. The breathing of his two companions was audible to his ears maybe due to the tension around them increased as every second goes by. The hostility in the enemies' eyes towards them was too evident; he just swallowed his saliva.

"Yeah Pattsuan, If we don't hurry up..." Gin replied with that serious tone in his voice, "I might..." he paused for a bit.

Shinpachi's ears were more focused on him now.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Shit my pants." Gin continued.

*blink blink* "Eh?" Shinpachi said, and looked at Gin, "Uhhh...G-gin-san, what do you mean by that?"

He decided to examine his wavy haired companion and noticed something. He was producing incredible amounts of sweats in his face, holding his bokuto with his two hands though one hand was enough to grasp it, his hands were tightly seized on its handle with great strength that he may even break it, both his hands and knees were trembling terribly and his butt was protruding backwards.

Positive. Something inside of him must be taken out ASAP.

"I need to take a dump." Said Gin, still in a Bishie serious tone, trying to look cool; as he was staring into the distance; grinning like an idiot.

"OIIIIII! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT TIMING?!" Shinpachi kind of yelled though he moderated his voice so that the enemies won't hear them, "Gin-san! You're ruining the scene! Our lives is in danger here, you know!"

"Shut up Megane! My ass is at its limit already! "

Shinpachi finally faced Gin, and said,"As if we have time to worry about that!"

He looked back at him, "Oi! Don't underestimate this! If this goes BOOOOM! It might be deadlier than a nuclear weapon you know!" said he in a panicky tone as he gestured his hands in relation with his words.

"Just how long have you been holding it in, huh?!"

Gintoki had felt movements of something struggling to escape within his butt, and said, "Ah. Crap. Shinpachi, just dig a hole for me. I'll do my business there."

"WAIT! Stop it Gin-san! Consider the image you're supposed to have! You're the main character of this anime, ne? ne?! AHHHHHHHH!" then he looked at their other companion, " Umibouzu-san, help me here!"

He was also staring so seriously at their enemies when he spoke, "Yorozuya, I've dug a hole here. "

"YOU'RE GONNA HELP HIM?!"

"T-thank you Baldy. Let's just switch places."

"OI! You're really doing this?!"

Though Gin was trembling he was still able to move his feet and go slowly to Umibouzu's place.

"Heh. My father once told me, 'A warrior must be prepared to do his business in any place at any time.'" Umi said.

"Father, my ass! You just stole that line from Katsura-san in episode 190, right?! " Shinpachi retorted.

"I'm impressed with you, Gintoki. I feel assured entrusting my daughter to you."

"Uhhhh...I don't think someone who dumps anywhere can even be trusted."

While Shinpachi was busy with his retorts, Gin was already about to reach Umibouzu.

"Eh? Doesn't it stink?"

Gin suddenly froze, it was one of the enemies. They were all just watching the three while having their conversation, and since there were no signs of attacking them they just watched them the whole time, still being cautious with their actions.

Shinpachi faced Gin, "Uhhh.. Gin-san, you couldn't have done IT, have you?"

"A-as if! Shinpachi-kun! Don't you trust Gin-san? He won't ever do something as shameless as that, right?"

"Ie, but you were about to do something shameless moments ago."

"S-shinpachi-kun! Are you looking down on me?! I'm the main character, remember?! M-must be from the hole, n-ne Umibouzu-san?"

"Yeah, that hole in your butt."Umi replied seriously.

"OI! Now you're betraying me!"

Hearing the words, 'Eh? Doesn't it stink?' The enemies started to became conscious. All of them were now staring at each other trying to figure out where it came from.

"Ahh! You're right!"

"It's from the three of them, right?"

"Did someone take a dump there?"

"Geh. Does someone have gas mask there?"

"I think I want to hurl."

Gintoki just stood there as he heard them continuously throwing those words at him; though the enemies were completely unaware of it.

_Oiii! What's with this situation?! E-embarrassing! _Gin thought while still getting frozen from where he stood, his eyes were all black.

"OI! W-why is there a dog's shit here? " he stuttered while pretending to have really found something beneath him.

"But we don't even have dogs here."

"And it's too strong for a dog's shit."

"Yeah."

But the enemies did not accept his excuse they just continued their murmurs which were audible enough for them.

"S-shinpachi-kun?" Gin called out; as he faced him; hoping for some help from him.

"Ganbare, Gin-san." He replied; not looking at him.

Then to his other companion,"U-umibouzu-san?"

"Be responsible. You're already an adult." The baldy man responded; same with Shin, he didn't even look at Gintoki.

Poor Gintoki. Despite being the main character of this anime who always ranks 1st; he was in this humiliating situation; a situation of Kondou's calibre. Now that even his trusted comrades have turned their backs on him, this fight is something that he, himself must conquer.

"Don't falter! Just focus on the enemies!" Yahiro commanded to keep his army together.

"Y-yes Sir!" they immediately complied.

Now all of the enemies are focused at the three, with the same stance from a while ago. Though on a second look, something seemed to be wrong with them, like they were trying to tolerate something.

Yahiro shouted, "Attaaaa- "

But then, Gintoki suddenly raised his hand; which caught everyone's attention.

"U-uhhh...S-sorry to interrupt you but...Can I use the toilet first?" he bravely spoke; with his voice trembling.

At that instance, all the men they were facing hastily made way for him like he had some virus. There was a clear path created just for his exit.

"Y-yes. " Yahiro replied.

Hints of tears were shown in his eyes, "T-thank you." Then he started walking along the path made for him, while holding his butt with his right hand.

"Gintoki." Umibouzu called; Gintoki looked back.

The baldy old man handed a piece of tissue to him,"To wipe your tears."

"Ah...ahaha...T-thank you." He tried his best to smile, then whispered, Though I think something more important should be wiped." He said.

"Just turn right and you'll see the toilet." Yahiro said.

_All of us stood there, watching the back of this courageous samurai as he tried his best to walk with the little amount of pride left in him. _Shinpachi thought.

Contrast to Yahiro's instructions, Gin kept walking straight ahead.

"Oi. That's not the right way." Yahiro said; noticing that something was wrong.

Gin looked back together with that troll smile in his face, "Hehe." He teased as he took off his hand from his butt, there were no stains at all.

Yahiro gasped as he finally realized what just happened, "It's a trap! After him!"

His minions were about to attack Gintoki but they were stopped by a baldy and a pair of glasses. They were both grinning.

"Oi Yorozuya, I heard the toilets in Harusame ships have automatic sprinklers for your butt." Umibouzu said.

"Oh really, then I guess I should go there. Being digital sometimes might be great." He replied, "And by the way Baldy, your drawing is so crappy." he waved the tissue paper he just gave him, with a map drawn in it.

"Heh." He just smirked.

"Damn you! So it was your plan all along!" Yahiro cursed.

"Now it's your asses' time to be screwed!" Umi and Shin shouted in unison as they marched forward the enemies.

-00000-

_Splash _

A gigantic furry animal was running amidst the heavy downpour. His ashen furs akin to the snow were slowly getting tainted by the muddy soil beneath them that kept on getting into his body as he ran. He didn't care about getting drenched in the rain or getting dirtied by the mud, he just kept moving forward.

"Sadaharu, faster!" Kagura commanded.

He complied immediately. Her words are absolute towards this gigantic dog; she is his master after all.

"I'm so sorry Sadaharu to have you put up with this; but we have to save Gin-chan and the others from that Baka Aniki of mine." she said, leaning closer to Sadaharu's ears.

"Arf!" he replied as though he understood it well.

She can't help but worry with the current situation if she won't hurry up; things might get out of hand. She knew it well, the Yorozuya leader may not say it directly, but she knew that her brother had taken an interest on Gin-chan, well not the BL way. Who knows what would happen if these two would face each other, now that they are both here. Not that she doesn't trust Gin's strength, but her brother was far too dangerous for him; he won't stop until he had killed his prey. It would be a death match and she never wished to witness it.

"_**You'll never gonna have someone…. If you do…..you'll only lose them shortly.. "**_

She suddenly remember when she first heard those words coming from her eccentric brother while she is mourning of her beloved Sadaharu's death. She had no friends from their tribe at that time and that pet was the only one she can have in those gloomy days. But those blissful days didn't last long. She unconsciously smothers him one night while they were sleeping.

That was the first time that she didn't attempt to response on her brother's insolent words. Not only because she's lost for things to say… but because…

….

…

…

She knew that he was right. She lost her pet due to her clumsiness.

Years after that, she will found herself at that situation again. But this time, she knew that she will never let that happen again. Now that there are people who care about her more than what she had expected. People who prove that her Baka nii-chan was wrong.

Kagura was gripping tightly on the furs of her beloved pet though her right side's grasp was weaker probably due to her injury a while ago. There may be a cloth wrapped to stop the bleeding temporarily, but a bit of pain still lingers in it but she's still able to bear it or she would just ignore it.

Her whole body was getting soaked in the rain that her dampened clothes had sipped to her flesh. Her usual companion who protects her from this downpour was not with her; it was left to her sworn rival. He even whispers some 'disgusting' words to her before she left him.

_**"Thanks, my cute China monster wife."**_

"Hah. That bastard. Just make sure you give it back to me or I'll kill you." She thought to herself. Even herself had never imagined that she can lend her parasol to someone she consider as her rival.

But if that can make her heart relieve from worrying about him. Guess she had no choice.

Sadaharu finally halted his feet. She then tried to examine the place they had stopped by; it was Yahiro's house.

"You sure they are here?" she asked.

"Arf!" he barked once again, denoting certainty with his answer.

Then she noticed two guards standing outside some dubious looking door like they were guarding whatever is inside it.

"Inside that?" she inquired for the second time; her eyes directed to the door.

The dog in question just nodded.

As if sensing his master's thoughts, without any more notice, Sadaharu had jumped very high that in just one try they had reached the entrance and even broke the door.

They were too surprised that they had failed to take action as soon as the trespassers had come in. And who wouldn't be? A dog way beyond normal size just jumped over them.

"HAI! Excuse us for the intrusion!" Kagura shouted who just passed by the two guards.

"Stop there you brat!" one of the guards shouted while running after the intruders.

Sadaharu stopped from running as Kagura jumped backwards while somersaulting in the air with grace, landing perfectly on the faces of the two guards chasing them; knocking them out immediately.

Her white furry pet then walked towards her. She leaped and rode to his back once again.

"Let's go Sadaharu."

"Arf!"

0000

A pair of glasses was holding into one of the bars of cold steel lined up like those in jail. He was confined in this small room; together with a baldy old man. They had no way of escape in this some kind of prison with the security tightening up ensuring they won't flee from there.

" What the hell is with that nonchalant insult just now? " the lame tsukkomi nagging mother glasses with almost no presence at all spoke, "OII! Stop with this already! And it even got worse than the first one!"

The narrator just ignored him so that he would stop being annoying and continue with the dialogue.

*anger mark*He just sighed, "After putting up a front a while ago, we still end up here." then he looked at his companion in that cell,"What do we do now, Umibouzu-san?"

Surprisingly, the said baldy old man companion was just seated in the corner without any hint of anxiousness even if with this predicament they're faced with.

"At least we're in the enemy's lair now." He answered.

He finally released his grip from the jail bar and decided to sit down near Umibouzu.

"But what about Gin-san? They might be coming after him now that they have caught us."

"I don't think so."

"Eh? How can you be so sure, Bouzu-san?"

"If they know that wavy haired samurai is heading towards their Boss, they wouldn't want to get in the way of his entertainment. I'm sure that bastard Yahiro is aware that he is his prey. They would just let their Boss settle with that guy."

"Then, shouldn't we help Gin-san? He's in grave danger if he goes there!"

He sighed, "I know this sounds unreasonable but..." he averted his eyes from Shinpachi and stared ahead, "I still don't have enough courage to face that son of mine. I'm afraid that I would turn black once again and smear everything in him with black. And besides..."

Shinpachi's attention listened more intently to him. Kamui may have done terrible things to him, but he is still his son. He's still a member of his family that he cherished the most. He also knew that Kagura still wanted to save his brother.

Still wearing that serious expression in his face he continued, "This is the best way for the authors to avoid writing too much of a pain fighting scenes."

"Uhh..I don't think it was even necessary to mention that. You completely ruined the moment, Bouzu-san."

"Papi! Shinpachi!"

It was a voice of a girl they are completely familiar with. Upon hearing her, they both looked at the direction where her voice was coming from; just before the prison cell they are locked in.

"Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi called as he came nearer to the red haired girl, then he noticed the white furry animal beneath her, "Sadaharu! You're both safe!"

She jumped down from Sadaharu.

"Kagura-chan!" her father who was already beside Shinpachi shouted, "Has he done anything to you?"he asked, with too much worry in his voice.

"He? That Baka Aniki of mine?" Umibouzu just nodded, " Nah. He just talked to me and told me everything about this stupid engagement thing."

"I'm so sorry Kagura-chan. I just agreed to this engagement because of that stupid hair grower and also; they told me that they know where your brother was. But I didn't expect them to be working together." Umibouzu replied.

She inspected the whole cell and noticed someone's presence was not there, "Wait. Where's Gin-chan?"

"He's headed to Harusame's ship; to your brother."

She then grabbed the hem of their collars with full strength, her face was filled with anger, "OI! Just why the hell did you let Gin-chan go there alone?! You know he could be killed there, right?!"

"K-kagura-chan." Umi spoke though having a bit of difficulty speaking since he's almost getting choked by her daughter, "You know how futile it is to stop that stubborn guy if he had decided onto something."

She finally loosened her grip from the two, "But why would Gin-chan pick a fight with that bastard if he knew it would be dangerous?"

"To save you and Okita-san from your brother."

"HUH?! Why's that damn Sadist brought up in this conversation?!"

Umibouzu replied, "Because he wants you Kagura-chan, and I'm sure he would use force to have you."

"How's that connected with that bastard?"

"He thinks Okita-san is your weakness."

"OI! Just how can that Sadist be my weakness, HUH?! That stupid Kamui!"

"But it is what he believes, Kagura-chan."

"Okita-san is in grave danger too. Where is he by the way? Aren't the two of you together?"

But before Shinpachi could get his answer,Kagura had hastily rode in Sadaharu's back. They had even started moving away from that cell.

"Wai—Kagura-chan! Where are you going?" Shinpachi asked, looking at Kagura.

Before she could exit the place, she looked back at them, "I'm the only one who would kill that son of a bitch." And she continued moving forward.

"Oi! You could've freed us before you left!" Shinpachi shouted but she was already out of his sight, he just sighed, "Mou, just what did she come here for?"

"Ahhh...youth. " Katsura said.

"Eh?" Shinpachi said as he examined the prison cell which is opposite to theirs.

There, a certain long black haired guy was detained alone.

"K-katsura-san?"

The said guy responded to his call and faced him, "I was on standby the whole scene." he replied with his usual serious face; completely unaware of his stupidity.

"OIII! A completely unrelated character just appeared in this scene!"

0000

In a vast land with nothing but the muddy ground, the rain just continued pouring. Countless bodies; alive or not; could be seen lying everywhere, bathing in blood that had mixed with the rain.

There a certain red haired girl wearing Chinese clothing together with her beloved pet were standing in the midst of those bodies. None of them caring about the immensity of this downpour; no matter how drenched they are; they stood still.

The same hues have filled the surrounding, colours that just give off a gloomy feeling. It felt so dark. But in spite of this, there was one that had exceptionally caught her eyes.

Purple.

Her umbrella which was once having this hue was now tinged with red;

….with blood.

"Damn." She murmured as her legs turned weak.

"_**You'll never gonna have someone…. If you do…..you'll only lose them shortly.. "**_

No. That's the only word she can say right now. Like that moment on her pet, she was out of words again. She knew how Kamui can easily kill human. And at this rate…..

…_**..you'll only lose them shortly**_

"Sougo."

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

"_**Aishiteru, Kagura"**_

"_**Even if it's fake, I will do this for you….my wife."**_

"_**Thank you Kagura.. Don't worry I'll be the one who will protect you."**_

"SADIIIIISSSSTT!"


	13. Chapter 13

"Ah. I think I just had the urge to kill Hijikata just now."

Sougo suddenly stopped from his tracks. He was walking on a corridor of some unknown house and with that sudden pause he realized that he was kind of lost. He was unfamiliar with this place after all. Just a while ago there was a certain SisCon elder brother who was guiding his way; but before he knew it he was out of his sight.

So with just his instincts, he decided to walk straight ahead.

"Ah Crap. I miss killing Hijikata. Hijikata-san, don't die yet." He said talking to himself.

It was quite a humongous house actually with spacious corridors that when you scream or speak the sound produced would echo and the ceiling's altitude is twice or maybe even thrice his height, probably owned by some rich bastard. But he didn't bother roaming his eyes to examine the house, he just walked straight ahead with both his hands on his pockets. He was alone that his footsteps were the only sound heard in the whole corridor. Trusting his instincts once again; he turned right.

For the second time, he halted his movements with the scene presented in front of him which reminded him of what that guy he was following a while ago telling him that he would just visit some acquaintance in the past.

"Some acquaintance from the past, huh?" said Sougo.

The scene: Kamui was holding Mashiro in her waist while seizing her wrist looking intently down into her eyes with a grin getting amused in that kind of situation pulling her closer to his body, while Mashiro was responding to his gaze though having that uninterested kind of face

Never in his wildest imagination, not that he even tried imagining it, would he expect to see a scene straight from a Shoujo manga this close, not even with this combination; it was just too out of the question. It was such a perfect scene that even for just split seconds Sougo had hallucinated and saw the two of them having such sparkly and dazzling background. After all, they wouldn't even care about such stupid things as 'LOVE' or it may not even be existing in their vocabularies; or should we say 'Normal' love. Since Mashiro is into BOY's love while Kamui is into his sister having that superb Sister Complex. But on the other hand, they make quite a good couple, or they may really be meant for each other. Hell, it was too amusing for Sougo.

He badly wanted to ruin this 'two past lovers reunited by fate' kind of scene. He's a Do-S after all, and seeing how those two would react is something to look forward to.

He took out his bazooka and pointed it to the both of them, "I shall arrest you both for Public Scandal." He threatened; opposed to his passive expression.

Mashiro's reflexes were then stimulated that she hastily pushed away Kamui; with not that much force; as she took out her SWORD (wherever it was hidden) holding it in a fighting stance; still not processing who the perpetrator was.

As she finally examined her front; she had quickly identified that he was not a threat; she then returned her sword to God only knows where, just how the hell was she able to hide that huge sword?

Getting relieved, she just sighed, "Nanda. It's just you, Sougo." Said she.

"Ohh...Getting mad at me for interrupting you? But that's PDA Mashed Potato, try doing it privately next time." Sougo replied, putting back his bazooka.

Mashiro had no time to think of a retort for Sougo's statement since she was immediately interrupted by someone else.

"You know each other?" Kamui, the almost forgotten presence, asked as he was looking at Sougo.

"Maa..Kind of. " he replied staring back at him.

Two handsome guys staring at each other's eyes with narrowed distances in their faces right in front of her; Mashiro can only stand there and watch them intently.

_Are they going to kiss in front of me? Or are they just suppressing it with my presence here? Should I just push one of them and let them kiss each other? The elder brother who seeks for his little sister and the guy who took away his sister from him; what's with this angst? Then -Wait._

Her delusions were then stopped when she realized the situation; "Sougo, why are you here?" Mashiro asked.

He faced her, "I was just following this guy." said he as he pointed Kamui with his thumb.

"The two of you were together just now?" she asked once again, as her tone gradually changed into an amused one.

They both just nodded.

3...2...1...and BOOM! That confirmation was just enough to fully open the door to the world of darkness in Mashiro's heart; the forbidden love between boys.

Fujoshi mode: ON!

*sparkly eyes*"Then..then..You just came from some dark isolated place where you unleashed the forbidden desires you've been suppressing and did IT there?! Wait..Then what about Takasugi?! and Abuto?! Kamui, you have such great harem! OMG! Then it's a MORESOME! So-"

But her sentence was cut by a katana suddenly pointing to her face, "Shut up Fujoshi; it's disgusting." Said Sougo then he sheathed his sword once again.

Kamui just chuckled at her, "Ahahaha. So you're still into that? And you even got worse, huh?"

She then stared at Kamui, looking intently in his tightly shut eyes, "My feelings never changed after all."said she.

As he heard those words, Kamui suddenly opened his eyes which caught Mashiro off guard. It was kind of weird for her especially when she saw how his facial expression changed. He looked so serious; his blue orbs were so rounded filled with curiosity;pleading as if expecting more with those words she just spoke; added with his hand which was involuntarily extending towards her face.

She had sensed his actions, but her body just won't move, she wanted to step backwards and avoid him but she just can't, even her eyes won't leave his. His hand kept nearing her face every second that passed by.

Thankfully, she was able to come to her senses even for just a bit, she then continued her statement, "For Boy's love that is."

His hand stopped its movements together with his eyes which were shut once again.

He smiled just like the usual, then extended his hand a bit more to reach her cheeks and pinched it, "You thought I would kiss you?" said he as though teasing her.

"Yeah, it was your past time after all." She replied staring keenly at him.

He just replied with a smile.

Sougo, the almost forgotten presence this time, was silent the whole time; just standing beside them while witnessing the lovey dovey moment of this one of a kind couple. This time, he decided not to interrupt. It was not every day that he gets to watch something as amusing as this.

Kamui finally took off his hand from her,"Sougo-kun, let's head to the spaceship."

That kind of surprised Sougo, and asked, "Eh? Aren't you going to continue your quality time with your ex-girlfriend?"

Kamui tilted his head, "Ex-girlfriend? Who?"

"I thought you were trying to get her back?" then Sougo pointed Mashiro.

_As expected from that stupid Kamui. _She just let off a sigh, "It's not what you think, Sougo Okita. He's just a pervert, you see."

"Ahahaha...Now, that's rude Mashiro."Kamui said then continued, "We better leave now, Sougo."

Confused with the contradicting words and action of these two, Sougo stared at them. He may not be that much of an expert, but he's also a guy, his instincts tell him that there's some special meaning to his gazes at Mashiro. He knew those stares were only meant for that one girl. Probably because he could 'kind of' relate to him.

_Ehhhh...Don't tell me he's an airhead _Then he remembered HIS China and her dense personality,_ It must've been in the genes._ He concluded.

Kamui started walking and Sougo just followed him. But before they could further distance themselves from her, Mashiro had grabbed Sougo in his collar. Now they were both staring at each other with their faces just inches away. But well, they didn't care about that position; they may not even be aware of how intimate it looked like. Both have uninterested kind of facial expression.

.

.

.

.

."Tell me EVERYTHING later, okay?" said she, half threatening; half pleading from him.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." He replied.

In the midst of their conversation, a hand came in between them suddenly grasping Mashiro's hand.

"Ahahahahaha...SOUGO-KUN?" Kamui said, or rather threatened, he was smiling but it had some devious feeling in it, "Let's just go, OKAY?" he was facing Sougo.

"Roger Onii-chan." He said mockingly, moving back from Mashiro, while he finally started moving his feet.

Kamui laid down his hand on waist level dragging Mashiro's hand in the process. He gave her a playful smirk as he moved his feet one step forward. Even if she wanted to hold him more and feel his warmth, she knew she had to let go. She loosen her grip to release herself from this guy, but she had felt him squeezed her hand like he wanted to bring her along with him or he doesn't want to let her go; before she had completely taken off her hand from him.

"Just join us if you want to." He said as he waved his hand.

He finally walked away from her casually and once they were out of sight, Mashiro just sat down; in a squat position; with her hands hanging freely to her knees.

She sighed, "Tch."

_Damn you Kamui. You should have tried hiding your 'dere' side._

Meanwhile in Harusame airship, two sadistic bishounens are walking in its hallways; having just the same pace. None of them have spoken for the past few minutes.

_Achoo._

Kamui then stared at his companion, "Ahaha...I think someone's thinking about you, Sougo-kun."

"Your sister must be missing me a lot." Sougo replied.

He could only reply with a smile; yes, a smile that hid every devious thing in his mind. And Sougo just can't help but tease him more; getting easily pissed off with these trivial things.

When suddenly an eye patched man with a combination of black violet colour of hair that emits this 'I am a Lolicon' aura appeared before them. His right arm was hanging freely on his half opened kimono while holding his pipe.

"Kamui, someone's looking for you." He said.

Then a girl came forward from behind him; with just that hue of her hair just like the sun's, Kamui and Sougo had already guessed who it was.

"It's a pleasure to be working with you again, Captain." Mashiro said.

So, was it worth the wait? Or not? I'm so sorry *bows*

And so, since things are getting more serious, expect that updates would be later than before! Yeah! (=_=ll) but we'll seriously do our best to update the fastest we can, and promise that we'll **never ever** abandon this fic!

And since there's still no OkiKagu for this chapter, here's a teaser for Chapter 14:

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! O(/0/)O

Finally, IT happens.

**Kagura: Now they're giving false hopes to the reader *droopy eyes***

**Sougo: As if I"ll k**** this alien freak.**

**Rhai&Soui: Hai hai, see you in Chapter 14!**

**Kagu: Ne, about that Mashed Potato.**

**Rhai&Soui: *looks***

**Kagu: She's not supposed to be a Yato, right?**

**Rhai&Soui: ... *looks at the camera* The mysteries are yet to be revealed!**

**Sougo: Ah. They really messed up.**


End file.
